Remember that time I got dressed up to meet Sensei at the library for zucchini? It wasn’t just for zucchini. We were plotting and scheming a Taekwondo class at my kids’ school.

Here’s the thing: everyone in my family is a Taekwondo black belt except Little Joe. That makes me sad for him. When my daughters and I did Taekwondo, we were Sensei’s last students before he essentially retired.

I’d like to argue that, since the very last black belt he handed out was to me, he broke the mold. How could anyone top that? But I pulled him out of retirement to help me start this class.

As a quick refresher of my post, Because I go to stupid lengths for humor, I had decided to forgo my usual ratty clothes by wearing my fanciest dress for a library meeting. At our next meeting, Sensei, who likewise typically arrives in the same red sweat pants and yellow or blue T-shirt, attempted to show me up.

I had considered he might do this, so I didn’t laugh. He also didn’t laugh when I was all dolled up, but he told me Mrs. Sensei did when he relayed the story. Likewise, when I told Hubby about the above, he laughed.

At least our efforts entertained each other’s spouses.

He also drove his fancy one-of-only-30-or-something-or-other Acuras designed by some race car driver. I don’t know. You can Google it. I wasn’t paying that close attention. [I wrote that to make Mrs. Sensei laugh, if she reads this, and Sensei scowl, if he reads this.]

Being the punk that I am, I first said, “What, no tie?” He said, “I knew you were going to say that.” I didn’t go so far as to put on lipstick for him, so I guess we’re even. He removed the suit jacket with relief once I got through the business of taking pictures for the blog. Apparently, we’ll both go to extra lengths for you guys.

I brought Sensei on for Taekwondo because I didn’t trust my ability to teach it on my own.

At least Sensei got one more crack in because after the first semester, I said, “I’ve got this now. You can go back to your day job.” I realized I could totally do this, and I imagine he didn’t mind not having to drive all the way out to my kids’ school on Friday afternoons.

I added relay races, which the kids loved. I sneakily began teaching them the form they needed to learn by doing the moves as warm up drills–making the form easier to nail down later on. And we occasionally played “Sensei Says” instead of Simon Says to get them practicing different blocks, kicks, etc.

In other words…

Much like the girls’ self-defense summer camp, teaching these kids has been a joy, despite the many third grade boys. The nose picking and arm-pit farting wasn’t something I’d dealt with while teaching the girls. Imagine that. But I have whipped these kids into more mature, appropriate shape.

One parent, observing from the back, said to Hubby, “It looks like she’s training a school army.” Thank you, kind sir.

At the end of the school year, I felt oddly jittery on testing day, remembering how incredibly stressed I was for testing, especially the first one. It was weird to be on the other end of that for a change, but it made me sympathetic to the shy, nervous kids.

I tried to remain neutral for each student, just saying, “Thank you. You may be seated,” as they finished. However, one kid blew me away with how well he did, so I inadvertently clapped for him. Oops.

So I’m happy to announce my first wave of orange belt students. I can’t show pictures of minors, so this image will have to do.

Handing these out was a proud moment for me. One mom told me how much her son enjoys the class, adding that he’s a shy kid, so this has boosted his confidence. (This was the kid who did so well.) Another mom said her kids love the class because they love me. Awwhh!

Unlike when I was a student, I did not require these kids to bring food for the belt ceremony. I had enough sympathy jitters for testing. I can’t imagine the vicarious anguish I’d have for their baking trials. (If you’ve been reading me long enough, you know.)

So, one year down, and hopefully more to go.

Last Q: Not only does this group with a number-three hit in 1999 like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch, but Chinese food makes them sick. A: LFO

I hadn’t heard that song, so I looked it up. Talk about sticking in your mind. I had a hard time shaking that one out.

New Q: What is the capital of Bangladesh?