Jan19

An unexpected pick-me-up

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An unexpected pick-me-up

I was having an Andy Dwyer moment.

If you haven’t watched Parks and Recreation, Andy is the endearing yet not so smart character played by Chris Pratt. In one episode he’s trying to win over the girl he likes, April. A friend tries to help him formulate a plan by asking, “What are your skills?”

Andy responds, “I’m nice. I’m in a band.” The friend waited for more, but that was the extent of Andy’s CV.

I feel on par with Andy. I’m one of those things. The other, no one in their right mind would have me do.

Side note: I was recently telling a friend I had zero musical ability. “I like to dance, though,” I said.

She perked up. “Really? What kind?”

Evidently she was expecting salsa, swing, ballet, heck, even tap would probably do.

“Uh, just to music I like.”

She turned her attention to someone else.

Probably a good thing I didn’t mention head banging.

So, I’m sticking with “nice,” and some people think I’m funny. That’s two. I have to accept that Jiu-Jitsu is not in my skill list, despite how much I wish it would be.

Here’s an opportunity to use two of those 149 pics I’ve been stockpiling. I spotted this and another t-shirt two years ago and snapped pics in case I ever had cause to mention Parks and Rec. I hope fellow fans will appreciate them.

Mouse Rat just happens to be the name of Andy’s band!

I saw Instructor’s wife at his seminar. I asked if her daughter was able to wear the onesie I got for her over a year ago.

“Yes! Did [Instructor] not show you a picture?” she said.

I shook my head. We both looked at him. He suddenly found his feet fascinating.

Later on, I found her on Instagram and did the adult female equivalent of a boy asking a girl out for the first time and hit the follow button. It was a bold move. Would she follow me back?

She did! And sent a picture of her little girl in the onesie.

Oh my gosh, you guys, the cuteness. I’m not going to post someone else’s child on my public blog, so picture Pebbles Flintstone wearing this:

But a thousand times cuter with a toothy grin and a blonde pigtail.

Then “Mrs. Instructor,” to keep my naming system consistent, dropped this on me:

Holy crap, she reads my blog!

There’s always a momentary panic when I learn someone I know IRL has read or is reading my blog. Finding out Sensei did was the worst. Why did I ever alert him to its existence? For a while, I was a little more cautious of what I shared on here. But at this point, I’m like, meh, whatever, Sensei. Read it and weep, or laugh, or whatever you want to do.

Mrs. Sensei outed herself as a secret frequent flyer when she taught class because Sensei was out of town. Twice she referred to him literally as “Sensei” and once called herself “Mrs. Sensei”! I had a little private chuckle at that.

Anyhow, back to the incredibly sweet Mrs. Instructor who also wrote:

This was almost too much. They actually talk about me? They think I’m fun?!

Take that, Andy! Now I’ve got THREE things!

So, to tie in the title of this post, she was my unexpected pick-me-up when I needed one the most. (Thank you, Mrs. Instructor!)

But seriously, it would take probably another ten months of Jiu-Jitsu to make it a fourth thing. In last night’s class, I was going through the motions of going through the motions. Really, I was a test dummy for Sensei. He was helping me more than the other way around. And that’s fine, I guess. He’s enjoying himself, liking the exercise, and called this a valuable skill to learn. He appreciated me being his partner, willing to stay after to keep drilling the moves so he can get them down better.

Just to break things up, here’s the other Parks and Rec shirt. If you watched the show, you get it.
Two pics down, 147 to go.

The irony of remembering Instructor waaaaaaay forever ago telling me I ought to invite my Taekwondo teacher to Jiu-Jitsu. At the time I thought I could never. Now I feel like my greatest value in Sensei’s life is that I’ve introduced him to this new joy.

When we were lined up at the start of class, Sensei whispered to me, “Remember, you’re not in the NFL.”

I took a deep breath and looked away. That one stung. It was a reminder of my lousy first class. Later Sensei threw another barb at me, which my brain has apparently sensibly chosen to forget. I drew in a breath and just looked at him.

