Author Archives: Ilsa Rey

Unknown's avatar

About Ilsa Rey

Mother, martial artist, author of the forthcoming novel, Wish I Was Here (December 2025).
Sep16

Let the editing continue!

Posted on by
Standard
Let the editing continue!

I got the formatted copy of Wish YOU Were Here from the publisher and was given two weeks to check it over one more time.

Before this, I stressed over making changes for the final-final draft. After I turned that in, I was told to send in another copy if I made any further changes by whatever date it was. (Making a mental note to remember that’s an option when I’m stressing over Book 3.)

I waited until the day before this new date to look at my final-final draft because I never learn. Did I make changes? Yep! A bunch of them but didn’t have time to make it through the entire book. That bugged me.

But now I have a chance to make final-final-final changes, which meant repeated texts to Mark on a Saturday night, interrupting the MarTar Manor cards and cocktails tradition with my quibbling over commas and “in” vs. “into.”

It could have been super annoying, I’m sure, but Mark seemed to take it with aplomb. He even showed me a pic of what was spinning on the record player–Stone Temple Pilots. (I approved.) And I showed him a picture of my laptop with a shot glass of peanut butter whiskey propped dangerously above the keys. (He approved. Maybe not of the recklessness, but of the drink choice.) And this is why we’re friends.

Read the rest of this entry →
Sep6

Ilsa goes back to school

Posted on by
Standard
Ilsa goes back to school

The picture and caption I posted on socials:

I didn’t plan on being a teacher, except for martial arts, but when the school had a need for a second grade science teacher, I said I’d do it. My dear mother said: “Wow, good for you!” Then: “Do you know second grade science?” Love the confidence. I think I’ll manage. Thanks.

Then everyone’s favorite Royal Highness immediately texted:

This is just one class twice a week, and I wasn’t too concerned about second grade since I’d subbed that grade several times last year.

At that point, however, I’d been used to middle schoolers. Little kids are a different species. I didn’t know the cutesy tricks the lower grade teachers use like, “Quiet Coyote” and “One, two, three, eyes on me,” to which the students respond, “One, two, eyes on you.”

Who comes up with this stuff?

But before my appointed day with the littles, I sat with their teachers at lunch to get advice, explaining I was nervous since I only knew middle school. They said, “Ohhh! Middle school! Those kids are scary.”

Read the rest of this entry →
Aug31

The Lawyer Saga (A Jiu-Jitsu story, not real life)

Posted on by
Standard
The Lawyer Saga (A Jiu-Jitsu story, not real life)

I’ve had this running gag with Lawyer about me ignoring him. It started months ago when I looked past him to instead greet Balloon Man, whom I hadn’t seen in forever. I apologized to Lawyer for–his words–shunning him, explaining I’d already seen him plenty of times. He acted too offended to forgive.

I’m shocked I have a picture of this incident from so long ago. Balloon Man, L, looks like, “Why is this woman speaking to me? What is she even talking about?” Lawyer, middle, is like, “Uh, I’m standing here too, Ilsa!” Wish I could remember what was actually being said.

Then there was the time we were all waiting at the mat for class to begin. I called Lawyer’s name, then looked up and away as soon as he turned toward me, which made him laugh.

Another time, I waved to Lawyer before class started. He ignored me. Finally he saw me and stepped toward me. “I waved and you shunned me,” I said. He apologized and extended a fist. I bumped it and said, “Now we’re even.”

“No, we’re not,” he said.

Read the rest of this entry →
Aug26

Beating up my Jiu-Jitsu training partners–on accident!

Posted on by
Standard
Beating up my Jiu-Jitsu training partners–on accident!

Whoa! Another post already? I know, but I’ve got gobs of stories waiting to get written up.

Remember that time I elbowed Her Royal Highness in the head right in front of her husband, the instructor? (Probably not, but that’s okay.) That incident didn’t go over well. “If she has bruises, that reflects poorly on me,” he said.

More recently I was caught slightly slapping Thoughtful One in the face.

“Slap his shoulders, not his face,” Instructor… instructed.

“He just has a perfectly slappable face,” I quipped.

“I don’t think so,” Instructor said. “I wouldn’t want to slap him in the face.”

“Me neither!” I blurted quickly as he walked away.

I later told HRH about this incident. She assured me Instructor knew I was being sarcastic as he is too. I had yet to see that play out.

Instructor doing something to me.
Read the rest of this entry →
Aug23

Saturday morning Jiu-Jitsu

Posted on by
Standard
Saturday morning Jiu-Jitsu
Her Royal Highness (HRH) letting me know I’d be flying solo.

