Jul19

It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

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It’s been far too long since I’ve given you…

Surfer Dude stories! (I can hear your applause from here.)

Instructor and HRH were on a family camping trip one Saturday morning, so Surfer Dude (SD) taught Jiu-Jitsu. Toward the end, Smiley Guy asked SD what to do if someone gets their head out from under your leg (#onlyinJiuJitsu). SD showed it once, but class was over, so we didn’t practice that.

Rolling time, and I was with SD. At one point, he pushed my leg off from over his head, so I immediately pressed his chest back down with my other thigh, as he’d just shown.

“Oh-ho!” he said, eyebrows raised.

Later, I was standing, pondering how to get past his legs as he was in what I’ll call dead-bug position. Suddenly, his face brightened (uh-oh), he sat up, and pushed me over backward.

“Hey! That’s cheating,” I said. We both laughed. The timer rang, and he fist bumped me. “Good job,” he said.

I was practicing another day with SD when he said something along the lines of, “You can’t keep a good man down.”

“Oh, so since you just got out from the bottom of my side mount, you’re a good man, huh?” I said.

“I didn’t even think of that. You’re the one who made the connection.”

“Oooh, look at me. I’m Surfer Dude. I’m so great,” I said in my most obnoxious voice.

“Is that what I sound like in your head?”

Well, no, but at least he was entertained.

He later added a head over feet roll to punctuate the end of a move.

“Do I need to finish with a roll, too?” I asked.

“Sure. Bonus points if you do.”

So, instead, of rolling the way he did, I hotdog bun style rolled away–if you can picture that.

“How was that roll?” I asked.

“Ten out of ten,” he said.

I hope my entertainment value makes up for how lousy I often feel I do in Jiu-Jitsu. I especially feel this at end-of-class sparring time with SD (opening story not withstanding). Remember when I just bounced off him and landed on the ground? That was embarrassing. I really ought to have taken him down.

I considered trying to avoid rolling with him to save myself more embarrassment. Not only do I have a blue belt, I also have a stripe on it now. SD might feel I’m not living up to it.

Oh, yeah. I didn’t tell you about that yet.

I knew this day was coming because I had filled up my first blue attendance card. (My new card has maybe seven Xs on it. Such a wide open field of empty boxes to fill. Ugh. It takes about eight months. Then you get another stripe.)

The night I got my first stripe I, of course, wanted pictures–goofy pictures–the only kind worth getting. Here was the progression of that process, with Her Royal Highness assisting:

Me: Think you can pick me up like this? Her, walking behind me: You mean like a trust fall?
No, I meant like this. Yes, she could. But then…
Hey! Of course she had to fake drop me on my head. I would expect nothing less from her.

But back to Surfer Dude

The next class after this, SD came in a few minutes late, so all heads turned as he opened the door just as a motorcycle roared somewhere behind him.

“Is that the soundtrack for you every time you enter a building?” I asked.

Broad smile. “Yeah, it should be.”

At the end of regular class, I was sitting on Instructor’s stomach, as one does (#onlyinJiuJitsu) to start our sparring/rolling turn, but he first asked, “How are you?”

“Good! I have a stripe now.”

“I know. I’m excited for you.”

“I’m excited for me too.”

Then I proceeded to not remember the most basic of things. He had to walk me through stuff I most definitely should have known.

Then it was time to change partners. Instructor asked Pirate to roll with me. Then he looked to me with eyebrows raised. I nodded: Yes, I’m fine with that. Thanks for checking. (Reminder: Pirate’s the biggest dude, but he’s good to work with. I probably serve as the warm-up or cool-down portion of his workout routine.)

I did fine rolling with him, I think. Then SD said, “Want to go?”

Oh dear. I couldn’t say no. But then something miraculous happened. I took what I had just learned from Instructor and applied it on SD. I started by sneak attack neck hugging him with my arm and isolating his wrist with my other hand.

“Whoa. There’s one-stripe Ilsa. I won’t let you get that on me again.”

After that I was fairly typical me.

I should care more that Instructor sees how lousy I am, but he’s the kindest, most patient instructor. Plus, he’s just used to me.

“Do you remember this?” he asked me another night.

“Uh, yes,” I said.

“Do you?” he asked.

“No,” I admitted. 😛 He retaught me, and hopefully it will stick a little better this time around. (The info comes at us like a fire hose, so it’s not just me. Well, not entirely just me.)

But the best part about that night was Instructor sitting down after this and telling me a story about one of his rolling experiences. The guy can’t dislike me or be super annoyed by my inabilities if he takes the time to chat and tell me a story. That was reassuring. I may suck at this, but I’m still likable.

Every girl’s gotta have something going for her.

The show Revenge took place in The Hamptons on Long Island, NY. Andrew still knew it. That dude’s impossible to stump.

New Q: In cricket, how many balls are delivered by the bowler per over? (Hint: the answer is a number, so have a guess.)

I, for one, don’t even understand the question. Sounds like a game people play in The Hamptons. If your area starts with The, I can’t afford to live there.

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42 responses »

  2. I love the power of the story. In fact, if you can tell a good story, you might not need to ever use Jiu-Jitsu, right? Love your JJ friends that are practically family now!!

    And cricket must be the toughest sport to understand. I have no idea…about any of it!

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  3. I don’t even understand the question. Sounds like a game people play in The Hamptons. If your area starts with The, I can’t afford to live there.

    Man, I totally identify with those statements. Keeping it real! That’s why I read this blog 😀

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  4. I bet you’re better at Jiu-Jitsu than I am. I mean, they be calling ambulances for me if I tried.

    and cricket … no idea … I could look it up, but the main point I’ve learned about cricket is it’s a very long game and you get to drink beer for the whole game. Overs, balls, bats … who cares, if they’re still playing I’ll have another pint.

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  7. Always enjoy the stories of your Jiu-Jitsu training but I don’t believe you are as bad at it as you claim to be. But it’s fun. The answer to the question, “In cricket, how many balls are delivered by the bowler per over?” has to be 42.

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  10. As you were telling your SD story I was thinking, “I could really use a video here”. Especially when you described yourself as a hot dog bun. And speaking of that, you said, “I hotdog bun style rolled…” followed by “How was that roll?” LOL, because you had me thinking about lunch way more than Jiu-Jitsu moves. As for the trivia I’m going with three, but only because I associate cricket with baseball. No matter the answer I’ll forget it and move on with life. Kind of like everything I learned about soccer during the World Cup 🙂

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    • Thank you for at least guessing the trivia. You are the first and may win by default for being closest. My posts make people hungry, don’t they? BUT, could you picture the sort of roll I meant?

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  12. Okay. I’m totally stuck on this:
    “I hotdog bun style rolled away–if you can picture that.”
    Nope…not even a bit. You’ll need to describe! Or provide photo/video footage! LOL! 😜😜😜

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