Tag Archives: trivia

Making children cry

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Making children cry

Hubby warned me. But I didn’t listen.

I wanted to do a review game with the second graders to prepare them for their test. I wrote “Side A” and “Side B” on the board to tally their scores. The kids in the first desk on each side were up against each other to see who could answer the question first. Then the second desk, etc. It seemed harmless enough.

But these were seven-year-olds.

Two girls started crying when they didn’t win. Fortunately, I knew one had a freakish knowledge of Jupiter. I said, “Bonus question: what is that big circle on Jupiter called?” She smiled, raised her hand, nailed it. At least, I assume she did. I couldn’t remember what it’s called. Great red spot or whatever? Doesn’t matter. I gave her team a bonus point, and she sat up tall and smiling. Whew.

The other girl teared up at the end, thankfully, so I said, “Could you please help me pass out these worksheets?” You’d think I’d handed her a miniature live unicorn that occasionally, though cutely and discreetly, burps out bubbles and sparkles. Another crisis averted.

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Blog buddy meetup #… 7? 8?

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Blog buddy meetup #… 7? 8?

Maybe it’s 9? Whatever. A month and a half ago, with next to no warning, which I thought was pretty cool, Chel Owens alerted me that she was in the area!

So we took a hike.

We had a fun time chatting like old friends, as blog buddies always are, and traipsed along an ocean lagoon with our husbands and sons.

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Here’s something unexpected.

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Here’s something unexpected.

To recap this past week: I had that final-final-final (I’ve lost count) draft to turn in. I did my day job. I did my new day job in the second grade. I subbed several classes. I had my annual birthday coffee date with two friends, and I stressed over prepping a speech I gave Saturday for engaged couples (postscript: the talk went well).

In the midst of this, a dear long-time blog buddy reminded me I was slated to do a guest post for her on my blog. I told her I’d need to get back to her because I was currently drowning. She graciously pushed it off till March, remembering that’s when my next book officially releases and suggesting we do a promo swap then.

Thanks a million for that, Jacqui. And everyone, if you’ve ever wondered what it was like to be a human in prehistoric times, Jacqui Murray has done fascinating research for her novels. Check them out.

Also during this week, for the sake of my mental health, I still made it to my usual Jiu-Jitsu classes, though for one, I showed up several minutes late and without my gi pants.

What a flippin’ mess I am.

Gi pants, chilling on my bed while I’m fighting my battles without them. What slackers–as opposed to slacks! Ooooh, pants pun!

Picture me slinking inside with skin-tight leggings and sitting on the bench with my gi top over my lap as Instructor is teaching. The whole line-up of students is facing me. One even waves. HRH looks at me. I mouth, “pants,” and point to my legs.

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It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

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It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

Surfer Dude stories! (I can hear your applause from here.)

Instructor and HRH were on a family camping trip one Saturday morning, so Surfer Dude (SD) taught Jiu-Jitsu. Toward the end, Smiley Guy asked SD what to do if someone gets their head out from under your leg (#onlyinJiuJitsu). SD showed it once, but class was over, so we didn’t practice that.

Rolling time, and I was with SD. At one point, he pushed my leg off from over his head, so I immediately pressed his chest back down with my other thigh, as he’d just shown.

“Oh-ho!” he said, eyebrows raised.

Later, I was standing, pondering how to get past his legs as he was in what I’ll call dead-bug position. Suddenly, his face brightened (uh-oh), he sat up, and pushed me over backward.

“Hey! That’s cheating,” I said. We both laughed. The timer rang, and he fist bumped me. “Good job,” he said.

I was practicing another day with SD when he said something along the lines of, “You can’t keep a good man down.”

“Oh, so since you just got out from the bottom of my side mount, you’re a good man, huh?” I said.

“I didn’t even think of that. You’re the one who made the connection.”

“Oooh, look at me. I’m Surfer Dude. I’m so great,” I said in my most obnoxious voice.

“Is that what I sound like in your head?”

