Sep1

Well, this is embarrassing.

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In a post from March 2022, I wrote that “doing bicycle crunches with five-pound weights strapped to each ankle is no joke.” Since then, I’ve added two pound weights on top of that and have gotten to the point of yawning my way through my exercises. (I know that sounds horribly braggy. Just stick with me here.)

So I figure, if I can do seven pounds with no problem, I’m ready to jump to ten pounds.

Happy early birthday to me!

I carried the box inside, cut it open, and thought, Holy cow! What is this? Military grade, Kevlar-infused, SWAT-Team-ready ankle weights?

The things be massive.

Then I thought, Huh. This seems like a big leap from my seven pounds to this. How can that be? Are these weights accurate?

I put them on the scale. Yep. Then I picked up my two “five pound weights” to compare.

Hmm… Some of you who are way savvier than I are already laughing at me.

So, as it turns out, these “five pound pairs” don’t mean five pounds each, they mean five total for the two of them. Same with my two pounders. So all this time I thought I’ve been rocking seven pounds per leg like a friggin’ Beast, when instead I’ve been exercising with all of 3.5 pounds.

I’m not a bad a$$. I’m a dumb a$$.

I’m supposed to go from that to this?!

These things are so hardcore, they require TWO straps.

The good news is, these ankle weights straight from Dwayne Johnson’s home gym (not really) have zippered compartments so I can remove some of the weight and build up from there. Maybe I’ll have worked up to the full ten pounds in as many years if I’m not back in a wheelchair by then.

But in other news, since my birthday is coming, blog reader Flojo sent me a gift. (Why don’t more of you send gifts for my birthday?! Kidding. Flojo feels obligated because she was there when I was born.)

Plus, she knew she’d found the perfect gift.

Look out trivia night. Here we come!

And, just like I said when I mentioned her in a radio interview some years ago: “I can hear her squealing with delight at being personally mentioned.”

You’re welcome, Mom. And thanks for the great book.

Oh, and, whoops. One last minor thing of note:

🙂 More on this later.

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78 responses »

  5. I want to write something smart-alecky, but if you’re a dumb-a$$, then I am too. I’m not sure I would have picked up on that right away either! Oh, the joys of exercise and the many different ways it can put us in our place. Ha, ha, don’t feel too bad though, you got up and off the couch, definitely more than most people! Ha ha! 😎😎🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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    • The funny thing is, I did the research for the weights I ordered online. The weights I already owned were given to me. Perhaps if I had bought those myself??? Who knows. But, as you and I have noted many times, this is the stuff blog posts are made of! ;P
      Thanks, AB! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      • OK, I can’t believe this. I knew exactly where those weights were, for about 15 years, went looking. Husby gave them away a year ago to the Salvation Army to outfit a weight room they were working on. Gave them the whole box and his workout stuff (and a broken Lifecycle–I remember that going out the door). I never missed them. I’m sorry I offered without checking!

        I also forgot you live just south of me, in SD. I don’t drive much anymore but my daughter used to be there with the Navy, several tours.

        Happy birthday on the 9th and apologies again!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. That’s hilarious about the weights. I love that you come clean on this — all for the delight of your readers. If they are like me, they are breathing a sigh of relief since I can’t do bicycle crunches with 10 pound weights either. Maybe not even with 3.5 lbs!

    Happy early birthday to you, dear Betsy. What a great present!! May it further your fun and your wins!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. I get it – math is hard. That’s why I got a degree in English, much easier to figure out when ‘i’ should go before ‘e’ than 5+5 …

    and you know, you can get things like cranes, jacks, forklifts to move that heavy stuff around … you don’t need to lift it with your body …

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. It’s easy to get confused on stuff like this. However, holy cow does it seem like a difference for me between 5 pound and 8 pound weights. I think it’s so strange, how 3 pounds can make such a difference???

    Like

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  18. I want to say bicycle crunches are hard enough without adding weights but… oh crud, I’ve already said it. Yes, my attention to ab exercises could use, well, attention. As for the trivia book, maybe it would also please your mom to include one of the 3,000 in every one of your posts going forward. Kind of a “did you know?” to sign off with. Finally, the “belt board” (is that what it’s called?) I’m not gonna lie. I thought it looked like a Jenga game as I slowly scrolled from the top down. But that’s an insult to a belt board, for which I sincerely apologize.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dave, you are a delightful human being. Has anyone ever told you that, in those exact words? Well, now I have. Ab attention is funny. Ending each post with a trivial fact is an excellent idea. And I’m grateful that someone (other than the one person from my TKD class who read this) is mentioning the belt board. Yes, that is precisely what I call it. And, yeah, it does look like giant Jenga, doesn’t it? So no need to apologize. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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  19. I’m still impressed with the 3.5 pound ankle weights–that’s a lot! The pub night book looks fun–I’m tempted to buy one for myself and use it as a kind of writer’s tool, like the way one might use a thesaurus or a dictionary. I think it could be useful in many ways–not just at the pub.

    Liked by 1 person

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