Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jun6

The band that DID come

Posted on June 6, 2021 by Ilsa Rey

So there’s this band…

I first heard about it from my friend who tends bar at a nearby brewery. “They play stuff from the 90s,” and he started listing several bands, making my jaw drop lower with each one.

“You’ve got to book them!” I told him.

A couple months later, he did. I told all my friends.

Then, for whatever reason, the band canceled.

Then they rescheduled. I told all my friends.

The band came! And I had one of the best nights of my life. I remember repeatedly saying, “I am so happy right now.” Plus, I did this: (It’s a slide show, so go quickly and you can almost see me playing! 😉 )

Do I know how to play the drums? No.

Did I have permission to climb on stage during a break and play the drums? No.

Did the drummer turn around and say, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Yes. But after the first two words his face went from irritation/borderline anger to a broad smile. I was clearly having fun, for one thing, and I was the one who gave him food, for another. (That would be a separate blog post.)

Then, after applying some subtle pressure, the band got booked for a second time. I told all my friends.

The band got canceled.

The band was booked for a third time to play this past Saturday! I told all my friends.

Then Thursday morning I got a message from the bartender:

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but the band isn’t playing Saturday night after all. There was a miscommunication and we double booked.”

Picture me hanging my head.

Then he says, “The band that will be playing instead is a Pearl Jam cover band.”

Now picture me laughing my head off.

Pearl Jam is the band of my youth, my first musical love since age 12 when my big brother handed me their first album and said, “Check this out.” I was instantly hooked.

I told the bartender all was forgiven. I’d be there.

The bartender and me at the brewery on another occasion. When I asked if he’d mind if I put his face on my blog, he said, “I’d be honored.” Stand up guy. Despite the fact that he’s kneeling here.

I had told my mom and sister that the band was returning, so I updated them with the news that instead the performance would be by a cover band for “a particular Seattle 90s grunge band.”

My sister responded, “Nice,” then launched into a series of puns involving PJ song titles. (I love her.)

My mom said, “Is it a country band?”

She could hear me rolling my eyes from across the country.

“Ok. Ok. EV’s band?” EV, as in, Eddie Vedder, Pearl Jam’s singer. Mom’s way cooler than she lets on. Living in Cleveland, my parents sometimes take out-of-town guests to the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame. After one trip, she mailed this to me:

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Jun4

Beware of squirrels with backpacks

Posted on June 4, 2021 by Ilsa Rey

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My eight-year-old nephew said a squirrel had been digging in their sandbox, making holes in their castles. His mom told him to be sure to wash his hands after he played in there because squirrels can carry diseases.

He said, “Squirrels don’t have backpacks, so how can they carry diseases?”

Moral of the story: Be safe. Don’t play with squirrels, backpacks or not.

May26

Post-skydiving hair

Posted on May 26, 2021 by Ilsa Rey

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Indoor skydiving, that is. Not quite as cool as the real thing, but still fun.

Anyhow, I had a hair tie in, but somewhere along the way, it was sucked up into the giant suctioning fan, never to be seen again.

When I got home, my kids said, “Mom, what happened to your hair?”

That bad.

I spent 15 minutes trying to work out the snarls with my fingers because my brush was utterly useless. In that time, I untangled maybe a third of it. Then I remembered that conditioner exists, so I hopped in the shower, feeling sure there was a bottle in there somewhere.

There was not.

I texted my friend two houses down with a desperate plea for conditioner. She didn’t respond until much later. She’d gone for a walk without her phone, and had wished she could text me because she’d left her oven on. I showed her my hair. She showed me her food.

Fortunately, her house didn’t fill with smoke, but it did smell, she reported.

Her veggies were ruined, and I was seriously considering chopping my hair, or at least portions of it, way short. She recooked, and I spent the entirety of a Doc Martin episode (Have you seen this show? You must.) straightening my hair out with my fingers.

But it was all worth it because this:

And this:

We spun around and around to the top of the tower and back down multiple times in rapid succession. It was a blast!