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Ich wünschte ich wäre hier

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Ich wünschte ich wäre hier

I could also say: Ojalá estuviera aquí.

And soon it will be: [whatever “Wish I Was Here” is in French].

The publisher asked authors if they’d like their Kindle e-books translated into German and Spanish.

“Sure!” I said. “Why not?”

“They’ll be up within 72 hours,” was the response.

Clearly, that means they’re AI-generated. I hope the robots did a good job. Not that humans can’t make mistakes, of course. In fact, as well-refined as AI has become, maybe it did a better job than a human could. Still, some carbon-based life form proofreading after the fact would probably be prudent. I’d like to say I could do it, but…

Conozco ein bisschen Español y Deutsch pero nein Français. And certainly not enough of the first two to be a decent judge.

If anyone wants to 1) test their foreign language knowledge, 2) help out a blog buddy, and 3) enjoy a good book, especially as a fun summer read, try Wish I Was Here in the lingua of your choice! [Click/tap See all languages and editions then choose a language from the drop-down menu. It’s only $6 or free if you have Kindle Unlimited. Yes, I have an affiliate link, FWIW.]

Other ways my book goes international

The Travel Architect emailed me a pic of my book on her lap at the airport as she awaited a flight to Copenhagen.

“Oooh! Send me a pic of it at cool places,” I requested.

A couple of days later, I received an email titled Malmo City Library, Sweden.

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The “Dry Clean Only” Conspiracy

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The “Dry Clean Only” Conspiracy

Over the years, there has been a slow migration of formal wear from my closet into my daughters’ closets. This doesn’t bother me. I think it’s awesome we share clothes, and since I have few occasions to be fancy, they can house the gowns.

But the school’s annual fundraising gala was upon me, and I felt the dearth of dresses. I traipsed across the hall and found one daughter’s prom dress. The theme had been “murder mystery,” so she went as Miss Scarlet from Clue.

I sent the pic to Her Royal Highness (HRH) for approval. She benevolently bestowed her blessing.

Then I discovered bruises on one shoulder that sort of resembled a smiley face. This was after a Jiu-Jitsu class that HRH hadn’t attended. I blamed the boys for this one.

When I showed her this…

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A post about food! And flowers–not all of them edible.

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A post about food! And flowers–not all of them edible.
This flower looks like it wants to eat ME. Any guesses?

Y’all remember how I used to frequently find zucchini on my windshield after Taekwondo? There was also that one library incident.

Since I don’t see Sensei any more, the zucchini well has dried.

Or has it?

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I’m back, baby!

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I’m back, baby!

One of the first things Janis at Retirementally Challenged said to me when we finally met up (we’re in the same county for goodness sake!) was, “Why have you lost your blogging mojo?”

Janis and me at a Chili’s halfway between us.

Funny she should ask. On the drive down, Hubby and I had been discussing the issue: namely, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t returned to Jiu-Jitsu after breaking my foot in May. How could I tell you all? How would I explain? Did I really want to publicly admit the dream was over?

It didn’t help that Andrea commented on one of my posts, essentially, “Yeah, yeah, great about the book stuff, but where are the Jiu-Jitsu stories?!” I’m paraphrasing slightly.

I also felt guilt-ridden when I came across Jacqui’s comment about me to someone else on her blog:

You see I couldn’t take that lying down.

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Because I go to stupid lengths for humor

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Because I go to stupid lengths for humor

Like all great stories, this one begins and ends with zucchini.

Here’s what happened.

As planned, I made [read: commissioned Baking Daughter to make] muffins with the zucchini from the Senseis’ bounteous garden. I showed Sensei:

Lots of mini muffins. Hubby took some to work. Daughter took some to friends.

Sensei said, “Want to make a trade??? You need raw materials, I need finished goods.”

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Take cover!

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Cover me.

I’m going under cover.

Cover your mouth when you sneeze?

Okay, fine. I was trying to be unique and not do the standard announcement, but…

Cover Reveal!

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