Author Archives: Ilsa Rey

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About Ilsa Rey

Mother, martial artist, author of the forthcoming novel, Wish I Was Here (December 2025).
Jan21

The Jiu-Jitsu Diaries: Day Three

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The Jiu-Jitsu Diaries: Day Three

While writing my last post, I had a bit of a revelation: What if partnering with Sensei is the problem?

When in doubt, Sensei is always the problem.

But maybe it’s a combination of me being distracted by my desire to show that man up because I’m so annoyed at him being better at me in everything, and his inability to turn off the teacher switch. Like, dude, stop telling me what to do and let me think for myself a moment. (I’ve since said this to him, and he said, “Sorry,” so we’re cool.)

After this revelation, I considered asking Instructor to put me with someone else. Then I thought better of it and decided to leave the partnering to fate.

As fate would have it, Sensei was late, so Instructor partnered me with someone else. How’d I do?

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Jan19

An unexpected pick-me-up

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An unexpected pick-me-up

I was having an Andy Dwyer moment.

If you haven’t watched Parks and Recreation, Andy is the endearing yet not so smart character played by Chris Pratt. In one episode he’s trying to win over the girl he likes, April. A friend tries to help him formulate a plan by asking, “What are your skills?”

Andy responds, “I’m nice. I’m in a band.” The friend waited for more, but that was the extent of Andy’s CV.

I feel on par with Andy. I’m one of those things. The other, no one in their right mind would have me do.

Side note: I was recently telling a friend I had zero musical ability. “I like to dance, though,” I said.

She perked up. “Really? What kind?”

Evidently she was expecting salsa, swing, ballet, heck, even tap would probably do.

“Uh, just to music I like.”

She turned her attention to someone else.

Probably a good thing I didn’t mention head banging.

So, I’m sticking with “nice,” and some people think I’m funny. That’s two. I have to accept that Jiu-Jitsu is not in my skill list, despite how much I wish it would be.

Here’s an opportunity to use two of those 149 pics I’ve been stockpiling. I spotted this and another t-shirt two years ago and snapped pics in case I ever had cause to mention Parks and Rec. I hope fellow fans will appreciate them.

Mouse Rat just happens to be the name of Andy’s band!

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Jan17

Betsy goes back to Jiu-Jitsu aaaaaaaaannnddd you can probably guess what happened next.

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Betsy goes back to Jiu-Jitsu aaaaaaaaannnddd you can probably guess what happened next.

Okay, so I did that free seminar thing with Sensei back in November, right? And we snagged coupons for two free weeks of class, making plans to use them this month. I eagerly awaited our first class, last night at 8p.m., a time that seemed far too late. I kept watching the clock, trying to find ways to fill the time.

This is taking forever. What should I do? Wash dishes or something?!

Don’t worry, I didn’t stoop that low.

Finally, the hour drew near. Once again I perceived the heavenly choir of angels as I pulled my plastic-wrapped gi from the back of the closet.

Throwback to Little Dude wearing my gi top in July 2022.

It was almost surreal to bid farewell to my family as I went off to war. Or, just, you know, to a martial arts class.

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Jan4

Yet ANOTHER random pic post!

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Yet ANOTHER random pic post!

We’ll call this my new year’s gift to you. We could also call it, “Betsy’s overwhelmed by the stupid amount of pics she’s held onto.” You decide which seems more likely.

I’m giving you your trivia question early: Guess how many pictures I still have in my random pic folder after this post. I don’t even know the answer yet. It will be a fun discovery for us all!

But this pic post has a theme! (I heard trumpet blasts. Did you hear trumpet blasts?)

The theme is: Signs–in stores or on cars. Here we go.

Points for puns!

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Dec31

Photo Dump, Part 2

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Photo Dump, Part 2

Happy New Year’s Eve! Maybe if you’re trying to stay up late tonight, this will help. Orrrrr, it might put you to sleep. In which case, lo siento mucho.

Hubby: Oooh, you doing another photo dump post?

