Aug26

Beating up my Jiu-Jitsu training partners–on accident!

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Beating up my Jiu-Jitsu training partners–on accident!

Whoa! Another post already? I know, but I’ve got gobs of stories waiting to get written up.

Remember that time I elbowed Her Royal Highness in the head right in front of her husband, the instructor? (Probably not, but that’s okay.) That incident didn’t go over well. “If she has bruises, that reflects poorly on me,” he said.

More recently I was caught slightly slapping Thoughtful One in the face.

“Slap his shoulders, not his face,” Instructor… instructed.

“He just has a perfectly slappable face,” I quipped.

“I don’t think so,” Instructor said. “I wouldn’t want to slap him in the face.”

“Me neither!” I blurted quickly as he walked away.

I later told HRH about this incident. She assured me Instructor knew I was being sarcastic as he is too. I had yet to see that play out.

Instructor doing something to me.

Then one night I asked Instructor to show me a technique he had done with Surfer Dude. It’s a move where you essentially smash the person’s ribs. When he did it on me, I went, “Hyuuh!” because that’s the best way I can spell the sound you make when you’re being smooshed and can’t breathe.

Then I tried it on him. No, “hyuuh,” but he did tap. Then he had me switch places so he could show me again.

“You did it like this,” he said.

“Hyuuh,” I responded.

“But it’s even better like this.”

“Hyuuh!” Me again.

“Do you see the difference?”

“Yes, yes, I get it. No need to do it again.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do it to you on the other side?”

So he CAN be sarcastic!

Oh, Surfer Dude…

It was my turn to roll with the Dude of Surf, but my gi top and belt were all akimbo. “Hang on a sec,” I told him, as he waited patiently on the mat. “I’m disheveled.”

“You’re what?”

“Disheveled. My gi and belt are a mess.”

“I’ve never heard that word before.”

Then with uniform properly aligned, I asked, “Where do you want to start?”

Big smile. “With a triangle.”

“Ha! No, but I’m sure you’ll get me there in about three seconds.”

He tried a mount triangle on me, but I saw it coming [shocker] and wriggled out over his foot. Then I attempted a particular move on him.

“What are you up to?” he said.

“I’m taking you to the archery range.”

My smirked and immediately blocked my “bow and arrow.”

A bit later when I evaded his arm bar, he said, “I’m disheveled.”

“That’s not what that word means,” I said.

“It does now.” He grinned.

Always a good time here.

As I was walking to the door after class, Andre the Giant asked, “When does the next book come out?” He had bought Wish I Was Here at my launch party, read it, and left a review on the official release day. (It’s good to have friends.)

“March 11,” I told him.

“I have to wait that long?” he whined.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.” He’ll be surprised, then, when I bring copies to the gym early. I’m still hoping for December. I ought to have a cover to show you in October, at the latest. Hopefully, we’ll get it right on the first go around this time. Sigh.

Old Q: Michelle Pfeiffer’s breakout role was as Stephanie Zinone in Grease 2.

New Q: “Du Hast” is a 1997 industrial metal song by this German band.

This is wild that I happened upon this trivia question. This is the song that was not playing, blaring, from my brother’s Shelby GT convertible when I was in Ohio.

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52 responses »

  3. Sometimes you worry me when you post too much because that could mean you’re injured and have nothing else to do or something bad happened. Glad to hear you’re just disheveled. Although, after some of those moves I’d be a bit disheveled myself.

    and “du hast” means “have you.” I have a friend whose mother was German and I know more about that than I should. I do have to admit not being up on my German Metal Bands, the only one I recall is Rammstein — which I think means something like battering ram or pounding stone … certainly the few songs I listened to were battering my head around.

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    • 😛 Yes, just disheveled. When in doubt, at any given moment, I’m probably disheveled.

      I looked up “du hast,” and am told it’s a clever play on words because it’s a homophone of “du hasst,” which means “you hate.” Oh, Rammstein. And OF COURSE you knew the band. One of these days, Andrew! {shakes fist toward the heavens!}

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  7. akimbo and disheveled are two of my favorite words. probably describes me waking up each day. not sure of what’s going on in that photo, but is sure looks like it hurts, and any bone could snap at any time. i have no idea about german industrial bands, so as close as i can come is a band wearing lederhosen and playing accordions, which are a little bit industrial-ish.

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  8. I suspect that the feeling that made you say, “hyuuh!” is the same as when I fell off a ladder and had the wind knocked out of me. And cracked a rib.

    I’ve got nothing on the trivia. Again.

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  11. The lead photo (perfect composition BTW) looks like still art made out of humans. There ought to be a semi-circle of artists w/ easels in the foreground trying to capture the image. Instructor’s comment about “…that reflects poorly on me” reminds me of a time my wife had a bad reaction to some makeup and one of her eyes looked seriously bruised. Took a week or two to recover. In the meantime she had to convince anyone who asked that “her husband didn’t do this!” Awkward… As far as I’m concerned your trivia question could’ve been “Name a metal band” and I still would’ve come up blank. LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Thanks, Dave. I cropped the photo from a long shot. That would be fun as a painting. Although, If I could choose, it would be a painting of me being flipped through the air. Those moments are priceless.

      Oh man, on your wife’s story. So awkward to be anywhere with her. People would shoot daggers at you with their eyes. Okay, but not even Metallica?

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