Jul28

Back to our regularly scheduled program

Posted on by
Standard
Back to our regularly scheduled program

In other words, I went back to Jiu-Jitsu Saturday morning after my surgery on Monday. The doctor had warned, “Nothing more than a stationary bike. Don’t get your blood pressure up.”

I don’t have a stationary bike, so I basically got slothful for several days. Feeling my muscles shrink and my stomach sag, I at least did a set of push-ups Friday. My nose throbbed afterward, however.

Oh well. It’s been too long since I’d Jiu-Jitsued it up, so I donned my gi and fresh nose Band-Aids and headed to the mixed beginner (Combatives) and advanced (Master Cycle) class.

A new woman, Mary, whom I’d partnered with last Saturday and therefore we’re BFFs now, asked what was up with my face. [Note: not her words.] From her friend’s experience, I learned massaging the scar later on will help. Good tip!

Other people ignored me, which was fine too. I didn’t feel any pain during class either. Take that, doc and weird nose-throb-push-up incident.

Then after class, I took a moment on the bench. Pirate walked back and forth across the mat eyeing me. I glanced away because the sustained eye contact had reached that awkward point. But I looked back and he was still looking at me, pacing like a lion on the other side of zoo glass, now saying “Ilsa, Ilsa, Ilsa” over and over again.

“Are you saying you want to spar with me?” I asked. It was post-class rolling time.

“No,” he said, coming closer. “What happened?” He swirled a finger in the air around his nose.

“Oh!” I’d kind of forgotten. Then I understood his pacing and expression meant, “What did you do to yourself now?”

I explained then said, “Want to see how gnarly it is?” I pulled up the pic I took before putting fresh wrappings on before class. I’ll spare you, and just say I look like I have one of those woollybear caterpillars clinging to the side of my nose.*

He took the sight of my freakish face like a champ and congratulated me for getting it taken care of.

Her Royal Highness had the audacity to not be at class. I sent her this picture afterward with the message: “Medusa hair can only mean one thing.”

“Did you make it to class?” HRH wrote in response.

Apparently, she thinks my hair could look like that on any given day for any reason or no reason whatsoever.

She isn’t wrong.

* My son witnessed me finding woollybear pictures. Then I accidentally clicked to Instagram where I’d sent HRH the unvarnished, uncovered pic of my nose. I quickly clicked the correct WordPress tab but not before Little Joe said, “You had one of those caterpillars on your nose!” So, I was right about what it looks like.

Making Blog Buddy History

The night before my “nose job,” I made blog history with a blog buddy by meeting up with her not once, but twice, not in one state, but two, not in one month… Oh, you get the idea.

The Travel Architect and I got a round two!

This time with her hubby!

When I met TTA in June in Minnesota, her husband had been in England. The next day, when I met Mark in Wisconsin, he said it was a shame I had missed The Husband. Now I know what he meant! So much entertainment value in one human package!

These two were so much fun! I was delighted that their travel plans brought them within driving distance for a fantastic dinner at a Mexican restaurant with fun decor.

Strange lighting, yes, but look at that colorful ceramic turtle chock full of plants! The metal rooster is a bonus.

This outing worked out well for me because it was only a five-minute drive from a little bookstore that housed a copy of my novel, Wish I Was Here. I noticed In Bloom Bookery in Temecula, CA, frequently held book signings, so I had inquired.

Turns out, with their 60/40 split, I would lose money on every book I sold, so I had to pass on that idea. But the nice contact lady ordered a copy and invited me to come up and sign it. Lo and behold, I was traveling up later that week! I met her, signed the book, and she moved it to a table with other signed copies. Those were of multiple copies each, but I’m still a small fry. I’m just glad to have made the table.

There I am in all my in-tact nosed glory.

I’m glad I got that in just prior to having my face cut open.

I put the above on Instagram and my old Jiu-Jitsu buddy, Tess, congratulated me, which led me to this sheepish question:

Every time something like this happens, Hubby says, “See! I told you it was a good book!”

