Author Archives: Ilsa Rey

About Ilsa Rey

Mother, martial artist, author of the forthcoming novel, Wish I Was Here (December 2025).

Apr18

Well, THAT didn’t go well.

Posted on April 18, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

In one Jiu-Jitsu class, Instructor was watching me do the moves and pointed out that the position the “bad guy” wound up in was perfect for Twisting Arm Control from a different lesson.

Do I know how to do Twisting Arm Control? Why, of course I do.

Could I remember in that moment how to do Twisting Arm Control? Why, of course I couldn’t.

Instructor had to remind me of the steps, but, before he could say, “Jump into side mount,” I proudly jumped into side mount! Facing. The wrong. Direction.

Later I reflected on what had gone wrong there and realized it was probably because it was his left arm, when I’ve only practiced this move right handed.

Knowing I need to work on that, I was excited to learn of new mini-Reflex Development classes happening after most regular classes.

In the first one, run by Surfer Dude, it was just me and one other student. I’ll call him…

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Apr6

Our neighbors are moving and a time capsule

Posted on April 6, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Our neighbors are moving and a time capsule

Calm down. Not Beloved Neighbor, but others we really like too. It’s super sad. Yesterday she texted our little mini neighbor group that there’s stuff in their garage anyone is welcome to.

We stopped by.

Let’s just think of it as us helping them out, keeping them from making multiple trips to Goodwill, rather than perusing someone else’s junk for freebies, mmkay? We were happy to lighten their carload. Goodwill isn’t that close, after all.

I HAD been thinking about getting a Dustbuster. Unfortunately, they couldn’t find the charger, so I’ll get to use it for so long as the battery holds. What to do with it after that? Errr. No idea.

There was also one of those cool cupcake carrying bins that would’ve come in handy in the past, and now will in the future. Outdoor Christmas lights? Sure, why not? Some Hardy Boys books I hope Joe will enjoy when he’s older. A couple of sleeping bags that may prove useful. And then…

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Apr1

One about Surfer Dude

Posted on April 1, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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From August 2022 when I earned my fourth white stripe. Apparently Instructor (left) and Surfer Dude (right) were doing a tough guy pose. Not surprisingly, I appear to have been too happy to look tough.

Before Jiu-Jitsu class formally started one night, two students were trying to do a particular move. They couldn’t remember how it started (the indicator) and were doing the parts they could remember rather clumsily. Doing it incorrectly repeatedly is not a good way to practice. It would’ve been wrong for me to stand by and watch.

“You doing class 20?” I asked.

“Take the back from the guard?” one said.

I nodded.

“Wow, she even knows the numbers,” one said to the other.

I know this number, for a very specific reason, which I’ll tell you in a moment.

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Mar27

Help me figure this one out

Posted on March 27, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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I’ve had a couple more elbow escape classes. You know, that one move I’m good at? In one of these classes, Instructor told me I was “on fire,” and said, “No point deductions,” which are my three favorite words.

Surfer Dude said, “That was so quick, I didn’t have a chance to commentate.” Poor guy.

In a slightly different elbow escape class, my partner said, “She’s got that down.”

“Yes. She. Does,” Instructor said as he walked away to watch another pairing.

“Those four stripes aren’t just for show,” Surfer Dude said.

I don’t know what it is with me and this particular move. Not only did I do it with my eyes closed, but I was even humming! Not intentionally to be a punk, mind you. It was just… happening.

Meanwhile, I hate to break this to you, but in the most recent triangle choke class, Instructor told us to lift our head and smile at our partner if they forgot to keep head control.

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Surfer Dude said, “That was so quick, I didn’t have a chance to commentate.” Poor guy.

In a slightly different elbow escape class, my partner said, “She’s got that down.”

“Yes. She. Does,” Instructor said as he walked away to watch another pairing.

“Those four stripes aren’t just for show,” Surfer Dude said.

I don’t know what it is with me and this particular move. Not only did I do it with my eyes closed, but I was even humming! Not intentionally to be a punk, mind you. It was just… happening.

