Apr24

I had a decision to make

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I had a decision to make

Should I cut back on Jiu-Jitsu or not?

Me with HRH/Mrs. Instructor, posted on the gym’s Instagram.

The biggest stressor in my life right now is an impossible deadline to finish book two of my YA trilogy. The editor said I should submit the sequel when book one is in presale. That’s possibly in September. Zero chance I’ll be done by then–with draft 1 and 2, maaayyybe, but the final, at least 20th, draft? Not a chance.

I need more time. There’s the job, the kids, the house, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, checking 2nd grade math homework, etc. Something has to give. You may have already noticed blogging has mostly “given,” as in, I’ve not been around much.

There’s also the book reading. I have three for which I need to write reviews. And my boss wants me to clean up transcripts of interviews she’s done and compile them into a book.

She and I were at a conference recently where, at the “VIP poolside dinner,” I met a woman with the most intriguing story that includes seven years of homelessness before a radical transformation. When dinner was over and everyone stood, I ran to her side of the table and said, “You are so amazing. Will you please be my friend?”

She laughed and suggested we do coffee sometime. She lives two hours away, so the plan is to meet in the middle. I’ll be darned if that woman’s story isn’t ripe for a book, and I’d love to write it.

Another woman at the conference mentioned needing help writing a non-fiction book, so of course I told her I’d help and guide her through the publishing process. It turns out she, at least, only lives two towns away. We’ve spoken several times and are becoming fast friends.

There’s also the memoir omnipresent on my mind. It would be the easiest to complete–just slap my martial arts posts into a word doc and smooth in the cracks with further memories. But, not enough time. Plus, I become increasingly less cool to my young adult audience for the novels with each passing year; whereas, for the memoir’s audience, I become cooler for doing martial arts the older I get. That helps prioritize.

And that other thing…

When we were leaving for a family hike recently, I remembered my ankle brace too late and didn’t want to make everyone wait in the car while I ran back inside. I woke up in the wee hours that night with my ankle on fire. As I lay there, I thought back to the conversations I’ve had with my three 60-something former martial artist lady friends who all warned me my injuries would only get worse with time.

Am I making future me super irritated with present day me?

I’ve already resigned myself to a life of chronic foot pain thanks to years of running, jumping, and kicking across a hard floor barefoot for Taekwondo. I had no way of knowing maybe that wasn’t such a good idea at my age.

I’ve also accepted looking foolish wearing formal wear on top and ugly functional shoes on bottom, hoping anyone who notices figures it’s because of foot problems. Sometimes I look longingly at cute shoes or boots for sale before remembering I can’t wear them. (On the plus side, my daughters have happily raided my shoe supply.)

The insides of my shoes crack me up.

And though the ankle pain flows in waves of good times and bad, I’m aware that eventually one of these bad times may not give way to the good.

Then there’s the fact that I’m already investing money in marketing for this forthcoming novel. So maybe cutting back on Jiu-Jitsu would free my time, relieve some ankle pain, and save a little money.

I woke up resolved to make the change to my Jiu-Jitsu plan. After an appropriate, professional subject line, in the body of the email, I wrote, “This is really hard. I don’t want to do this.” My fingers hovered, motionless above the keys. I closed the portal. I couldn’t go through with it. I did not want to give an inch on my escape hatch, even though it was only going from three days a week down to two.

But two days later, I again woke up knowing I had to do what I had to do. I sent the email, attended class that night, and halfway through it, was already regretting my decision.

The change sets in soon, and I know I’ll be dealing with grief on those nights I’m usually in class. I’ll probably be watching the clock, knowing when I’d normally be grabbing my gi and racing to class because running late is the only speed I travel in.

So then today I got a speeding ticket. Not on the way to class, but to the dentist, which feels like insult to injury, as though a dentist appointment isn’t punishment enough already?

Not only do I have a fine to pay, I have to take traffic safety school to keep the hit off my insurance. So, I’m losing time and money at a period when I’m striving to get back some of both.

Sigh.

At least my feet and ankle were no worse for wear. And my teeth received a glowing review. I don’t think I could’ve handled bad news just then.

Late “night-mode” convo with HRH.

Also, by some terrible design flaw, my desk is in the living room. Not even the “calming study music” in my headphones can drown out the bickering of my two youngest children in the kitchen. I desperately need a laptop but am holding out for Memorial Day sales. Recommendations welcome.

To borrow a line from my beloved blog buddy Andrew, if you need me, I’ll be writing, or attending traffic school.

Old Q: Smithfield, Westphalian, and Serrano refer to specific regional preparations of ham!