In case you’re wondering, I know where my neighbors hide their key due to an unfortunate baking incident in which I had to do the cliché of all clichés: ask to borrow a cup of sugar.

She responded that she wasn’t home, but would be in half an hour. However, if I needed sugar right away, she’d tell me where she hides the key.

I texted back, “Please tell me where you hide the key. And the good chocolate.”

Believe it or not, she told me both, but I didn’t dare raid her cocoa stash. A woman’s chocolate is sacred. But the fact that she was willing to let me partake, in addition to entering her home while she was gone… truly an amazing neighbor.

Questions for you to ponder/comment on:

What’s worse: hair that takes an hour to untangle, or burnt peppers?
Have you been skydiving–indoor or otherwise? If not, would you want to?
Do you have an awesome neighbor?

Do share!

Feb2

Cat Nap Beauty Rest

Posted on February 2, 2021 by Ilsa Rey

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As a Christmas present, my daughter gave me coupons to sleep with certain of her beloved stuffed animals. When I cashed in one of my coupons, I found this waiting for me in my bed.

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Jan19

Frog caught your heart?

Posted on January 19, 2021 by Ilsa Rey

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My daughter, who grew up loving stuffed animal frogs, is now too old for them. {Brief moment of sad reflection.} And so it was time to rehome her amphibian friends.

This was the first to go:

“Rita” the Frog waiting for a ride in the laundry basket.

As I handed the giant frog to her new owner, who is, ironically, a teenage girl, I said, “She goes by Rita, but will respond to anything.”

The girl held the stuffed animal out in front of her and, with a gleam in her eye (the girl’s, not the frog’s), said, “You shall be called, ‘Rita’!”

Clearly, it seemed to me, this girl knew that the name fit.

I reported the happy news to my daughters: Not only had the frog gone to a new loving home, she would be able to retain her name! “Isn’t that wonderful?” I said.

I was met with blank stares. Didn’t my children personify animals the way I did?? Didn’t they care?!

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Dec31

Altitude Adjustment

Posted on December 31, 2020 by Ilsa Rey

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Our family took a mini trip to a rented house in a quaint little mountain town known for its apple cider and apple pie. On the drive, as we got farther and farther from our city by the sea (and sea level), Husband warned the kids of several possibilities, due to the altitude:

Their ears might start to hurt, due to the altitude.

The air is thinner, so it might be harder to breathe, due to the altitude.

It’s much colder, due to the altitude.

These possible side effects were mentioned several times… due to the altitude.

At the house, one daughter said the water tasted different, “maybe due to the altitude.” (I suggested it was probably just the different fridge.)

As another daughter climbed into bed with socks on, I was shocked to see how filthy the bottom of her feet were.

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Dec14

When spelling doesn’t cut it.

Posted on December 14, 2020 by Ilsa Rey

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Having the most challenging family member be preliterate is handy, since the rest of us know how to S-P-E-L-L.

Being able to communicate in a way that keeps our little Joe out of the loop is great when someone wants to sneak outside unencumbered by an enthusiastic tag-along.

The only problem is when that wannabe interloper is too smart for his own good. For instance, when Joe one day asked, “Can I go “o-u-t”?

This was our response, in cat form:

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Nov10

No cold feet in this house.

Posted on November 10, 2020 by Ilsa Rey

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I’m going through my drafts folder, of which I have 22 potential posts. This was the oldest. The daughter I speak of is now 15! This was fun for me to read, as I didn’t remember any of it. So grateful for this blog to store these memories. I hope you enjoy this little tale.

My oldest daughter was two-years-old, I would regularly take a nap on the couch while she played quietly nearby. Yep, you read that correctly. I could nap without fear while my TWO-year-old played. She was certainly something special.

Usually I would sleep with a blanket on me. One day I laid down without first grabbing the blanket. My daughter noticed this and got my blanket for me, spreading it carefully across my body. Another time, the blanket had slipped off my feet, so she replaced it for me.