Oct8

Maybe I’m not okay after all…

Posted on by
Standard
Maybe I’m not okay after all…

I showed up to school Monday morning like this:

I didn’t notice I was wearing two different shoes until I stepped out of my car in the school parking lot. In the kitchen, I pointed out my flub to a couple of female teachers who laughed with me. Then I went to Hubby’s office and said, “Look at my feet.” His eyes bugged out. “Oh no!” he said. He did not see the humor in this situation.

Thankfully, I had a daughter at home with a license and a car. In the midst of first period, Hubby stepped into my classroom with a bag. I discreetly made the shoe transfer under the teacher’s desk. However, I had already greeted all the sixth graders as they walked in. Wouldn’t you know it, one was observant.

“Why are you wearing two different shoes?” she asked, the plucky little…

“Because it’s Wacky Wednesday… on Monday.” That actually seemed to satisfy her.

The sixth graders weren’t easy for me Monday, particularly the one kid the homeroom teacher had wisely placed front and center. So Tuesday morning, I got smart. (Slow learning curve for me.) At the start of class, I set a detention slip on his desk and said, “Why don’t you go ahead and fill your name in now to save me time later.”

Amazingly, with that slip sitting on the corner of his desk all day, he was a perfect angel!

The kid in the back corner kept talking to his neighbor, so I asked him to stand up. Then I dragged his desk to the front corner of the room where he wouldn’t be distracted. He got his work done.

I collected their notes, telling them on the fly that there would be a prize for the nicest, neatest notes with proper heading and in cursive, yes, cursive. By the next period, I had candy, courtesy of the dish in Hubby’s office, and awarded it to the best paper, which belonged to a very pleased young man.

I gave a prize for notes in the next class too. Suddenly, the students were making sure they took good notes in beautiful handwriting, even asking me to please collect them.

Just don’t ask how things went with the 8th grade. Okay, I’ll tell you anyway. There’s something about this grade. I had given up on last year’s 8th grade saying, “I’m not subbing them again.” Last year’s 7th graders were my darlings.

But now they’re 8th graders. Sigh. I still love them and told them so but asked, “What happened? You guys were so good last year.”

“We’re a year older!” someone said.

The camaraderie in that class is really sweet. They’ve been together for a long time, and it shows. I just wish they’d shut up a little. I’m not sure bribing them with Story Time will even work anymore. Maybe I’ll try that with the new 7th grade.

I’ve also discovered that teaching is to parenting as subbing is to grandparenting.

When subbing, I collected homework and quizzes into stacks with binder clips and shoved them into the poor hapless teachers’ mailboxes, brushing my hands off and walking away whistling. Being a teacher, on the other hand means, shucks, these kids’ problems are now my problems, and dang it! I care about them!

I graded my first second grade science test. That’s where the reality of disparate learning levels hit me full in the face. Most kids did great, but three asked me for considerable help. It became clear their reading level isn’t on par with their peers, so I was going full speed we-need-to-fix-this-RIGHT-NOW before the procedure for helping students like this was explained and I was told (kindly, by Hubby) to slow my roll and let the process do its thing.

Now I’ve got to retest one kid orally while the rest of the class does a “Help the astronaut find his spaceship” maze. And this one’s a doozy. It took me a long time, but darn if that spaceship isn’t going to find itself.

Also, the silent cheering worked really well, Beth and TTA may be interested to know. 😉

After the whirlwind Monday and Tuesday of nearly every period being in a classroom from second to seniors, waking up Wednesday and not needing to go to school was a weight off–until I saw the stacked up regular day job emails in my inbox.

But things should slow down now. I’m not slated to sub for another two weeks, after which I’ll have two days in the 4th grade, my son’s class. I only embarrassed him a little last time, but because he’s somehow not a weird awkward kid despite being my child (he must take after his dad), he handled it well.

You know what I haven’t been doing in the midst of all this? Working on Book 3.

And speaking of, only my man Herb, newcomer Outrageous Monk who has yet to email me, and Ab in the great white north want an autographed copy of Book 2? Oh right, right, and HRH so she can add it to her “Ilsa Shrine.”

What about the rest of you? Are you indifferent to the misguided adventures and intrigue coming to Ana next? (If not, let me know.)

I got some great responses to the question of what Her Royal Highness got me for my birthday. I told Mark, “I hope she’s reading the comments.” Turns out, she was:

Other guesses/suggestions included:

  • a customized tote bag or blanket with a funny memory printed on it.
  • a personalized mug that somehow incorporated an inside joke that only the two of you would get and would seem innocuous to the rest of us. (Herb, who suggested this one, has no idea how dangerous it is. My kids would definitely wonder why I had a mug that read: “Screw the bootch” and “Thumb up the butt” and “Take your pants off”–all said as shorthand in our drill sessions together but, out of context, would definitely not be okay. HRH, DO NOT WRITE THESE DOWN!)
  • refrigerator magnets or those things you can stick on cars that aren’t permanent stickers (decals).

The winner is…

Refrigerator magnets! Well done, Beth! (I had told HRH she should burn that top left image, yet here we are.)

New Q: Although once legal, the “fake to third, throw to first pickoff” move has since 2013 been classified as what?