New Q: Convicted murderer Gary Gilmore’s final words before execution by firing squad inspired ad man Dan Wieden’s 1988 creation, this famous three-word slogan.

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61 responses »

  2. Now I can comment on your post… it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and, since they aren’t making more hours in the day (I checked, they aren’t), some things have to go, even for just a little while. I also struggle finding the time for everything (and I don’t have a job, kids, or Jiu-Jitsu classes). You just have to decide where to invest your time. Good luck. Sorry about the speeding ticket… that sucks.

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    • Haha! Love the way you prioritized, not that I blame you. Thank you for commiserating. And yeah, stupid speeding ticket, though I know I deserved it. It’s kind of a wonder I haven’t gotten more! 😛

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  3. I know I’ve said this before, but quit while you’re not too far behind (at this point you’ll never get ahead). Your kids don’t want you to be “that mom” with the walker at 55.

    Getting a ticket AND having to take classes? Man, it’s like you’re a teenager all over again, but without any of the positives like unlimited energy, knowing everything AND always being right 😉

    As for blogging, it seems like you’ve put it in it’s proper place. It’s a nice hobby, but it IS just a hobby. And that’s coming from a guy who blogs almost every day.

    As for the trivia, I had no idea, so I googled it. Wow. Who knew that phrase came from a killer? Thankfully, I’ve always been a combat boots/hoka sneakers guy, so my buying habits won’t change over that bit of info 😉

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    • Your footwear habits won’t change over that bit of trivia info. Ha! That’s good. Yeah, crazy origin story for that, or what?

      Quitting, Booky?! Never! I’ll not be using a walker when I’m 55! I’ll let my son push me in a wheelchair instead. Then I can wear whatever snazzy otherwise uncomfortable footwear I choose!

      And I’m confused by your second paragraph. The energy bit I get, but I DO know everything and AM always right, so… ??

      😉

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  6. How about writing a book about a Jiu-jitsu traffic school?

    I find that the older I get, the more I value the fashion sense of orthopedic shoes. Just last week at the Men’s breakfast at church we had a little fashion show to show off the best stylish orthopedic footwear, knee braces and how to use baggy Hawaiian shirts to hide a back brace. I mean, who knew that Dave had both ankle braces and custom orthotics in those fancy looking running shoes.

    and “Let’s do it” became, “Just do it.” Which has always made me feel weird when buying Nike shoes …

    Well, if you need me, I’ll be out in the garden testing my new plantar fasciitis shoe inserts.

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    • A book about a Jiu-Jitsu traffic school? Great! Now I have three books to write. Thanks a lot, Andrew!

      Wow. Good for Dave. He pulls it off so well.

      Nice job on the trivia. Yeah, I can see how ignorance would be a little blissful there.

      And thank you for allowing me to steal your line. This is at least the second time I’ve done so. It’s just so good!

      Finally, just for you: My son informed me that the neighbors’ cat was outside in case I wanted to pet her. Did I! I went out, and she came right up to me, purring and brushing against me. Either she’s just very friendly, or she can sense a cat lover when she sees one. I was honored either way. 🙂

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  12. Get a laptop sooner than later. It saves so much time! I work remotely and it’s so nice to be able to squeeze in some work anywhere. In the train, waiting at the dentist… Anywhere really. Haven’t used a desktop computer in many years.

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  13. No decision has to be a permanent one. And nothing wrong with taking a break — especially if the thing you are taking a break from is causing you physical pain. In my own way, I have the same issue right now. I have to give something up or severely lessen it, but it is so hard for to decide. I keep hoping fate will step in somehow and make the decision for me. Maybe your ankle is fate stepping in and making the decision for you. But what do I know? (Nothing). Good luck. I look forward to reading about what you decided.

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  14. Wow. With all that on your plate I’m amazed you find time to blog. I hate that you have to give up something you love doing, but as someone with a blown knee and bunions.. I hear you. Future mobility is an issue.
    Traffic safety class? Ugh. We’re you doing 110 in a 45? Damn.

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  15. A speeding ticket on the way to the dentist! I just can’t see any fairness in that AT ALL. My sympathies. I know that the ability to walk in the future has been a motivating principle in my life. I want my 80 y.o. self to thank my current self for how I lived. As for blogging, I miss seeing you in my comments but I understand.

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    • Thank you on the dentist thing, right? I told him I was trying to get to my dentist appointment. He should have said, “Whoops! My bad. On your way then.” But, no. 😉 I guess I should think more about walking in the future. That does seem like it would be a neat skill. I’ll still get around to blogs here and there. I’d miss what’s happening in your life and have a snark deficiency otherwise! Thank you for still being here, AB. 🙂

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  16. I feel this. I had to give up dancing, then volleyball, due to time and muscular/orthopedic issues. Now I have to trade in long walks with my dog for laps in the pool. It really sucks, and my mobility is undoubtedly going to degenerate further. I hope you can take some Advil, at least. And I can’t believe you got a speeding ticket–so rare for cops to ticket in CA. Is the slogan “Just do it?”

