That’s No. 1 on the list of Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids.
But that’s what happens when you return to your writing desk and find this:
It’s one of those jointed plastic snakes that wriggle and turn. The kind of cheap prize you get at kid’s carnival games (which is where I’m pretty sure this came from).
At any rate, one of my daughters called from the other room to announce that she’d found Read the rest of this entry
Here’s what happened:
Our Aristocats book was lightly scribbled in by one of my daughters years ago, like so:
When Joe asked about it, I told him his sister had done it. The next day, I discovered more scribbles, like so:
“Joe, did you scribble in this book?” Parenting note: I already knew the answer to this question, so I shouldn’t have worded it in such a way that would encourage him to lie. Nevertheless, it was the first shocked response to come out of me.
He responded: “No.”
“Oh really?” I said. “Then who did?”
“My sister.”
“Your sister is old enough now to know better. I know you did this, Joe. Would you please say, ‘I’m sorry I colored in the book'”? Read the rest of this entry
Recent conversation with a friend:
Out of energy, I flopped myself down on the couch. Of course, that’s about when my son woke up from his nap. One of the older children retrieved him from his crib, and he found me.
Rather than demand I get up and play with him, he gave me a stuffed kitten and laid his beloved blankie across my back.
“Should I read you a story?” he asked.
“Yes, please,” I said.
He grabbed the book, Dear Zoo, and read it quite well from memory.
“Would you like a song now?” he asked. Read the rest of this entry
I’d feel a little guilty posting my usual silly home life stuff in light of all the insanity facing our world.
So, instead, I’ll just make light of all the insanity facing our world!
I’ve seen so many funny memes about COVID19. You’ve probably seen some too. But not all of them! So here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!
Let me know which ones particularly got you smiling. 🙂
Exhibit A: Fried Pickles
Fried pickles
When I saw the words “fried pickles,” I set my menu down. No need to check the other options, thanks to Mark’s praise of fried pickles on his blog, Swinged Cat. I’d already eaten and just needed a little something, so this hit the spot. Fried with cajun seasonings and dipped in ranch dressing, they were so delicious. Thanks for that tip, Mark!
Exhibit B: Read the rest of this entry
The neighborhood cat will take notice.
Note cat paw in upper right corner.
If the neighborhood cat takes notice, he’ll want to become your cat.
If the cat wants to become your cat, your kids will gladly accept.
If you continue to leave your door open, a bird will fly inside. Read the rest of this entry
Joe was in his high chair. Not eating. I told him to take a bite. He leaned his head against the back of his chair, closed his eyes, and faked heavy sleep breathing.
First of all, when and how did he learn this?!
I said, “Should I take you to bed then?”
Still with his eyes closed, he lifted his pointer finger as in “one minute.”
Seriously, kid? So much for being asleep.
Delicious looking plate of green beans. That I didn’t cook, hence looking delicious. Image by Vu DOAN from Pixabay
~~~
When my parents were here for Christmas, Joe said, “I don’t need these green beans.”
My mom, trying to be helpful, said, “Green beans are my favorite!”
Joe said, “You can eat them then.”
~~~
Joe loves going outside. The problem is, Read the rest of this entry
I recently started taking Chex Mix with me to parties–a sure fire way of being invited back. Since there were a lot of parties for the holidays, I ran out and hit my local store to replenish my supplies. The Chex Mix Guy (CMG) had ordered a box of both Cheddar and Honey Nut for me back in October, housing them in his office, while I slowly chipped away at them.
Crying Chex Mix
Amidst the regular shopping I did first, I glanced down at the Chex Mix shelf and saw, amongst the black and blue of Bold and Boring (aka Traditional) the golden hues of my sacred flavors.
Betrayal!
I marched to the customer service desk and asked the lady to call CMG’s office. She got him on the phone and relayed the message: “A customer wants to know if you put out all of her Chex Mix.”
Here I’m grinning stupidly, thinking this must be one of the most bizarre statements this woman has ever made. That, and I’m imagining what CMG’s reaction must be.
After a pause, she says, “Okay,” hangs up, and tells me, “He’ll be right down.” Read the rest of this entry
Awful or awfully funny? You decide. Let me know in the comments.
We had guests over Sunday afternoon. One graciously explained to us about different phone plans. And providers. And phones themselves. And frequencies. And something about company buyouts. Plus a lot of numbers were being bandied about.
In other words, I was completely lost by about the third sentence. Maybe second.
Meanwhile, my children sat in the room with us listening patiently. Or so I thought.
When the dear fellow was finished downloading us with all this information, my youngest daughter said, “Finally. I wondered if he was breathing between words.”
I’m not sure if any of the adults in the room have laughed that hard in a long time.
Queen of spades courtesy of pixabay.
Except perhaps when we were playing the card game Tripoli and another daughter, not well-versed in the various suit names, laid down “the queen of hoes.”
After drying our eyes on our sleeves, we informed her that it is actually called the queen of spades.
Of course we try to teach our children manners.
Little Joe asked me for a bagel.
“Did you say, please?” I asked him pointedly. Read the rest of this entry