She kept me company while I got ready for class then…

Read the rest of this entry →
Aug18

Much ado about writing

Posted on by
Standard
Much ado about writing

My apologies to those who are only into this blog for the Jiu-Jitsu, all two of you.

I’m finally breathing again now that I’ve turned in my final draft of Wish YOU Were Here, the sequel to Wish I Was Here. I’ve also been sewing together pieces of Book 3, Wish We Weren’t Here, and reviewing audiobook drafts of Book 1.

I had plenty of time to work on Book 2 and wasn’t stressing it much, thinking it would be a cinch. But when it comes to editing, knowledge isn’t power, it’s added frustration.

Some things are simple to correct. You don’t need “very,” “really,” “even,” just,” and oftentimes “that.” I eliminated those. They are just really very much unneeded. I’m not sure how they got in there in the first place, aside from me writing like a normal human.

Same goes for filler words such as, “There was/were” and “It was/were.” An example: “There was no one around” becomes “No one was around.”

Another tip: You don’t need “and then.” One or the other will do.

Read the rest of this entry →
Aug1

And so it happened

Posted on by
Standard

We knew the day was coming, but knowing in advance didn’t make its arrival any easier.

The New Girls, Blonde and Brunette, officially joined Master Cycle. That meant Instructor split Her Royal Highness and me up to partner with the lower belts.

That I should be considered a “higher belt” is ironic, but here we are.

I was with Brunette for what was her first MC class, and it went fine, from my perspective. The challenges are old hat to me, but later I got a text from her saying she wanted to cry after class.

And so I talked her down, much like HRH had done for me, telling her it would all be okay, eventually.

Being the elegant lady that I am, I described it thus: “I know it’s rough going from top dog in Combatives to little puppy not yet potty trained in Master Cycle” and explained it’s tough for all of us, but everyone is so kind and helpful.

And so the Ilsa has become the HRH, though I don’t think Her Royal Highness has ever wet the mat.
Read the rest of this entry →
Jul28

Back to our regularly scheduled program

Posted on by
Standard
Back to our regularly scheduled program

In other words, I went back to Jiu-Jitsu Saturday morning after my surgery on Monday. The doctor had warned, “Nothing more than a stationary bike. Don’t get your blood pressure up.”

I don’t have a stationary bike, so I basically got slothful for several days. Feeling my muscles shrink and my stomach sag, I at least did a set of push-ups Friday. My nose throbbed afterward, however.

Oh well. It’s been too long since I’d Jiu-Jitsued it up, so I donned my gi and fresh nose Band-Aids and headed to the mixed beginner (Combatives) and advanced (Master Cycle) class.

Read the rest of this entry →
Jul23

Ilsa gets a nose job

Posted on by
Standard
Ilsa gets a nose job

I had basal cell carcinoma on the side of my nose, which required Moh’s surgery, where they slice it out layer by layer, taking 60-90 minutes between cuts to biopsy what they removed until the tumor is gone. I knew this would be a long day, so I packed food, water, and my laptop, looking forward to a quiet writing retreat.

Here’s what actually happened.

Read the rest of this entry →
Jul19

It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

Posted on by
Standard
It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

Surfer Dude stories! (I can hear your applause from here.)

Instructor and HRH were on a family camping trip one Saturday morning, so Surfer Dude (SD) taught Jiu-Jitsu. Toward the end, Smiley Guy asked SD what to do if someone gets their head out from under your leg (#onlyinJiuJitsu). SD showed it once, but class was over, so we didn’t practice that.

Rolling time, and I was with SD. At one point, he pushed my leg off from over his head, so I immediately pressed his chest back down with my other thigh, as he’d just shown.

“Oh-ho!” he said, eyebrows raised.

Later, I was standing, pondering how to get past his legs as he was in what I’ll call dead-bug position. Suddenly, his face brightened (uh-oh), he sat up, and pushed me over backward.

“Hey! That’s cheating,” I said. We both laughed. The timer rang, and he fist bumped me. “Good job,” he said.

I was practicing another day with SD when he said something along the lines of, “You can’t keep a good man down.”

“Oh, so since you just got out from the bottom of my side mount, you’re a good man, huh?” I said.

“I didn’t even think of that. You’re the one who made the connection.”

“Oooh, look at me. I’m Surfer Dude. I’m so great,” I said in my most obnoxious voice.

“Is that what I sound like in your head?”

Read the rest of this entry →