Oct5

This is why I’ll never make it as an author

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This is why I’ll never make it as an author

Here’s what happened.

Friday night was the school’s football homecoming game. Usually Hubby takes the kids, and I chill at home alone, blissfully. Ah, introversion. I was also super tired, so a low-key quiet night sounded great.

But, I wrote this book…

Apparently it’s harder to sell books if you don’t talk to people???

The funny, talented, and inspirational Cheryl said she keeps a box of books in her trunk (can do), and then SELLS them to people. (Wait, wut?) She even stops at garage sales and gets the sellers–sellers!–to buy her book!

Cheryl’s book. I bought it without her asking me to. That’s how good she is.

That’s next level salesmanship. I could never.

But, I chugged some caffeine, put a box of books in the trunk of the family van, and the six of us hauled off to the game. I ambitiously put four books in my purse with Hubby saying he could run back to the van if I needed more.

HAHAHAHA!

I schmoozed like a champ with acquaintances and strangers alike. What I didn’t do? TALK ABOUT MY BOOK!

One old friend knew about it, however, and congratulated me on it.

Correct response: “Thanks. Would you like to buy a copy?”

My response: “Thanks. How’s your son doing in college?”

Finally, at the end of the night, with this purse of books burning a hole in my shoulder, I found myself standing in front of a woman I’ve had several conversations with in the past. Easy, right? We’re friends by now.

“So, I wrote a book called Wish I Was Here.” [Good start.]

I pulled it out of my purse and showed her. [Good, good, getting warmer.]

“Can I see?” she says. [Oooh, warmer still! It’s in her hands! She’s reading the back!]

How I’ll sell this book is a mystery to me.

“Is it a mystery?” she asks.

“It is!” I tell her.

“I love mysteries,” she says. [Success is nigh!]

“Can I read it?” she asks.

“Of course!” I tell her. “I can even sign it for you.”

And so I did, and she walked away with it while I’m blinking after her like, “Oh. Wait.”

Not only did I NOT sell any books, I gave one away for free because I never had the nerve to tell her I was selling them or to ask her for money. Because how does one do that?!?!

So, I hauled myself off to this event unwillingly in order to hustle with a net “gain” of -$20.

I really suck at this.

I’m in the hole with this publisher (let’s not get into it), and I cannot dig myself out by giving books away. Will I ever develop an inner-Cheryl?

So, hey, if any of you like books with suspense, humor, action, and romance–and I know you’re out there–or if you happen to be reading this while at a garage sale, would you like a copy of my book? Maybe even pay for it too? I have boxes of them stacked in my bedroom. I’ll send an autographed copy to your door. [IlsaReyAuthor @ gmail . com]

If you need me, I’ll be reading Assertiveness for Dummies.

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116 responses »

  1. Here’s an idea… send your friend a note: It was great to see you on Saturday! I hope you are enjoying my book. Great reviews really help to sell books (mine retails for $XX) so I’d appreciate if you could leave me an honest review when you’ve finished it. Also if you know anyone who would enjoy my book too, please send them to (link) to purchase their own copy.

    Your friend probably won’t get the hint, but you may be able to get more sales out of your unintended generosity.

    Liked by 3 people

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  3. I don’t blame your friend for thinking and doing what she did. There are so many books out there, that writers (not authors, there is a difference) can’t GIVE their books away. Not any more. She probably assumed that getting the word out to 3 other people in her online circle of acquaintances was doing you a BIG favor. Which, for an introvert, is.

    However, when your expectation was to SELL the book, yeah, that just plain sucks for you, hahahahahaa. I hope you can do better in the future….

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      • Yes, I hope. It’s just so awkward to ask people for money. And $20 seems like a lot for a book, but maybe not? It’s technically $20.95 per the publisher, but that’s just an obnoxious amount, so I say $20, which, of course, eats more of my earnings. But, whatever.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally get this. Self promotion and asking for money in a non retail environment would feel weird to me as well. Love the email idea though as that clueless friend really should have offered payment.

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    • I guess that’s what I was waiting for–her to ask. Live and learn. This is almost enough for me to say, screw it. This isn’t worth it. But then, how many hours, years, have I put into this book? I should at least try, right? Bleh.

