Tag Archives: martial arts

Feb16

Talking Music with Surfer Dude/Instructor the Mind Reader

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Talking Music with Surfer Dude/Instructor the Mind Reader
My neighbor, Subie, on left, Surfer Dude on right, saying, “Shout out to Ilsa’s blog readers!” [Not really, but how awesome would that have been?]

One night for rolls at Jiu-Jitsu, a song by Pierce the Veil called “Bulls in the Bronx” played. During a flamenco interlude, I couldn’t help but stop rolling with Surfer Dude to “dance” while kneeling. Not missing a beat, he pulled on a prim and proper face like a flamenco guitarist and pretended to play. It was priceless.

Back to rolling, which always involves laughter when I’m with SD (and most people, but especially SD), I said, “Maybe we’re just having too much fun,” a second before that line was sung.

He smiled and fist bumped me with our sparring gloves on.

Later, I was rolling with Balloon Man when “Ride the Lightning” by Metallica played. I ALMOST pulled the same stunt by telling Balloon Man (not going to abbreviate that one), “Now it’s time to die,” to align with the song.

I didn’t have the nerve. I told SD about it later. He said,

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Feb6

The funny parts

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The funny parts

My Jiu-Jitsu Instructor asked if anyone had a question. I raised my hand and asked if you could sneak a choke in from North/South when someone was turtling. (You follow all that?) “Money” was nearest, so Instructor demonstrated on him.

When he asked if there were any more questions, I asked what to do if the person’s turtle is so tight you can’t slip an arm in.

So, Instructor demonstrated with Money again, break dancing on top of him before ultimately sneaking in the choke. Meanwhile, Money’s getting his rear repeatedly handed to him.

“Any other questions?”

“I’m trying to think of one just so I can see you mess with Money some more,” I said.

He laughed. Money looked at me and laughed too. Then Instructor turned to him and said, “Next time I’ll demo with her and let you watch.”

To add a picture, here’s me taking this dude’s head off with my leg.

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Jan21

Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

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Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

It was time to roll. Instructor turned on music.

And I started dancing. 

Typically, for this to happen, I have to be very comfortable with the people around me. So me dancing at Jiu-Jitsu… What the heck was that?!

For starters, it was, at best, some weird kick thing reminiscent of Elaine from Seinfeld.

I was her stunt double for this scene.

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Dec10

Rolling with Surfer Dude

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Rolling with Surfer Dude

The class started, as usual, with Mrs. Instructor and me partnering together. Also, as usual, we struggled to remember the moves. I’m generally inclined to watch other groups and try to figure it out from them, but Mrs. Instructor is, for some strange reason, NOT afraid of the instructor, as though she’s perfectly comfortable with him or something.

“I’m raising my hand,” she said.

Fiiiiinnneee.

Instructor joined us, but then Surfer Dude (SD) arrived, so Instructor helped his wife and assigned SD to me. That was all good.

Then Instructor introduced our next move, a “bear roll.”

You reach one hand through the other person’s knees, the other hand under their back, grab their wrist with both hands, get a strong stance, bend, lift, flip. Voila!

I looked at SD with one eyebrow raised.

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Nov26

Fun with Photoshop

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Fun with Photoshop
Not photoshopped: Here I am with four of my Jiu-Jitsu friends at a going away party for Tess (middle).

Since Tess’s departure to the other side of the country, I’ve had a running gag going in our JJ Ladies text group, frequently implying that Tess will be present at whatever get-together we plan.

I’ll say things like, “Tess, when does your flight arrive? I’ll pick you up.”

I used it recently when trying to plan a karaoke night. When we moved the date, I wrote: “Tess, I hope you can avoid a change of flight fee.”

Then it was, “Who wants to join Tess and me at karaoke?”

This made Tess laugh and “Pink” say, “I love how you keep sneaking Tess in there.”

Karaoke night never came to fruition, but that didn’t stop me from having a little fun.

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Nov15

Rolling with Instructor

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Rolling with Instructor

I discovered this in my drafts folder from August.

🤦

The below is from July 3, and it took about a year to scroll to find it. Apparently Mrs. Instructor and I chat a lot. Mine is the writing in purple.

I do appreciate clever people.

