Jan17

“Your armpit needs to eat my toes.”

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It’s been a while since I’ve heard a great #OnlyInJiuJitsu line, and that one certainly qualifies. HRH was reminding me how to do a footlock, not remotely hiding her disbelief that I couldn’t remember.

It’s really depressing, though not surprising, how much I’ve forgotten. Feeling like a brand new student to Master Cycle rather than a bonafide kick butt warrior blue belt* like I once was, is a bummer. *Quiet, HRH. It’s how I felt, okay!?!

When I woke up Saturday morning for the 8:30 class and noted that HRH had messaged me at 12:03 am, I was concerned that she wouldn’t be making it to class with me. Sure enough, she had no babysitter. I would have to brave the boys class solo.

When it was time to partner up that morning, I hung back, letting the dudes do their duding. Instructor, being conscientious of the situation, paired me with Crockett. I was relieved. I did at least know him from before I left, though he was still in the class below mine then. Otherwise, partnering for the first time with a stranger is always a little awkward. Remember that Li’l Trejo incident?

Crockett was great. And soon I realized, for the upteenth time, that the balance of me being a helper vs. a helpie has shifted. I was helped constantly as a new white belt, which was fine. Little was expected of me. I had nowhere to go but up.

Eventually I became “teacher’s pet” helping out the others, which was awesome. Then I left, returned more than a year later, and was back on bottom. It took far less time to become top dawg again, and I didn’t mind that.

Then I joined Master Cycle and it was bottom of the pile again. I don’t think I ever became super helpful in Master Cycle except to a couple lady friends who came in after me.

Today, a Combatives Belt (Crockett) was helping the Blue Belt. The roller coaster of it all is amusing to me. It saddens me to think where I would be at this point had I not been gone for seven months. Not only would I have a stripe on my belt (most likely), I wouldn’t be fighting my brain to relearn stuff. Eventually, months from now, I hope to be back here noting that I’m able to help others again.

Okay, maybe not months. Possibly a year, barring yet another crazy random injury. (No, Universe, I will NOT learn!)

HRH sent me this acknowledgment that Instructor had found my offering to the Jui-Jitsu gods left on his desk–a nice fat orange from my tree.

Let’s roll, baby!

I’d been skipping the optional roll portion of class except with HRH, which was more review than roll. After having to truly go at it during class with Crockett, then we rotated and I had to be even more fierce but prevailed in not dying against Pirate, I felt up for rolling.

After a previous class at roll time, Instructor was walking toward me, and I very obviously sidestepped to avoid him. Nope. No, thank you. (I may have said that out loud, too.)

But today he said, “I’m with you, Ilsa.”

I responded, “Bring it on, CHUMP!”

HRH just spit her coffee. What I actually said was, “Okay.”

I’d nearly forgotten how much fun he is to roll with. I’d forgotten everything else, too. At one point he paused and said, “Elbow escape.” I stared blankly. “Turn sideways.” I obeyed and completed the escape, not 100% correctly, but it was something.

But later he said, “Trap and roll.”

Now. If you guys have been reading this crazy adventure of mine for a while, you may even recognize that term. It is literally the first thing you learn even before you start your first class. It is as basic as basic can be.

Could I remember how to do it in that moment?

No. No, I could not.

It was so bad that he first verbally told me what to do. That failed, so he had to physically move my hands into position on his arm before it clicked into place.

I think I need to go back to being a white belt.

Then he and I had this fun showdown where he went for my leg, but I freed it. In doing so, he grabbed my loose arm. Oooh, sneaky! So I’d have to rescue my arm. That once again gave him access to my leg. And back and forth it went several times until he grabbed my arm and trapped it under his neck.

I helped the machine learn and adapt.

Awesome.

Unable to free my arm, I conceded, “Alright,” and swatted his leg to tap out.

Now the clock on the wall alerted me that the library was about to open at 10, so I left. Back at home after that side quest, I messaged HRH.

Speaking of public and libraries

Janis, being the rockstar that she is, said she’d love to help me try to get my book into our county library system.

Anyone else willing to do the same?

Perhaps the next time you step into your local branch, you could ask the person at the desk if they have Wish I Was Here by Ilsa Rey, the greatest new Young Adult novel this side of the Mississippi. If the answer is no, and, let’s be real, it will be, see if they might want to order a copy for their system.

The ebook is also available on Overdrive, Hoopla, and other e-reader platforms, so, barring a physical copy, libraries are welcome to add the book to their catalog that way.

Won’t hurt to ask, right? So please remember me the next time you’re in the building or on the website navigating to wherever the “Suggest new title” option is for you. If you need specs, you can find them here. Muchas gracias!

Seriously. Thank you for your efforts. ❤

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The 12 highest-grossing movies in 1985 were: Fletch, Police Academy 2, Spies Like Us, The Goonies, Witness, Jewel of the Nile, Cocoon, Out of Africa, The Color Purple, Rocky IV, Rambo: First Blood Part II, and Back to the Future.

How did you do?

New Q: This Scottish city lends its name to British slang for a headbutt. (So random!)

