Category Archives: Mrs. Instructor/Her Royal Highness

The funny parts

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The funny parts

My Jiu-Jitsu Instructor asked if anyone had a question. I raised my hand and asked if you could sneak a choke in from North/South when someone was turtling. (You follow all that?) “Money” was nearest, so Instructor demonstrated on him.

When he asked if there were any more questions, I asked what to do if the person’s turtle is so tight you can’t slip an arm in.

So, Instructor demonstrated with Money again, break dancing on top of him before ultimately sneaking in the choke. Meanwhile, Money’s getting his rear repeatedly handed to him.

“Any other questions?”

“I’m trying to think of one just so I can see you mess with Money some more,” I said.

He laughed. Money looked at me and laughed too. Then Instructor turned to him and said, “Next time I’ll demo with her and let you watch.”

To add a picture, here’s me taking this dude’s head off with my leg.

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Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

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Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

It was time to roll. Instructor turned on music.

And I started dancing. 

Typically, for this to happen, I have to be very comfortable with the people around me. So me dancing at Jiu-Jitsu… What the heck was that?!

For starters, it was, at best, some weird kick thing reminiscent of Elaine from Seinfeld.

I was her stunt double for this scene.

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The Last Bookstore

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The Last Bookstore

The Last Bookstore in L.A. is where our family went over Thanksgiving break. (Maybe, eventually, I’ll get around to posting about our Christmas break).

But before I get to that, a followup to my “Best laid (sneaky Christmas) plans” post. Originally, I was hitting up thrift stores because I meant the coat for Mrs. Instructor to be a gag gift. But then my focus shifted.

Soooooo … that’s amazing.

Now on to the blog post!

The Last Bookstore was featured in the blog of my homegirl Janis at Retirementally Challenged (clever!) My eyes lit up when I read:

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Best laid (sneaky Christmas) plans

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Best laid (sneaky Christmas) plans

My Jiu-Jitsu instructor loves the oranges from our tree. Once I was holding a bag of them when I came in for class. “Hi, Ilsa,” he greeted me.

“Hi,” I replied cheerfully, as one does and then usually moves on. But he held his ground, looking at me with a big smile. Okay, weird, I thought.

Then he said, “Who are the oranges for?”

“Oh! You, of course.” I had figured that was a given, but he later told me he was excited, so he wanted to be sure. Ha!

I typically deliver oranges in an empty tortilla bag. Once I confused Mrs. Instructor when her husband brought home a box of crackers that was actually full of oranges. Another time, I finally emptied the last of my protein powder that had expired months prior (so much for bulking up), and thought the container too nice to toss. But what could I use it for?

Oranges, of course!

Meh heh heh.

Then there was that whole trench coat incident. Mrs. Instructor had called me an orange dealer, so I said I should bring in oranges under a trench coat.

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Bonus features!

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Here are some follow-ups to previous posts.

After the one about Mrs. Instructor, she let me know she hasn’t subscribed to my blog because

Awwwhhhh… My very own stalker. Just what I always wanted.

After my Sensei goes to Singapore post, (dang, I should’ve called it that!) Ju-Lyn and I were talking about the visit. I wrote:

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Rolling with Instructor

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Rolling with Instructor

I discovered this in my drafts folder from August.

🤦

The below is from July 3, and it took about a year to scroll to find it. Apparently Mrs. Instructor and I chat a lot. Mine is the writing in purple.

I do appreciate clever people.

More recently, I wrote to her, “Uncontrollable loud sustained laughter during a wall drill with Instructor. Super embarrassing.”

Her: What happened?

Me: I don’t know! I just couldn’t stop!

Her: lol

Me another day:

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Wake me up when September ends. -Green Day

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Wake me up when September ends. -Green Day

I could also call this “My birthday month, Part 2… No, really!”

Yes, I know it’s nearly November. I’m behind at life. Also, I must clear Mrs. Instructor’s name by stating that she was in no way demanding I post my stories about her. Unlike her predecessors, Chex Mix Guy and Sensei, she has not become an attention monster. You know who else hasn’t? Surfer Dude. He knows full well about this blog and has never, to my knowledge, checked out what I’ve written about him. Wouldn’t you think he’d at least be curious? Amazing.

Okay. On with the pics, etc.

When we last saw our intrepid heroes, Heather, Neighbor, and Ilsa planned a coffee date do-over, this time at a joint called Archer’s Arrow, totally chosen by me for the name alone.

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Alright, alright, already!

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Alright, alright, already!

I received this message a little bit ago:

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is ilsa.png

First of all, aren’t you a subscriber so you get notified when there IS something here and don’t need to keep checking? (Take note, all of you.)

Second, I’ve been swamped with work and authorly stuff, like bio, acknowledgements, finding other authors to write blurbs, etc. [Check, check, and check, but those were the easy items.]

Third, this means I’ve been ignoring all other blogs, and I feel guilty when I post here but don’t visit others.

But the above message is what I get for telling Mrs. Instructor I had a post waiting in the wings called “The One About Mrs. Instructor.” Some people just love seeing their name in lights blogs. So, without further ado…

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