Y’all remember how I used to frequently find zucchini on my windshield after Taekwondo? There was also that one library incident.
Since I don’t see Sensei any more, the zucchini well has dried.
Or has it?
Like all great stories, this one begins and ends with zucchini.
Here’s what happened.
As planned, I made [read: commissioned Baking Daughter to make] muffins with the zucchini from the Senseis’ bounteous garden. I showed Sensei:
Sensei said, “Want to make a trade??? You need raw materials, I need finished goods.”
Cover me.
I’m going under cover.
Cover your mouth when you sneeze?
Okay, fine. I was trying to be unique and not do the standard announcement, but…
Here are some follow-ups to previous posts.
After the one about Mrs. Instructor, she let me know she hasn’t subscribed to my blog because
Awwwhhhh… My very own stalker. Just what I always wanted.
After my Sensei goes to Singapore post, (dang, I should’ve called it that!) Ju-Lyn and I were talking about the visit. I wrote:
When Sensei mentioned he was going to Singapore for work, I responded:
Ha. Yeah right. Crazy. Buuuutttt…
I have old stories I haven’t yet shared, so I must take you back to my Combatives class days for a moment. Please forgive the timeline whiplash.
Instructor is quite funny, seemingly without even trying. For instance: “If you need to take someone down, be careful of what’s behind him. You don’t want to land in the street or on a baby stroller, or koala, or a cat. Be aware of your surroundings.”
I leaned to the woman next me. “Did he say koala?”
“Yeah, I think so,” she said, equally befuddled.
He weaves stuff like this in seamlessly.
Another thing he does is explain a move then ask Surfer Dude if he has anything to add. Since I was often demo partner in SD’s absence, I mentioned to Sensei that my new life goal was to be asked if I had anything to add.
Sensei responded with a characteristic insult. My first clue it was coming was when he opened his mouth. I, however, saw this as an excellent opportunity to make my first class joke.
Yet another previously written post, but I had good reason to delay publishing.
The writing was slowly appearing on the wall. The beginner Jiu-Jitsu class was becoming too basic. I’d lingered longer than a normal person would because I wanted to soak up every last detail.
Then when a student I’d been helping when he was relatively new earned his fourth stripe, I knew I had overstayed my welcome.
With this new resolve, after class one day, I approached Instructor.
“When do you think I’ll be ready to test?” I asked.
He looked down, thoughtful, then turned to his brother.
Surfer Dude looked at me. “Now?”
I rapid fire blinked at him.
“Yeah, do you want to do it now?” Instructor asked.
“What? Uhhh.” I had not expected this response, and I was not prepared to test on the spot.
“Do you want to watch the demo videos first?” SD asked and suggested I print the test pages which list the moves for each of the four main drills.
I agreed with this plan and left in a daze.
Having made the decision to test, I needed to prepare. The best person to help me was someone who knew enough Jiu-Jitsu to be a knowledgeable “bad guy.”
Recapping again: I got off track with my Tae Kwon Do belts when I busted my foot, ankle, and (later discovered) tibia at the end of September. Pretty much recovered, I got another belt (then only one behind my daughters) and was going to be fully caught up at the beginning of May except for tearing two ligaments and bruising two bone plates in my knee two days beforehand. (When I texted Sensei from urgent care telling him no belt testing for me, he didn’t believe me until I sent him a pic of my braced-up knee in a wheelchair.)
So, last week, when I finally FINALLY tested for red/black belt, it was kind of a big deal.
Some of you may recall that the pressure of testing tends to get to me a wee bit. For instance, Sensei has said not to do the forms too quickly because I want to show off that I know each move.
Yeah, so much for that. I moved like I was being chased by a ravenous lion and the only way to keep from being eaten was to distract him by my weird, confusing, albeit somewhat impressive he’s thinking, movements.
Another fun part was, though my girls were doing the forms with me, I knew full well I was the only one being watched, as I was the only one being tested. Normally, two people test at a time, and whenever I’ve messed up, I can tell myself, “Sensei was watching the other person at that particular moment.”
I’m not above lying to myself to get through these things.
My starting position was such that I wound up moving to mere feet from Sensei as I made my one and only major flub–probably because I was aware that he was Right. There.
Groan.
I seriously considered
Physical therapy for my knee injury went well. It was helpful, but I ran out of sessions before getting to complete mobility. I’m on my own now.
I said my thanks and goodbyes, as I genuinely liked the people at this place. They were amiable and fun to chat with, to the point where I felt we were truly becoming friends.
And I enjoy being friendly and nice to people. I also enjoy the thought of beating someone up.
Humans are complicated beings.
The person I’d most like to show-what-for is, of course, Sensei. Because he’s always got it coming.
But first, the test. As always, I messed a couple things up because testing makes me nervous, but I recovered quickly and my flubs may have gone unnoticed. Also, I got to do this:
My daughter videoed this for me. I sent it to my mom and then to Sensei noting that I wasn’t too old to proudly show my mommy my board break. He responded:
The girls’ red belts are beautiful. Hopefully I’ll get mine soon. That test requires kicking a board, so… yeah. Hopefully I don’t injure my good foot. But also, whatever. At this point, I no longer care.
I just hope the board doesn’t look like this:
Writing and Martial Arts 