Tag Archives: commas

Apr21

More editing brouhaha!

Posted on April 21, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

Book 2, Wish YOU Were Here (Not to be confused with book 1, Wish *I* Was Here), came back with edits for the first 20 pages. Remember when I went through this last time? You writers came out of the woodwork to offer your expertise.

I loved it. So let’s do it again, shall we?

The main thing this editor said was that I had too many one-sentence paragraphs, which weakens the impact when I want those quick grafs to really stand out. I get that. The challenge then was finding which short paragraphs to combine. For instance:

“How much money is it?”

“Seven thousand five hundred and eighty dollars.”

My mouth fell open.

“It’s a start anyway.” He jogged across the parking lot.

I stared after him, dumbfounded.

He gestured for me to follow. “Ana, come on.”

I shook the bewilderment off and joined him. “Keep a look out, will you?” He dropped to his knees and opened another compartment of his bag.

Everything after “How much money is it?” could be combined into one paragraph, really. But should it? I combined a few in the middle. What would you do?

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Mar7

Comma Conundrum Continued

Posted on March 7, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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Some of you really got into the comma discussion from my last post. Some others of you are thinking, “Where are the bruise pictures?”

BTW, funny thing about that wannabe black eye post, it earned likes from three CBD dispensaries and one counseling service. LOL. I’m okay, people. Really.

But getting back to the Comma Conundrum…

This isn’t me, but she gets it. (Thanks to Robin Higgins on Pixabay)

Here’s what your votes added up to, including a write-in from my mother via text. And, yes, friends, I do know the elementary comma conjunction rule when what follows is an independent clause.

1a At first there was nothing then a slight tickling as though from fur. TWO VOTES

1b At first there was nothing, then a slight tickling as though from fur. 14 VOTES

2a Even if I told them about the van, I didn’t know where it was headed, besides north. TWO VOTES

2b Even if I told them about the van, I didn’t know where it was headed besides north. 12 VOTES

What did the editor say?

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Mar6

Okay, you writer types. Let’s talk editing.

Posted on March 6, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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Okay, you writer types. Let’s talk editing.

A funny thing happened when I got feedback from the “kick-start editor” for my debut novel, Wish I Was Here. She checks the first 20 pages of your manuscript to give you an idea of stuff to look out for in the rest of your book. Mainly, it was all about the commas.

This cracked me up because commas were Mark’s primary concern when he did a run-through also. I specifically remember him adding a comma before “then” somewhere.

This lady? “No commas before then unless what follows is a complete thought.”

I understand the mechanics of that, sure, but what about when there’s a natural pause where the comma would go?