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  5. This is a great way to get folks to avoid you at all costs. You need a plan that does not include person to person sales where you walk up to them. If you approach someone then of course they are going to think the book is a gift. If you want to do person to person sales you need to find a venue that supports that kind of activity. (Book fairs, Flea markets, etc.)

    Liked by 3 people

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    • It’s not like I walked up to her with the book out. We’d been talking. There was a lull… Maybe I’ll look into the farmer’s market in town. Oof. So much work. Why didn’t you warn me, John?!?! 😉

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    • John, I agree with what you shared here. I am still thinking about what to add for my comment here – but I have noticed that a lot of people do not carry cash – and maybe some authors walk around with a little cube for swiping cards (do they?) I really think that person-to-person sales at events would not work me – and think the book fairs, flea markets and all that is the way to go

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      • yes!
        and the good news is you took a risk and got this idea moving.
        that is huge
        have you ever heard of the saying
        “winners have more losses than losers”?
        well not to say this is a loss – and maye we can say “winners have more angst and lessons learned than those who play it safe and never try an idea”
        and some things we only learn by doing – and even with being in the hole with the publisher and uncertain how to market and sell in a way that works for you – you should smile and stand real tall because “you did it” and you got your first book COMPLETED – (and girl, we know how long that cover took – hahah)
        and so as you move into the phase of sales and trying to get a lot of copies sold – do not miss the joy in the biggest milestone – and that is getting this book to a point where you can even send signed copies.

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  8. I feel for you. I’m no good selling either. I left my book in doctor’s waiting rooms, donated it to the library’s book sale. I figured I’d get it out there. Have you contacted local library to give a talk?

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Do you have any sense if leaving it out and about did any good? I sent an email to the library because it’s easier than talking to a human. That was weeks ago. I should probably follow up in person. Sigh.

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  9. Selling yourself is hard especially when there’s money involved and when you’re a nice humble person, which I sense you are. But hopefully this was a lesson learned on your worth and to not give your hard work away! 😊

    Does your publisher ship to Canada?

    Liked by 1 person

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    • The publisher can ship to Canada. But so can I, and mine comes autographed! (Message me on IG?)

      Lesson learned on being a little more assertive and forthright. Maybe something good will still come from that freebie. [Fingers crossed!]

      Liked by 1 person

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  10. “And so I did, and she walked away with it while I’m blinking after her like, “Oh. Wait.” I apologize for being gross, but I spilled my drink on that one. Wait, I meant buy, buy, not take. Ha, ha. Ilsa, Ilsa, Ilsa, what are we going to do with you? I think we need to resort to Plan B. YOu still go to the next football game . . . but this time, you’re followed by your own Book Entourage. You start a conversation with a friend. You say, “hey, did you know I wrote a book?” Before the person has a chance to say anything else, the entourage starts the book spiel. The entourage touts it and calls it the best book since the printing of the Bible. Better than a Tale of Two Cities, Don Quixote and Harry Potter — other big books to break publishing records. They point out for only a few dollars they could be holding the best book of all time in their hands. For a few extra dollars, they could even have the book signed. If they add in an additional $100, you’ll even take a selfie with them. YOur husband will need to make several trips back to the van to get extra copies. I have a feeling this is a winning idea. We just need to get a few of your blogging friends together to make this happen. What do you say. Ha, ha. By the way, I love that you don’t even include a link? Where do we get this amazing book? Inquiring minds need to know!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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    • You are such an enterprising fellow, Brian! I like your plan!

      So, I didn’t provide a link because when people buy from the publisher, I get approximately 70c per book. If you buy it from me, I get more like $6. Plus you get it autographed and sooner. Otherwise, you wait until it officially releases late December. And who wants to wait when you can get it now??

      How was that for salesmanship? I’m getting better, eh? 😉

      Liked by 2 people

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      • Oh phooey on the publisher! Yea, yea, we need publishers, but still, 70 cents vs $6, c’mon. You’re getting better but still need a little help. So what’s the cost? Where do I send the money? How do I get a book? When will you be on Good Morning America, Today or one of the Late Night shows? You know all the important stuff!!!!

        Liked by 2 people

  13. Oh my, Betsey. Lol. Well, you aren’t alone. I’ve given away a lot of books, some on purpose and some not. One fellow wanted to see my book and proceeded to get chocolate fingerprints all over it. I had no choice but to graciously suggest he keep it.