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    • Awh, I’m sorry Autumn. I feel for you. (Though swimming doesn’t sound half bad. I’ll keep that in mind… if I ever get a pool.)
      It’s rare for cops to ticket around here? I didn’t know that.
      And yes on the trivia!

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  17. It sounds like you’re drowning! I’ll send a life vest! Holy cow, when it rains, it pours. I empathize with the foot issues. Come summer, I’m the one who is always wearing my Skecher tennis shoes instead of cute sandals. Between the bunion, the corn, and feet that blister with just 6 yards of walking, call me OLD!

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    • Awh, dang, Bijioux. I’m sorry for all your foot trouble. Hoka at least makes sandals I can wear in the summer. They’re probably not the best because I can’t also include inserts for padding and arch support, but I hate when my feet get hot in the summer in tennis shoes. It’s so uncomfortable. Currently these sandals are my shower shoes so I don’t have to keep sitting on the floor of the shower. That was a different sort of pain. I feel old too.

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  18. Hmmmm. I really don’t know how you can squeeze all that activity in one day! My ankle is twinging in solidarity for you. Deep breath in, and out, in and out (I know, I know, you have many things to get to, but just take a minute), in and out.

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  20. Your summer deadline is a big looming one and if only you could clone yourself or function on no sleep. I don’t envy the hard choices you have to make with your time other than to wish you good health, energy and wisdom – as you get towards the finish line of this big milestone!

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  21. Let’s start with the trivia: Where’s the Beef? 🤣
    Don’t you just love being pulled in 64 different directions? Ah, modern life…
    So sorry about this difficult decision with jiu jitsu. Ugh. But you can up it in the future when other demands lighten up, yes?
    So sorry about the speeding ticket. I have no happy follow-up words for that one.

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    • Your trivia guess would be a hilarious thing to say just before dying. Sadly, incorrect. Think shoes instead, sort of ironically now that I think about it since I talk about shoes in this post.

      Yes, I can up my classes again. I sort of don’t think once I cut back I’ll be able to re-up. I suspect life will fill the void. Just a feeling. Maybe I’ll be wrong. Would be nice if I’m wrong.

      As someone else so eloquently commented: speeding tickets suck. Yup. That’s about all there is to it. 😛 Thanks, TTA.

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  22. Dan Wieden, Wieden + Kennedy, famous Portland ad agency, Nike, “Just Do It.” Pretty easy…unless you’re like the 89th person to comment because you’ve been out of the loop for a few days. Oh well.

    I don’t even have time to work on my novel, and I’ve got maybe 1/3 as many things going on in my life as you. I have no idea how you squeeze it all in!

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  24. I’m several days late to this party. I read your post two days ago and again today, so you get two likes from me. 🙂

    I feel for you. It’s hard being pulled in so many directions. My opinion: Family first. Also, your book sequel has a deadline and is more important than new projects.

    As for Jiu-jitsu, I think you are smart cutting back from three to two days. Once some of your projects/commitments clear up, you might find you can go back to three days at some time. Although I must say … as one who beat the snot out of her body playing racquetball, I have certainly suffered for it in my later years. Two blown disks at the base of my spine, nerve damage in my shoulder, and arthritis in hips and knees. Everyone told me I would “pay for it later,” but I didn’t care and didn’t give an inch. They were right – I paid for it. However, I will say that eating carnivore has eliminated all pain in my body, and I no longer have to get the cane out!

    Sorry about the speeding ticket and traffic school. That was a tough one! You’ll figure this out. I know you will.

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  25. I’m even later to the party, but I couldn’t pass up a comment about CA traffic school. I totally deserved the one CA speeding ticket I received, way-y-y-y back in 1992. I drove my Alfa Romeo Spider convertible (early-life crisis) too fast in an elementary school zone. Bet I made that cop’s day as he slapped the ticket on a beautiful car and youngish driver. As for the CA traffic school I earned to keep my record clean? It was how I spent my fifth wedding anniversary instead of wining/dining my wife. She’ll never let me forget it.

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    • LOL on that last part. And, man, that sounds like a great car, almost like it NEEDED to get a speeding ticket. I’d say that part was worth it. I’d kind of rather it not have been just for going too fast in a school zone. If it were me, I would’ve floored it just for the thrill of it and taken my ticket gladly. 😛 Me getting ticketed in a minivan is just lame.

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