Mar16

It was my worst Jiu-Jitsu class ever…

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It was my worst Jiu-Jitsu class ever…

First, I got reprimanded for inadvertently insulting Balloon Man. When I lifted my head to explain, Instructor pushed it back down, silently saying, “Stop talking; do the move.” But at least, from what I glimpsed, Balloon Man did not appear insulted.

Nevertheless, I needed to keep mentally changing the subject afterward because being reprimanded by Instructor, which has happened three times now, makes me want to cry. I hate disappointing him.

Then it was roll time, and Instructor and Balloon Man sat right next to Money and me. I can barely function when I know he’s watching. I even said, “Do you really have to sit right there watching?”

“Just roll,” he said.

I did okay, I guess, despite being told two or three times to get a neck hug and also to slow down and not move so fast.

Next he wanted me to roll with him. I started by saying, “I’m sorry I don’t do well with an audience.”

“Do you know how diamonds are formed?” he said.

“Under pressure,” I responded.

He said nothing more. It was go time. As we rolled, he told me to never again do a particular move. Then he told me I had kicked him in the head. I hadn’t even noticed. He said I need to pay more attention so he can be sure I’ll be safe to roll with lower belts.

Then he had me in a heel hook that he told me I needed to tap to if I didn’t know how to get out of it immediately. And when I tried to footlock him, he pointed out I had the wrong angle. And later again, I was already on my back so my heel hook wouldn’t work.

Batting 1,000 left and right.

Next he had me partner with Humble Man, who came into Master Cycle shortly after me. Once again, he sat mere feet away, intensely watching, this time with Pirate at his side.

I did my best to ignore them and functioned a little better than with Money. I got Humble One in a heel hook, at least. A minute later, I became so focused on swatting my hair out of my face, I was oblivious to what was happening with my other arm. By the time I noticed, Humble One had me wrapped up for an arm bar.

I laid back, free hand at the ready, and patiently awaited my fate. When he sunk the hold in, I tapped. Instructor called time.

“Great job, Humble One. Great job, Ilsa,” he said.

When I stood, Pirate momentarily cupped my shoulder. Commiseration? Silent support? I didn’t look at his face, so I’ll never know.

Through all this, I knew why Instructor was watching me so closely.

I was being tested.

And I was sure I was failing.

I took a quick water break while everyone else was on the mat, ready for the next round. Instructor came up to me. I braced for a scolding or further instruction for my many failings.

“You got one more in you?” he asked.

I nodded wearily.

He went off to roll with someone, so I was finally off his radar. I partnered with HRH and felt too horrible to try much. She submitted me, I think, four times. I mostly did nothing.

Finally, it was time to line back up on the wall. As he headed to the center of the mat, Instructor did his fun little hiccupy dance walk, where he bends a little extra at the knees with each step, something he does when he’s happy or excited.

He was carrying two clear-wrapped belts. Blue ones. He gave them a firm shake and the plastic wrap flew off.

What? This can’t be… And yet, who else here is eligible… With two of them, my odds…

I wasn’t willing to entertain the thought, and yet—

“Ilsa, Humble One, could you come up here?”

Stunned.

Humble One and I were standing next to each other at the end of the line. We hugged before walking up.

Instructor tied my belt on me and shook my hand. I said, “Thank you,” with sincere gratitude and amazement.

At the traditional fist bump to end class, where Instructor starts at the far end, fist bumps that student, who then follows behind him to fist bump everyone else–the third person following the second, etc.–rather than give us bumps, all the other students hugged Humble One and me instead.

Since we were the last two in line, we paused and looked at each other. Humble One said, “Well, one more?” And so we hugged again. It was fun to share this accomplishment together.

Back at the bench, Pirate said, “Man, what a journey. You got injured but you kept on fighting.”

Balloon Man and The Lawyer, sitting nearby, shared his sentiment. Of the students present, those three were the only ones who knew me from before, though Pirate and I met when he was a new student, and I came on crutches to watch the classes.

It’s a shame Thoughtful One wasn’t there this time, nor Surfer Dude. But that’s okay. For this belt, I only required one particular person to be present.

After taking the standard pics, HRH handed her phone to Instructor saying, “I need pictures with her too.”

I managed to smile for pictures with Instructor and my fellow new blue belt, but at this point, with my friend, after the intense emotional roller coaster I had been on for the last hour…

“Are you crying?!” she said.

I was. And I didn’t even care. It wasn’t a ton, just eyes welling up. There’s another picture where it’s more obvious, but I have too much self respect to make that horrible puffy-eyed photo public. (Trust me. It’s a doozy.)