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  14. oh, this is so me!!!! can you write a blog about how we buy it from you? and you can do a book reading at your library and invite locals and sell your books there and…. see I’m better at promoting others than myself. seriously, let us know. do we have to wait until the publisher releases it to give you reviews? does the publisher give you credit for books sold if you sell them yourself? help us help you

    Liked by 1 person

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    • 100% agree. Unfortunately, we are cliche in that sentiment. The only book I’ve read or will read by Chuck Palahniuk was his advice on writing. One part, essentially, said all writers don’t want to promote themselves, but guess what? That’s part of the process, so get used to it.

      Whatever, Chuck! What do you know?!

      Oh. Wait. 😉

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  25. I have a basement full of my father’s books that I would love to sell but I’m not brave enough to go out and do it! Your book sounds great, by the way. My family has banned me from bringing any more books into the house, so I pre-ordered the eBook. Hope that helps!

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  26. I totally get it! I’m not a fan of selling anything. I don’t buy books because – library! I wonder if you could get your book into some library systems? Or suggest it to someone you know in a book club?? LOL!

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    • Bijioux, my mom already got it to the lady (a decades-long friend) who works for the library system near you. You should get it at your local branch eventually. 🙂 I gotta get it into my own library, and I’m going to suggest it for book clubs for sure. Thanks, B! 🙂

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  27. Hi – I have so many thoughts swirling around – and already chimed in on John’s comment.
    So, I will just try and list my feedback.
    1) This is crazy but I was thinking about the “grow, damn it” book title a while back and could not recall who wrote it. I sure loved that title and well, it was great to see you mention the book so now i know who wrote it (I might be able to check out that book at some point, but not now).
    2) As noted in John’s comment area, most people I am around do not carry cash and so I am not sure how these on the spot book transactions will unfold.
    3) If you want to sell them on the go, which seems to work for Cheryl and maybe some others, I would suggest adding price tags to the books. Maybe put some twine around them and have a price tag, small but bright so it stands out.
    And maybe add a tea bag to the twine and the price tag – or not?
    But if it were me, I would carry six books in a small little tote that is only for the books.
    four of them would have the twine with a dangling price tag that was very clear with a large price – so folks without glasses can read it and small enough to be subtle – but also clear enough that these books come with a cost.
    Then maybe add a tea bag, cheap key chain, magnet, plastic bracelet, ot something little to make it look like a package. The psychology is layered here, but I know there are times I opted to buy for what felt like extras – or it just all looked so inviting. Or because I wanted the magnet or key chain more than the main item (in this case the book). OR! there are times when I bought little set ups like this because I needed a gift to give away.
    So, that is another angle. With Christas coming, maybe two of the books can have holiday ribbon and a small ornament. “Give this to the young adult in your life” –
    ***
    Those are just a few ideas I have right now.
    xxx
    Yvette

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Oh, Yvette, this is very, very clever. Thank you! “Cozy up to a good book,” with a tea bag or a cozie–once I look up what that is exactly. It’s PERFECT for fall. A little pumpkin something maybe too… Hmmm. I will undoubtedly spend an hour lying in bed thinking about this tonight. 😛 You’re superb!

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      • a nice “bookmark” could work too.
        And just to keep the ideas going – try to find one of those “liquidation stores” – they have different ones in different towns – like “Where ye bin?” and “Bins and Bargains” – because they have some really cheap days where items are a quarter or you can fill a bag for a certain price – and they often have misc things – and I can imagine you might find trinkets that could go with your book.
        —

        Liked by 1 person

      • well they are not everywhere – and many close down – but try to do a search for some and then maybe try to visit some.
        We had a few nearby that were called “Dirt Cheap” but they were terrible – packed with stuff – but a headache because of bad organizing and confusing prices.
        ***
        But even if you buy something in bulk on Amazon it could be worth it.
        For example, I once bought a goody bag of stuff (silent auction) and mainly because it had a shea butter soap in it. Something I love but also would be a potential gift item – and I am often on the lookout for small little goodies to keep in this bin – comes in handy for b-days and other holidays.
        __
        So I guess just putting some psychology into what might go thru someone’s mind as you whip out your book to entice a sale.
        __
        “In marketing, offering a small extra item to encourage a purchase is known as a value-added incentive or a premium offer. This strategy enhances the appeal of the main product by including a bonus—such as a teabag or coffee cup with a book—at no additional cost to the customer. These extras can also be referred to as gifts with purchase (GWP) or part of a bonus pack, and are designed to increase perceived value, create a more engaging customer experience, and ultimately drive sales. When the additional item complements the main product, it can also be seen as part of a thoughtful bundle, further strengthening the appeal.”

