Tag Archives: Health

May30

Here’s something I didn’t tell you

Posted on May 30, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

Remember that time I got dressed up to meet Sensei at the library for zucchini? It wasn’t just for zucchini. We were plotting and scheming a Taekwondo class at my kids’ school.

Here’s the thing: everyone in my family is a Taekwondo black belt except Little Joe. That makes me sad for him. When my daughters and I did Taekwondo, we were Sensei’s last students before he essentially retired.

I’d like to argue that, since the very last black belt he handed out was to me, he broke the mold. How could anyone top that? But I pulled him out of retirement to help me start this class.

As a quick refresher of my post, Because I go to stupid lengths for humor, I had decided to forgo my usual ratty clothes by wearing my fanciest dress for a library meeting. At our next meeting, Sensei, who likewise typically arrives in the same red sweat pants and yellow or blue T-shirt, attempted to show me up.

Sensei dressed up. And he brought more zucchini. Of course.

Read the rest of this entry →

Jan31

Will she or won’t she?

Posted on January 31, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

Standard

I had had two short nights of sleep in a row, finally falling into bed late Friday night after this cool candlelight concert of 90s music performed by a string quartet.

They took the candlelight thing very seriously. This isn’t even half of them. They were everywhere.

You can sort of see the chairs where the four musicians sat. The show was great. I’ll never hear “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana or “Enter Sandman” by Metallica quite the same again.

So back to crashing into bed Friday night: Hubby asked if he should wake me for 8:30 Jiu-Jitsu class the next morning.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe my body needs sleep. If I don’t wake up in time, leave me be.”

Did I wake up in time?

Read the rest of this entry →

Mar2

You should see the other guy

Posted on March 2, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

Standard

Given that our recent focus in Jiu-Jitsu has been all things lower extremities: heel hooks, ankle locks, knee bars, and now toe holds, I’m not surprised by how colorful my skin has become from the knee down. This adds to the near-omnipresent arm bruises.

But one night before class, I considered how cool it would be to have a black eye. I’m all about new experiences; why not this one? I’ve thought this a handful of times, so the only reason it’s unique now, is that I sort of got my wish.

Read the rest of this entry →

Feb6

The funny parts

Posted on February 6, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

Standard

My Jiu-Jitsu Instructor asked if anyone had a question. I raised my hand and asked if you could sneak a choke in from North/South when someone was turtling. (You follow all that?) “Money” was nearest, so Instructor demonstrated on him.

When he asked if there were any more questions, I asked what to do if the person’s turtle is so tight you can’t slip an arm in.

So, Instructor demonstrated with Money again, break dancing on top of him before ultimately sneaking in the choke. Meanwhile, Money’s getting his rear repeatedly handed to him.

“Any other questions?”

“I’m trying to think of one just so I can see you mess with Money some more,” I said.

He laughed. Money looked at me and laughed too. Then Instructor turned to him and said, “Next time I’ll demo with her and let you watch.”