It’s been a while since I’ve heard a great #OnlyInJiuJitsu line, and that one certainly qualifies. HRH was reminding me how to do a footlock, not remotely hiding her disbelief that I couldn’t remember.

It’s really depressing, though not surprising, how much I’ve forgotten. Feeling like a brand new student to Master Cycle rather than a bonafide kick butt warrior blue belt* like I once was, is a bummer. *Quiet, HRH. It’s how I felt, okay!?!

When I woke up Saturday morning for the 8:30 class and noted that HRH had messaged me at 12:03 am, I was concerned that she wouldn’t be making it to class with me. Sure enough, she had no babysitter. I would have to brave the boys class solo.

When it was time to partner up that morning, I hung back, letting the dudes do their duding. Instructor, being conscientious of the situation, paired me with Crockett. I was relieved. I did at least know him from before I left, though he was still in the class below mine then. Otherwise, partnering for the first time with a stranger is always a little awkward. Remember that Li’l Trejo incident?

Crockett was great. And soon I realized, for the upteenth time, that the balance of me being a helper vs. a helpie has shifted. I was helped constantly as a new white belt, which was fine. Little was expected of me. I had nowhere to go but up.

Eventually I became “teacher’s pet” helping out the others, which was awesome. Then I left, returned more than a year later, and was back on bottom. It took far less time to become top dawg again, and I didn’t mind that.

Then I joined Master Cycle and it was bottom of the pile again. I don’t think I ever became super helpful in Master Cycle except to a couple lady friends who came in after me.

Today, a Combatives Belt (Crockett) was helping the Blue Belt. The roller coaster of it all is amusing to me. It saddens me to think where I would be at this point had I not been gone for seven months. Not only would I have a stripe on my belt (most likely), I wouldn’t be fighting my brain to relearn stuff. Eventually, months from now, I hope to be back here noting that I’m able to help others again.

Okay, maybe not months. Possibly a year, barring yet another crazy random injury. (No, Universe, I will NOT learn!)

Let’s roll, baby!

I’d been skipping the optional roll portion of class except with HRH, which was more review than roll. After having to truly go at it during class with Crockett, then we rotated and I had to be even more fierce but prevailed in not dying against Pirate, I felt up for rolling.

After a previous class at roll time, Instructor was walking toward me, and I very obviously sidestepped to avoid him. Nope. No, thank you. (I may have said that out loud, too.)

But today he said, “I’m with you, Ilsa.”

I responded, “Bring it on, CHUMP!”

HRH just spit her coffee. What I actually said was, “Okay.”

I’d nearly forgotten how much fun he is to roll with. I’d forgotten everything else, too. At one point he paused and said, “Elbow escape.” I stared blankly. “Turn sideways.” I obeyed and completed the escape, not 100% correctly, but it was something.

But later he said, “Trap and roll.”

Now. If you guys have been reading this crazy adventure of mine for a while, you may even recognize that term. It is literally the first thing you learn even before you start your first class. It is as basic as basic can be.

Could I remember how to do it in that moment?

No. No, I could not.

It was so bad that he first verbally told me what to do. That failed, so he had to physically move my hands into position on his arm before it clicked into place.

I think I need to go back to being a white belt.

Then he and I had this fun showdown where he went for my leg, but I freed it. In doing so, he grabbed my loose arm. Oooh, sneaky! So I’d have to rescue my arm. That once again gave him access to my leg. And back and forth it went several times until he grabbed my arm and trapped it under his neck.

I helped the machine learn and adapt.

Awesome.

Unable to free my arm, I conceded, “Alright,” and swatted his leg to tap out.

Now the clock on the wall alerted me that the library was about to open at 10, so I left. Back at home after that side quest, I messaged HRH.

Speaking of public and libraries

Janis, being the rockstar that she is, said she’d love to help me try to get my book into our county library system.

Anyone else willing to do the same?

Perhaps the next time you step into your local branch, you could ask the person at the desk if they have Wish I Was Here by Ilsa Rey, the greatest new Young Adult novel this side of the Mississippi. If the answer is no, and, let’s be real, it will be, see if they might want to order a copy for their system.

The ebook is also available on Overdrive, Hoopla, and other e-reader platforms, so, barring a physical copy, libraries are welcome to add the book to their catalog that way.

Won’t hurt to ask, right? So please remember me the next time you’re in the building or on the website navigating to wherever the “Suggest new title” option is for you. If you need specs, you can find them here. Muchas gracias!

Seriously. Thank you for your efforts. ❤

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The 12 highest-grossing movies in 1985 were: Fletch, Police Academy 2, Spies Like Us, The Goonies, Witness, Jewel of the Nile, Cocoon, Out of Africa, The Color Purple, Rocky IV, Rambo: First Blood Part II, and Back to the Future.

How did you do?

New Q: This Scottish city lends its name to British slang for a headbutt. (So random!)