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59 responses »

  1. Okay, here’s the deal, I’ll ask for your book in my library and you ask for mine in yours! In fact, you could tell them it’s a growth opportunity and I will say this book reminds everyone about their love of libraries! Bahaha. Glad to see your back rolling around with strange men on sweaty mats. I think working on your escape is both practical and advantageous. This comes from someone who knows absolutely nothing about rolling around with strange men. Hugs, C

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  2. I hope that no one has actually given you a Glasgow Kiss. That might be painful, unless you remember your Jiu Jitsu move to get out of the way fast or counter before your nose gets broken — you know get their nose to eat your toes before they break your nose …

    or something like that.

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  3. glad you made it through and I’ll ask my friendly librarian for sure – ps. I only got one movie right because I have no memory for dates, just took a stab at 80s movies in general. and Scottish city, I’d say Edinburgh or Glasgow? or is that cheating to guess two? too late!

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    • Oh yay–you have a friendly librarian. That’s so handy. My local librarian friend retired several years ago. :/ I didn’t even attempt the movie trivia, really. I immediately read the answer. 😛 Your second city is correct. I’ll allow the “cheating” since you’re doing the library thing. 😉 Thanks, Beth!

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  4. Libraries are used to homeless bums wandering in, so I’m sure nobody gave you a second glance 😉

    Considering how injured you already are, will probably get in the future, I suggest you stay away from anybody offering you a glasgow kiss. That WAS a totally random piece of trivia though 😀 The only reason I know it is because I used to be friends with a blogger from Scotland and he introduced me to the term. Thankfully not physically, hahahahaa!

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    • There was an older woman who looked at me and then quickly looked away. Homeless people do tend to make people a little uncomfortable at times, as in, “I’m not sure what to do here. Is this person crazy? Drunk? High?” It was probably a toss up with me. She may have been trying to work out how to tell me she didn’t have any cash.

      The trivia book only gave the city, not the full nickname, so I appreciate the bonus trivia.

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  8. Tons of credit heaped on you for jumping back into the pool while wondering if you could still swim. I thought it would be like “riding a bike” but it’s not a good comparison. You’re having to remember a whole lot more than pedaling and balance. Hoping to read about the return of the queen in mere months instead of a year or more. Trivia guess = Edinburgh (and not St. Andrews, the only other city I can come up with).

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    • Thanks, Dave. I guess we’ll see what happens! I’m hoping maybe there’s a switch in my brain that will suddenly flip and all will be well again. I have no pretenses on how long that will take, however. On the trivia, not quite! Try to think of another city. 🙂

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  9. Love seeing you back in your happy place, Betsy! 😊 The joy just leaps off your words and recaps.

    And great idea to get your book into the public library system. One good strategy is to see if your local library has a youth services lead and reach out to them. Have you thought about doing author talks at your library too? They’re always looking for ideas to engage young aspiring writers. Sharing in case it inspires an idea for you!

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    • I have thought about it off and on, Ab. Public speaking scares me, even though I’ve done it several times. I keep thinking I should talk to someone about this while I’m at the library. I guess I’d better make a point to be there at a time other than after Jiu-Jitsu class. 😛 Thanks for reminding me about this. 🙂

      P.S. Have you started reading yet? 🙂 🙂

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      • The promotion part of any book writing process must be unnerving as I can imagine. I know you can do it! 🙂

        I am really bad with reading, if I can be honest. I read like 1 book a year for myself. The rest is with T and for work I’m doing on a course. But I look forward to reading it during the upcoming Spring break in March 🙂 I’ll be sure to share my thoughts!

        Liked by 1 person

      • By and large, writers just want to write. Alone. With a cat. And probably a drink. The marketing part is the pits.

        Fair enough. Perhaps you could read it aloud to T. When I was subbing 7th graders, if we had extra time, I’d pull out the book slowly so they’d see and quickly quiet down for Story Time. 😛 My biggest fans. 🙂

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    • That would be amazing!!! Thank you! The library up north in the tiny town my husband is from and his mom works has it. (Imagine that.) She replaced some OTHER book that was front and center with my book. She later noted with satisfaction it was checked out. 😛 So there’s one!

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  15. that is a great line, one which I would only see on your blogsite!!!! You crack me up like no one else does!

    It is tough to return after a long hiatus. To anything. What do they say about that bicycle?!!!

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  16. Ilsa, you determination and grit shine through as you return and relearn so much! Your love of jujutsu is evident through the wonderful engaging description of your class. Oh, I love that hair and just shows you’re having an enjoyable busy life! 😀For fun, I just checked our library over here in England – they used to operate on Overdrive but sadly no result.

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    • Mentally and emotionally, it feels great to be back. Physically, my body says, “WHY?!?” 😛

      Thanks for checking your library. Though the book is available in Overdrive and all the places, the libraries must request them, or order them, or whatever. Sadly, they don’t automatically populate to library systems. 😦 Patrons need to request the library get the book first. So next time you’re in the system, if you felt up for it… 🙂

      And thank you for all of the above, Annika. 🙂

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