More recently, I wrote to her, “Uncontrollable loud sustained laughter during a wall drill with Instructor. Super embarrassing.”

Her: What happened?

Me: I don’t know! I just couldn’t stop!

Her: lol

Me another day:

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Oct22

Alright, alright, already!

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Alright, alright, already!

I received this message a little bit ago:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is ilsa.png

First of all, aren’t you a subscriber so you get notified when there IS something here and don’t need to keep checking? (Take note, all of you.)

Second, I’ve been swamped with work and authorly stuff, like bio, acknowledgements, finding other authors to write blurbs, etc. [Check, check, and check, but those were the easy items.]

Third, this means I’ve been ignoring all other blogs, and I feel guilty when I post here but don’t visit others.

But the above message is what I get for telling Mrs. Instructor I had a post waiting in the wings called “The One About Mrs. Instructor.” Some people just love seeing their name in lights blogs. So, without further ado…

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Aug4

My first Jiu-Jitsu class joke

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My first Jiu-Jitsu class joke

I have old stories I haven’t yet shared, so I must take you back to my Combatives class days for a moment. Please forgive the timeline whiplash.

Instructor is quite funny, seemingly without even trying. For instance: “If you need to take someone down, be careful of what’s behind him. You don’t want to land in the street or on a baby stroller, or koala, or a cat. Be aware of your surroundings.”

I leaned to the woman next me. “Did he say koala?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, equally befuddled.

He weaves stuff like this in seamlessly.

Another thing he does is explain a move then ask Surfer Dude if he has anything to add. Since I was often demo partner in SD’s absence, I mentioned to Sensei that my new life goal was to be asked if I had anything to add.

Sensei responded with a characteristic insult. My first clue it was coming was when he opened his mouth. I, however, saw this as an excellent opportunity to make my first class joke.

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Jul31

Most girls dream about their future wedding…

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Most girls dream about their future wedding…

I never did.

I did, however, daydream about how I’d most like to receive my new belt. In my ideal world, my old friends from Betsy’s Jiu-Jitsu Journey Part 1 would be there. They would understand how much finally getting this belt after 16 months away and having to start over would mean to me.

The students in my beginner class, meh. They’d sort of care, but also not, with the possible exception of the few other females.

I commented to Instructor and Mrs. Instructor that it would be nice to get the new belt when the blue belt students were around. Mrs. Instructor laughed and reminded me that it’s meant to be a surprise.

I was indeed surprised. At the end of a class, Instructor awarded a stripe to one student. Then he did the recap of the day’s lesson, signaling to me that the awarding of promotions was over. Disappointed, but whatever, I let my gi top hang around my waist to cool off, thus making me to look like an idiot (aka, my natural state) when the moment came.

See that big line up of dudes? Only a couple of them know me.

HOWEVER, it just so happened that one blue belt friend from the old days WAS there. Not only that, he was standing right next to me. If I could only choose one person from back then, this is the one I would have chosen. It was truly a blessing to me that he was there.

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Jul27

Turns out, you can accomplish something when you work really really hard at it. Who knew?

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Turns out, you can accomplish something when you work really really hard at it. Who knew?

Yet another previously written post, but I had good reason to delay publishing.

The writing was slowly appearing on the wall. The beginner Jiu-Jitsu class was becoming too basic. I’d lingered longer than a normal person would because I wanted to soak up every last detail.

Then when a student I’d been helping when he was relatively new earned his fourth stripe, I knew I had overstayed my welcome.

With this new resolve, after class one day, I approached Instructor.

“When do you think I’ll be ready to test?” I asked.

He looked down, thoughtful, then turned to his brother.

Surfer Dude looked at me. “Now?”

I rapid fire blinked at him.

“Yeah, do you want to do it now?” Instructor asked.

“What? Uhhh.” I had not expected this response, and I was not prepared to test on the spot.

“Do you want to watch the demo videos first?” SD asked and suggested I print the test pages which list the moves for each of the four main drills.

I agreed with this plan and left in a daze.

Before I had completed my old card, the gym’s system changed, and I got a brand new card. Remember how uptight I was about getting marks for Class 20? Turns out, it didn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of twenty now.

Having made the decision to test, I needed to prepare. The best person to help me was someone who knew enough Jiu-Jitsu to be a knowledgeable “bad guy.”

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