I left at the same time as Pirate. As we headed in opposite directions across the parking lot, he called something to me.

“Watch out for snails??” I called back.

“You’re tough as nails, girl.”

“Oh! That makes much more sense.”

~~~

On that note, I’ll end, but stay tuned for what happened when I got home–Next time! On Writing and Martial Arts!

Last Q: At 7,541 pieces–plus ten minifigures–a model of the Millennium Falcon is one of LEGO’s largest-ever commercially sold sets. I looked it up. At LEGO.com, it sells for $850!

New Q: In 2002, Time magazine named this treat number one on its list of Top 10 Iconic Junk Foods.

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57 responses »

  3. I’ve heard those California snails are pretty mean. Probably sage advice to watch out for them. Congrats on the new belt! I feel like Instructor had that line about diamonds saved in his back pocket for just the right occasion.

    Liked by 1 person

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      • No and here’s why. I think your sensei (wrong name–sorry–I still think like shaolin kempo) respects you, knows you can take it, doesn’t coddle you. And I’ve seen you beat up, kicked around, bruised and bloodied in that dojo (wrong name again!). But I am excited and proud of your blue belt!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jacqui… you’re the best. Thank you for that new perspective. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

        Back in September he told me, “You’re awesome, and you’re one of my favorite students.” I need to remind myself of that every now and then.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations! 🎉 Oh and I know how awful it feels to be reprimanded in class. I’m absolutely the same. Not wanting to disappoint people who are important in your life, trying your best but it still doesn’t seem to be enough, feeling stupid because you just can’t do a technique that looks so deceptively easy… I suppose it happens to all of us. But anyway, the endig was great! 👍🏻😀

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  7. Oooph, I hate being put under pressure. I’d probably just turn on my heel and leave. I hate when other people try to manipulate me, even if I’ve voluntarily entered into the manipulation.

    As for the treat, I was just talking about this treat on my friday post. Good old twinkies 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Woohoo for you! So good…so good! I loved this, especially: “He said I need to pay more attention so he can be sure I’ll be safe to roll with lower belts.” Ah…luring you in…reminding you of your skills? What a sophisticated way of encouraging. I like it. 😉💕😉

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  13. So to summarize: You’re now a blue diamond. Just remember that it takes more heat and pressure to get to the next stage of daimondness … I hope that’s more encouraging than it sounds.

    And Twinkies — joy of my youth and guaranteed to outlast the next ice age. 10,000 years from now archaeologies will be debating the nature of our religions with Twinkies being offerings for the journey to the afterlife …

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. Congratulations on your blue belt! Your humbleness certainly comes through in your post – not wanting to disappoint, doing your best to do all moves correctly, working hard. I’m old enough to be your mother. I teared up a bit for you and your accomplishment. 🙂

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  18. I was commiserating with you for the first several paragraphs. I HATE being watched when I’m performing something. (This year was my “High Cycle” year, when my principal had to watch me teach – ugh.) But hey, it all worked out in the end. Congratulations, blue belt!!
    Trivia: it’s gotta be Oreos

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  19. Well I dunno. Sure you’re a badass martial arts mama, but the “Watch out for snails” advice seems pretty sound to me. Just saying you never know when good advice like that will come in handy. 😜

    Liked by 2 people

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  20. Oh congrats, Betsy! What an emotional ride you took us on with this post.

    I definitely know that sinking feeling of not wanting to disappoint someone you respect and look up to and how their disappointment can make you wanna cry.

    But like a diamond, you stuck through the pressure and emerged with a new blue belt. Congrats!!!

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  21. I wonder if this final hurdle towards blue belt was deliberate, designed to test your mental fortitude (not your physical). So many moments where you could’ve lost your composure, and then you wonder if the reward would’ve still been waiting. All props to you, Ilsa. This was a long journey and many enjoyable reads (but for heaven’s sake, now what do you do for an encore?) The trivia question prompts SO many possibilities, and “2002” doesn’t make it any easier. Rice Krispie Treats? I’m guessing I’ll find all sorts of junk food in the rest of the comments.

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    • The belt had been ordered in advance, I found out later. This was just a matter of making sure I deserved it. I don’t know if the mental pressure was intentional–probably not, just a bi-product of the process–but it was definitely there.

      What do I do next has been kind of on my mind, Dave. Maybe this is the perfect ending for the memoir I intend to write about my journey, but I’m not ready to quit Jiu-Jitsu yet.

      Rice Krispie Treats are definitely a worthy choice! I can’t help but wonder if maybe they’re #2. Should I spoil the answer for you, or do you want to wait until the next post and be surprised?

      Liked by 1 person

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