Discover more from Writing and Martial Arts

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

68 responses »

  1. Kids, right? One year they are lovable scamps, the next, surly silent lumps that grunt at you. I’m sure you wish those 8th graders would BE silent, amiright?

    Do baseball related questions count as real questions? Because who even watches baseball anymore? I think you should take a poll about who cares about baseball, who is apathetic about baseball and who thinks baseball is one step up from cutting your toenails on a Saturday night.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • If they were silent, that would be amazing. They’re happy, at least. Perhaps happy and boisterous is better than unhappy and silent? Hmm. Tough call. 😛

      That is a rather descriptive last sentence. Haha. Yeah, I think I’d prefer getting the nail cutting task done, followed by some other mundane but necessary task, to wasting time watching sports, any sports. But that’s me.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  4. Actually, wacky Wednesday on Monday makes some sense — even to me. You could have just said it’s a new fashion, mismatched shoes. I’ve believed that. For a few years my grandkids always wore mismatched socks everywhere. They thought it was cool.

    and isn’t that the best part of being a grandparent — you can just send ’em home when it’s not being fun anymore. In fact it was the biggest threat that worked to control the grandkids when they were visiting without parents (and grandkids are always best without the parents around). If one or two got cranky, snarky or not wanted to follow grandma’s rules I’d just say something like, “You don’t seem like you’re enjoying yourself, should I take you home?”

    and presto, happy compliant children who did everything we said.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply ↓

  5. i truly think we are separated twins. i had stuff like this happen to me while teaching ‘more than once and the librarian took it upon herself to be my fashion backup person. i appreciated her. i once had one blue and one brown shoe (same style, not my fault i had to get up when still dark outside and commute!), also a skirt that i realized was see-through when i got out in the sun on the playground, conferences with a mascara smudge, etc. love how you’ve moved into an offense approach instead of defense, being proactive is much better than having to be reactive. love your strategies, and of course they’ll be a moving target so you’ll learn as you go. p.s. huge huge silent clap for my win, not bragging, but i guess i am -)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply ↓

    • Your shoe thing sounds familiar. Did you blog about that? We are kindred spirits ala Anne of Green Gables and Diana Berry. I, however, left in full daylight, so I don’t know what my problem was. I was just being me, and me is a mess, so… Do we really have anyone to blame for that? I had major eyeliner smears after a JJ class when I went to the grocery store. I didn’t know why people were looking at me funny until I got home.

      I will learn as I go–yes. I’m definitely learning. Perhaps I’ll eventually learn the secret sauce for this year’s 8th grade too.

      I just silently cheered for you–literally. 😛

      Like

      Reply ↓

  7. I’m silent cheering for you right now. Can you tell?
    Ugh. Middle schoolers. No thank you. It’s interesting how they “graduate” from sweeties to little, uh, not sweeties, isn’t it?
    Way to take charge of those behavior situations, by the way!
    As for the question, all I can say is, “that’s something to do with baseball.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  9. The pic on the top left is the best one! On the new trivia, I could figure out it was a baseball thing but had to ask The Google, so I can’t answer. As far as teaching goes, I have a daughter that taught 4th and 5th graders and another daughter who got her degree in Early Childhood Education, so I’ve been exposed to it. During Covid my daughter taught remotely from our house (We had to up our internet package to help her out) and it was interesting. I’ve only ever been a Sunday School teacher which is a totally different set of challenges and rewards. I have a meme, which I can’t find right now but have probably posted before, that says, “Imagine if a teacher got a diamond ring every year for doing a good job and professional football players had to buy their own footballs.”

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply ↓

  13. Oh book 3 will come. Sometime it’s good to step away. Maybe you’ll see something subbing that you’ll want to include in book 3. Hmm, or better yet, you tell your students that whoever behaves, studies well, and does the best on the next test — you’ll use their name in book 3. They’ll be a hero that comes and saves the day. I bet everyone will be on their best behavior. Good old bribery!!! 🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  14. ILLEGAL. Duh! (Actually, some of us do watch baseball…especially when your team finishes with the best record in the majors. Go, Brewers! I believe that illegal move is called a BALK.)

    And now, I’m hoping HRH will still give you the hoodie with a picture of you two goofing off–but it’s gotta say “Take Off Your Pants” on the back! And I want an autographed copy of that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • If you get the sweatshirt, I don’t want an email detailing your difficulty putting it on and Tara’s comments in that regard like with the tattoo! 😛

      You win the trivia! And guess what? You know who didn’t answer it this time! That giant brain of his apparently doesn’t know baseball. Also, congrats to your team!

      Like

      Reply ↓

  18. Now you’re asking sports trivia? I’m about as good at that as movie trivia. I’ve heard of people wearing two different shoes and it sort of blows my mind, but since they were slip ons and you didn’t need to look down, I guess it could happen easily.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  20. Sounds like you’re settling into your routines – and I love by how you put that kid on notice with the detention slip!

    Does your husband work at the school too? If so, that’s very interesting – and nice to have them so close to you!

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • Yes, Hubby works there too and is the master of all things teaching and discipline. It’s super handy to have him around. (Although the detention slip thing was still my idea. 😉 )

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

Share what you think of this story, or share one of your own!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.