Meanwhile, I hate to break this to you, but in the most recent triangle choke class, Instructor told us to lift our head and smile at our partner if they forgot to keep head control.

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Mar6

Let’s pretend I did that on purpose

Posted on March 6, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Frequently I’m partnered with the kid, whom I’ll call Billy. (Get it?) Even when I’m not the only female, I get matched with Billy. That’s not my favorite, since I’m unlikely to be attacked by a 6th grader, but I get it. I’m closest in size to him, since I, too am built like an 11-year-old boy.

Anyway, one night he did some move which was apparently cool. I didn’t see it, but Instructor asked if he had done it on purpose. Billy said no. (Points for honesty!) Instructor said he shouldn’t admit when he does something cool by mistake.

Later, Instructor told Billy to really make me work for it, which I appreciated. So Billy put up a fight. Instructor: “Whoa, Betsy. You got your knees up behind his back. Pulling out stuff from class 11.” He turned to Surfer Dude. “Did you see that?”

“Yeah.” Surfer Dude nodded appreciatively.

It’s a good thing I had just learned not to admit when I do something cool by accident.

Happily doing an arm bar. Pics compliments of Mrs. Instructor who kindly sent them to me after a different class. (That’s not Billy.)

In another class, we learned a new-to-me way of doing the headlock escape superbase variation, so I had no muscle memory to carry me through on this one. Instructor sat down in front of me to watch, so of course my mind immediately went blank.

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Feb22

Receiving my second first stripe

Posted on February 22, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Second first stripe, February 2024. See the stripe on the bottom of my belt, all shiny and new?

I recently hit my 20th class of Betsy’s Jiu-Jitsu Journey: Round Two. During that class, Instructor said to me, “I’ve never given a fifth stripe before. Do you want me to add it to your belt?”

I pointed out that my first, first stripe was falling off anyway, so he might as well replace it.

“Do you want me to just do it after class, or should I call you up in front of everyone and do it then?” The latter is how stripes are normally awarded. I’m not usually one to want attention and fanfare, but this would mean I had just completed my 100th Jiu-Jitsu class.

And, darn it, I wanted some fanfare.

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Feb15

Where there’s a belt, there’s baking

Posted on February 15, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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I was determined not to have a baking story to share because everything would be smooth sailing.

Hahahahaha!

First of all, I had asked a daughter to be sure we had all the ingredients we needed for our black belt ceremony cake. I was told to pick up whipped cream; otherwise, we were good.

Then Monday morning, day of the ceremony, I checked the recipe just to be sure. Wouldn’t you know it, I needed both milk and dark chocolate chips and heavy whipping cream. This was after going to three stores the Saturday before.

Son of a biscuit. Mondays are my busiest work days. I was at the closest store as soon as it opened at 9 and was out by 9:03, rushing home to get my work done. Finally, around 3:00, I took a break to make the ganache frosting.

Here was the intended final product, from the back of the Ghirardelli brownie mix box from Costco.

I had three bowls with a cup each of white, milk, and dark chocolate chips and had to watch the heavy whipping cream in the microwave, at 30 second intervals, to catch it when it was just boiling. Then I needed to pour 3/4 cups immediately into each bowl.

Naturally, my boss called me twice while in the midst of this.

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Feb13

I don’t normally accessorize, but this belt had my name on it.

Posted on February 13, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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I don’t normally accessorize, but this belt had my name on it.

Meanwhile, back in Taekwondo Land… The black belt test for my three girls and me was December 21. I couldn’t tell you about it yet because there was a backup at the embroiderers. Then scheduling conflicts with Sensei. Yadda-yadda. But this happened last night:

After nearly two months away, it felt weird to step back into this gym. But here we be! Youngest Daughter: “We have our black belts. We’re so cool now!” 😛

Last night Sensei said, “Your final test is, what does the Korean lettering on your belt mean?” Youngest Daughter: “It means, ‘Oh yeah!'” Surprisingly, that was incorrect. The real answer is ‘Victory.’ (I got it right.)

Here’s what I wrote, fortunately back in December, or I’d probably have forgotten much of this:

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