He has had to tell me that a lot. I still don’t have the sales to prove it, maybe because marketing and I are not best buds. Sigh. Maybe eventually I’ll figure that part out. Speaking of, does anyone have a BookTok or Bookstagram account and want to show me the ropes?

Last question: In cricket, how many balls are delivered by the bowler per over? Answer: 6! No one got that! Not even Andrew!

However, the next question, with the same answer, was, how many stitches did I get? This time Andrew did guess six. Figures. Leave it to Andrew.

New question: The famous quote, “There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; the rest are merely games” has been frequently and erroneously attributed to this author.

Discover more from Writing and Martial Arts

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

24 responses »

  1. You know, if I’d seen your nose without knowing what happened, my first question would have been, “What does the other guy look like?” Personally I find that most effective when someone has an arm in a sling.

    and, Hemingway and Purdy. First gets the credit, second said it first.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  2. And darkness covered the land, and the mixed multitude cried out “Oh, what have we done to deserve such punishment?”

    And the prophet Bookie stood up and spake as such: “Verily, thou hast prostituted thy selves with foreign sites, bowing down before the Booktokshera and offering strange fires to the false god Bookstagramam. Repent ye of thy wickedness and return to He who created you and love you, The Blog. The Blog knows thou art weak and easily led astray and He will forgive your iniquities and bring the sun and rain back, if thou repentest.”

    And the mixed multitude repented of their evil ways and returned to The Blog. And there was much rejoicing and singing and all was right in the land again.

    ~1st Bookstooge, Chapter 8, Verses 10-15

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Oh

      My

      Gosh.

      😛

      You really enjoyed writing that, didn’t you? I can picture you grinning from here, even though I have not a clue what you look like.

      But Booky, the blog is not selling books for me. Well, it sold a few to some very kind individuals, but that’s not gonna cut it. I need to learn to branch out, but I will never leave you! There shall be no wailing and gnashing of teeth!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Yeah, I just hate the picture side type sites that have taken the place of blogging. Its like the people who complain nowadays that you can’t buy a stickshift any more. Time changes. But I don’t have to like it or accept it 😉

        And I understand that your blog doesn’t sell books. Your blog isn’t author/bookcentric, and I’ll be honest, I’m happy with that decision of yours. If you turned this place into Author 101 Central, I’d probably quietly fade away.

        Finally, yes, I am grinning ear to ear 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m also annoyed at the lack of stickshifts, but anyway. I’d be a different person if this blog was all about the book. But I’m probably supposed to have an author website. Sigh. The lament of all authors: I just want to write books. But, like you said, things change. I don’t have to like or accept it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • What if I hate it though? I rarely separate writer from book and if I hated the book, that would change, no matter how small, how I view you.
        Right now, you’re A-OK crazy karate lady. We start down the darkside of the bookpath and there is simply no telling where we will end up. That’s a chance I’m simply not willing to take.

        Like

      • So I just have to get you to hate me first. Then there won’t be a conflict of interest. Okay, you fat ugly pig! (Remember I have no idea what you look like.) Here we go: You dumb, hippie Commie! Surely that did it.
        But also, it has been pointed out that the voice for the book is the same as for the blog. Plus, everyone else has liked it. I think I’m willing to take that risk. Imagine if you loved it! Then your esteem for me, as hard as this is to imagine, would go up!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ahhh, but you are missing two key pieces of information.

        My ego is mightier than Superman, so your insults simply bounce off of me like bullets. I am insultproof 😀

        Second, I have an already established bias against indie writers.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Not indie! Small press! There’s a difference! My publisher is in Texas, far from the New York crazies who gobble up Maine oceanfronts, the b*st*rds!
        (I hope I’m remembering that right.)

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am going to say with confidence that this will be your loss, my friend, especially because book 2 is such a dude’s book you’d be sure to like it.
        An idea: have your wife read it first!

        Liked by 1 person

Share what you think of this story, or share one of your own!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.