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  28. I think certain people develop that “sales” personality and it quickly becomes second nature for them to chat someone up about buying a product, whether it is their own, or the company they represent. It was never something I developed, which immediately ruled out a career in sales…just fine by me. Based on your post, I definitely think you will find your footing with self-promotion, especially since you already are good at putting yourself in the shoes of the people you are interacting with. Knowing your audience is a winning sales strategy.

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  29. OMG, I could have written that post!!! I’m so bad at selling my book! I love the story of the woman thanking you for her free signed copy! 😉

    hang in there! ❤️

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  32. I’m with you, Ilsa. Sales has never been and will never be my thing. Either it’s the lack of confidence in the product (which shouldn’t be a problem for you!) or it’s the perception that salespeople are generally a little slimy as they chase the almighty dollar. You aren’t slimy, so its stands to reason sales doesn’t agree with you 😉

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    • That’s a good way to put it, Dave. Years ago, Hubby was offered a sales job. I don’t remember of what, but I asked him to please not take it because I couldn’t stand the thought of being married to a salesman. He remained a teacher, which probably pays far less, but at least I can still live with him. 😛

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    • Thanks, Diane. I’ve already looked into farmers markets, as those are common around here. They won’t work for me, but I’ll keep searching for outlets. Thank you! (Also, my daughter made twice-baked potatoes tonight. You would be proud! 🙂 )

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      • Oooh devious! I like it! Actually, Diane, get this! I made both your salsa chicken and your zesty Italian chicken, and they were both a hit! See?! I CAN do it! With your help, of course. 😛

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  36. I feel your chagrin, discomfort and eye-rolling … I would absolutely be giving away more than selling. And this is me coming from a Marketing background. Perhaps this is why I retired so many decades ago.

    My other Released-a-Book-in-September friend was just telling me her eye-rolling stories about self-promotion. Publishers just expect the author to do so much …

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    • You retired from marketing. That’s funny, Ju-Lyn. And here I was hoping you could give me tips. Probably your biggest advice would be: run! But that’s your advice for everything. 😉

      Give my regards to your other Released-a-Book-in-September friend. I feel for her. 🙂

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      • My other Released-a-book-in-September friend hired a young person to manage her social media accounts. The pace is relentless! And she is not even doing a sequel. I can’t imagine the pace at which you have to work, plus manage all the publicity tours, etc etc.

        Took me a split second to process “Run!!!” But then I am rolling on the ground (at least in my head). Breathe deeply, my friend. Hang in there!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow. Your friend is doing it right. I’m not doing much of anything. Publicity tours? As if. Dang, I feel like such a slacker.

        I’m so glad my “run” joked kicked in. 😉

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  37. I get this 100%! I’ve given away literally hundreds of books because, in part, I didn’t have it in me to ask for money, but also because I was so dumbfoundingly grateful that someone showed interest in my art that I wanted to pay them for their time. It’s an insane level of insecurity that I will wrestle with for the rest of my life. It sucks to feel unworthy in an economy where confidence is currency. All we can do is keep writing! Here’s wishing you massive sales!

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  38. What the hell? Look at all these comments about selling, leveraging, and getting the word out. It’s not easy but remember people tend to do what is asked of them, “Would you like to BUY my book,” is a great start, then add, “It comes with an invisible ink pen!” So fun. So here’s a quick question. If you’re invisible, but you put on blood red lipstick, can you see the lips? This is what I’m currently noodling on. Love your book, can’t put it down, except when you redirected me here. I’m refilling my coffee and I’m back at it. Thanks for the lovely shout out although now people think I’m worse than a used car salesperson (not meant to be derogatory about people who sell cars – it a metaphor!). It’s okay, most authors all end up in the same place, broke but deliriously happy. Hugs, C

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    • “Would you like to BUY my book? Would you like to BUY my book? Would you like to BUY my book?” –I’m going to just keep muttering that to myself until it comes out at an appropriate time. Invisible ink pen is hilarious! I must remember this! Looking forward to being broke and deliriously happy with you!

      Liked by 1 person

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