Me: I thought I’d sneak one in before the year was out. Why? You like these?

Hubby: I enjoy the randomness.

He knows my middle name.

Anywho, without further ado, random things that made me think of you. (Move over, Dr. Seuss.)

The pinnacle of random. I’ve seen feet hanging out the passenger side, but the driver’s side? And was he always barefoot, or did his shoe fall off a mile back?

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Dec26

Photo Dump, Part 1

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Photo Dump, Part 1

I’m just assuming there’s going to be a part 2 since I’ve saved so many random things to show you. Here I go, sort of backwards in time. First of all, did everyone get something like this in their mailbox?

Cute.
Way to angle for some cookies, Joe. I complied. No thank you note, though. Let’s see what you get next year, “JOE”!!!!!

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Dec13

“‘Ride on a float,’ she said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ she said.”

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  1. What movie quote am I adapting for my own purposes?
  2. It was fun, actually.

Beloved Neighbor’s grandfather-in-law was a firefighter. His decommissioned 1952 fire truck has become a staple in our town’s annual Christmas parade.

Neighbor’s three sons were each able to choose one friend to join them on the float. Their youngest invited my Joe.

Joe, neighbor boy, and some weird old dude in a red suit. Apparently he’s famous? Lots of people wanted their picture with him.

When I brought Joe, Neighbor asked if I’d like to ride on the float too.

“Really? Can I?”

“Sure. If there’s room, I don’t see why not.”

I immediately added “Ride in a parade” to my mental bucket list just so I could then cross it off.

I also added and crossed off, while I had the chance:

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Nov12

Giddy, y’all. Gi-ddy! (There’s a pun in there.)

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Giddy, y’all. Gi-ddy! (There’s a pun in there.)

First, if you’re new here and don’t want to be lost, read this paragraph. If you’re old hat, feel free to skip along. The brief recap: I did Jiu-Jitsu for nearly a year and was In. Love. Then, in September 2022, when testing for my next belt, I injured my foot and ankle. Things got gnarly, and I spent some time in a wheelchair. I nearly went back this past June but busted my knee before I could. I somewhat convinced myself the universe was against me doing Jiu-Jitsu forevermore.

Then this happened…

I’m still on Gracie Jiu-Jitsu’s distribution list. So, imagine my excitement when I saw the announcement for a free two-hour self defense seminar. I dug my old gi from the back of my closet, pulling off the plastic cover, singing, “Awwwwwww,” like a heavenly chorus. I tossed the bag aside and held up my beloved uniform, saying, “BEHOLD!”

My daughter, witnessing this, laughed, shook her head, and pushed her glasses farther up her nose.

I signed myself and two of my girls up and spread the word to others. Only one person took me up on it. Any guesses?

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Oct29

Building a winning costume

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Here’s a little how-to for your costume-construction needs. Follow these steps and you, too, can have a prize-winning costume with little effort on your part! [Warning: Results may vary for spouses.]

Step 1: Receive a text from Beloved Neighbor about a Halloween event in your town, which includes a costume contest at a brewery.

Step 2: Tell Hubby, I want this* costume. You have a week. Get moving.

*Rather than tell you what the costume is, I’ll show you pieces and see if you can figure it out.

Step 3: Lounge at home while Hubby makes multiple trips to Lowe’s. Upon his return, increase your music volume to drown out the obtrusive sounds of him sawing in the garage. (So rude.)

Step 4: With a few clicks, order his accompanying costume on Amazon. Dab the sweat from your brow after heroically completing this arduous task.

The accompanying costume.

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Oct22

Exploring a local city

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Mark frequently takes in the sites near him, (Who knew there were so many cool things to see in Wisconsin?) which makes me feel like a slacker for not doing the same near me.

I have kids, okay?!

So imagine my surprise when circumstances had us two towns over during a festival of sorts.

Apparently Cruisin’ Grand is an annual event every Friday throughout the summer. That a mosaic in the sidewalk commemorates the occasion, proves what a fixture it is. Where have I been?

And where is this, you ask? More art to the rescue!

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