Feb4

Betsy the Sub

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Betsy the Sub

My kids’ school was desperate, so I was asked to substitute teach high school.

Teacher Betsy. I think the fuzzy sweater really sells it.

But under the long skirt…

I literally dusted off my combat boots for this because that seemed appropriate.

The first class was physics. My mom, not a science/math person, suggested I text her if I had questions. She’s hilarious.

The teacher made it easy on me by sending links to YouTube vids about Higgs Boson, Pauli Exclusion Principle, fermions, bozons… I watched the kids’ heads drop to their desks one by one. A couple were at least putting up a fight before succumbing to slumber.*

My instructions were to let them have a study hall after the videos. I knew that would likely amount to boisterous talking and/or melee, so I instead asked, “Do you want to watch Studio C (a funny, clean sketch comedy show) or learn self defense?”

“Self defense!” they said unanimously and pretty much in unison.

“Who wants to be my first victim? Sorry, autocorrect. I meant to say ‘volunteer.'” I got some smiles for that.

A girl raised her hand and came to the front. I grabbed her wrist, not very tight, and told her to free herself. She tried several methods, including the ones shouted by her classmates, to no avail.

Then I showed her the jiu-jitsu way. You push your elbow toward the person, bringing your hand toward your ear. “Answer the phone,” I said, “and your hand pops out.”

Next I asked who was the strongest kid in the class. After some brief debate, their champion was chosen. He came to the front, and I told him to hold tight. “Tighter. Tighter. Tighter,” I said.

This time it was an inverted grip, slightly more challenging to escape. On my first try, I failed, and there was a snicker or two, but that was a good teachable moment.

“If the first method doesn’t work, make a fist with the hand of the wrist being held then grab it with your other hand.” Then I escaped. “You give yourself more leverage,” I explained.

My wrist hurt, for sure, especially because I repeated this in 9th grade lit class, but, totally worth it. These kids, girls especially, need to know this stuff. I wish I had had more time with them. Maybe they’ll request me to sub again. 😉

Okay, are you ready for the aftermath? Here it comes. Y’all already know I’m crazy, right? ‘Kay. Just reminding you.

Yes, there’s a scratch too.

There are also two small bruises on the other side, but, meh. I’ve discovered that bruises happen without me even noticing. But bumps… those suckers are palpable.

All in the line of duty.

Many of you were so sweet with my last post, leaving comments along the lines of, “I feel bad ‘liking’ a post about you getting bruises.” I feel the love, guys, and it’s all good.

You also offered some fun alternatives to calling bruises “training marks”:

  • warrior battle marks
  • badges of honor
  • warrior kisses
  • bruises of honor

Which is your favorite? Imma go with the first one. (Thanks, Beth!)

I also got a fantastic comment two posts ago from Dave:

“I think you should have one of those double-door wardrobes for nothing but your gi, with inside lighting that progresses slowly from dark to bright just after you open the doors. The gi would rest perfectly on a single hanger, just beckoning you to wear it.”

Youngest Daughter, having heard me share this with Hubby, soon sent me an email with a video attached. I’ll have to break it down into four pieces.

Isn’t she amazing? Kids, I tell ya!

A couple of said children did a small task for me on Neighbor’s birthday. I asked them to sneak a little something-something into her yard. A few hours later, I got a text from her with a video taken from her front window, zooming in on this, accompanied by laughter and a thank you.

Remember when I came home from Betsy’s Birthday Band Bash and discovered this?

I was unsure if putting it in her yard for her birthday would be funny or seen as, essentially, regifting. Hubby said funny. What do you say? I hope you all agree with him. I was a tad nervous.

And finally, more things that delight my heart: the support of my instructors’ wives.

Mrs. Sensei said she “enjoys my blog immensely.” Garsh. Thank you.

And, after my pick me up post, this from Mrs. Instructor, pleased to have been mentioned:

Oh, girl. I’m honored to know you! (And guess what song I’m currently listening to. 😉 )

Now that the mushy stuff is over, here’s your trivia question:

“Forcing the city gates” and “octopus tag” are alternative names for this breaking-the-chain running game.

I had forgotten this game even existed. I wonder if anyone plays it anymore. I did as a kid. Who else has, if you can guess the answer? And please tell me what you thought of the flamingo thing. Thanks. 🙂

* There were only a few kids who put their heads down. On the whole, I was super impressed with these students. Their school is straight-up amazing, and the teachers do a fantastic job with their formation.

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56 responses »

  1. I’ll admit that when I saw your title, “betsy-the-sub” I was thinking submarine and wondering how you got into a submarine. Then I thought, maybe she got a job making sandwiches … subbing for high school physics is an interesting twist and actually makes sense. I mean there’s a lot of physics in jiu-jitsu – force, acceleration, body’s in motion stay in motion, etc. Not sure that studying Higgs Bosons directly correlates to in how to inflict a bruise on the sub teacher, but I’m likely just missing something.

    Next time you could have the class calculate the force delivered on a body being thrown by a jiu-jitsu person with a black belt. Of course they’d have to get their basic data from experimentation by throwing their friends against accelerometers and such instrumentation.

    Just a random thought — let me know if you need ideas for more lesson plans …

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. This comment will not be on topic, but… is there some new trend to photograph your feet in your shoes looking down on them? I’m seeing this all over the place in the last few weeks, have considered doing it because I am a lemming. Please tell me if you know anything about this.

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      • OMG, I literally, literally! moved from here to facebook and the very top pic was looking down on someone’s shoes. Wow. The odds! It didn’t seem to be purposely on trend but to show these new “storm trooper” shoes (because they were bulky and white). Too funny.

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  15. Ahh, this explains your flamingo comment. Somehow, this post never popped up on my feed (or I somehow missed it…been busy dodging tornados and whatnot). I love it when random flamingos show up in my yard!

    Also, the fuzzy red sweater is becoming. It makes you look very substitute teacher-ish. In fact, I’m not used to seeing you dressed in anything but white.

    If I were in charge of that class, I’d have put on a few episodes of “Big Bang Theory” and called it good!

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  16. No kidding around on this comment, Betsy. It was brave enough you volunteered to be a high school sub but THEN you elevated the perception of “sub” by passing along a life skill? Those kids are gonna talk about that “class” for weeks AND, they’ll have slightly more anticipation the next time a sub walks into the room. You’re a do-gooder!

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  20. Your outfit was a bit deceiving. Made you look so “boring teacher.” But they soon found out you were anything but boring. 🙂 I think the game you are talking about was called (at least in my day) Red Rover. We would line up in two separate rows. We would call “Red Rover, send (kid’s name) over. That person would then run as hard as they could and try to break through the other team who were holding hands. Goodness – if that’s the game you are talking about – It has been 65 years since I played that!

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  21. LOL Of course, Physics and Lit classes morphed into Self-Defense training. I’ll bet no one fell asleep though!! Maybe you should just teach self-defense as a club, Betsy. (I totally agree that girls need to know this stuff – one out of 4 women in the US will face some kind of assault in their lives). And the bruises? At this point, they’re almost a given. Lol. 🙂

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