“What? If I don’t insult you at least once a day you’ll think there’s something wrong with me.”

He clearly doesn’t get that this is difficult for me, and his remarks aren’t helping. It also seems that when they sting, I don’t react physically, but when he says something stupidly snarky that doesn’t go below the surface, I punch him.

Interesting.

Before our first class, I envisioned that WHEN he said something mean to me, I would respond with, “Really? You’re going to antagonize me here? Look around, buddy. This is Jiu-Jitsu. You’re in my world now.” But now he knows that’s an empty threat.

By the way, Instructor said nothing to me in last night’s class, good or bad. Good would’ve been nice; bad probably would’ve broken me. Once or twice I heard him say, “Good, [Sensei]!” from halfway across the room. (Hilarious if he had actually called him Sensei. Hearing people, including Surfer Dude, refer to him by his first name is weird. I don’t even do that. He’ll forever be Mr. [Sensei] to me.)

Whether Instructor never saw me perform or by some teacherly instinct knew he ought not critique me, I’ll never know. But I was glad of it. I take enough grief from Sensei.

To end on a higher note, I’m also following a Jiu-Jitsu buddy on Instagram who has been at Instructor’s place since the dawn of time, as far as I can tell. I don’t talk about him much, but I think I named him Blue Belt back in the day when there were few of those. Now the place is awash in blue. The classes have grown by leaps and bounds, or leg sweeps and arm bars, if you will.

Blue Belt posted this yesterday:

This was just the cutest thing ever (other than Baby Instructor in the pink onesie, of course).

Blue Belt happened to be standing next to me at one point so I remarked to him, “Oh my gosh, that kitten!” Instantly knowing what I was referring to, because I had commented on his picture, he laughed, which was the best entertainment. His laugh is a cross between that of a little kid and a cartoon character. I wish you could hear it.

Y’all, I’m suddenly using this blog as an online diary to record how I’m feeling about everything. This was much longer than my usual posts. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Going forward, if there are a bunch of these sorts of posts, I will excuse my regulars from your seeming obligation to like and comment. It’s cool. I get it.

And if anyone else I know in real life is reading this blog, just tell me now and get it over with!

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58 responses »

  9. A growth chart for a pet is definitely something I’ve never seen before. Cute and funny! I think I’d freak out if someone I know IRL read my blog. Well, except for you, Betsy 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Yes on all three. Cute growth chart, freaking out (as I clearly already did), and once you’ve made friends with someone via blog FIRST, meeting IRL seems perfectly legit. The other way around is when it gets weird. I trust you’re well now, I hope!

      Like

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  10. The husband has that MouseRat shirt. So many hilarious Andy moments. The whole episode in which he and April complete his bucket list is especially memorable.
    I sometimes find out that a friend or acquaintance or spouse of a friend reads my blog and it always shocks me.

    Liked by 1 person

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      • We actually discuss that sometimes in our house: Who’s the best male character on Parks and Rec. Every time I say the same thing: I genuinely can’t make up my mind among the main four men-Ron, Ben, Andy, and Tom. With Seinfeld it’s almost as hard, but for us, George just edges out the others. Oh and back to Ron. I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but our friends/neighbors have a daughter who once dated a boy who also lives in this neighborhood. She once went to dinner with her boyfriend and his parents and Nick Offerman! Turns out the parents went to school with Nick and they remain great friends. Apparently Nick and wife Megan (Tammy 2) come to MY NEIGHBORHOOD in Minnesota to visit their friends. I guess they go “up north” with them sometimes, too. Gosh how I’d love to run into him at the store! Of course, you live in CA so you probably see Brad Pitt at the bakery and Nicole Kidman at the car parts store, but for a Midwesterner, it’s kind of a big deal! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re hilarious. CA is big. I don’t live in Hollywood. And that is a fantastic story about Nick. These are great married couple debates. We also do: Which character would you be if you were in such and such show.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. what this isn’t Real Life?
    I think your list is a little short. You’re, funny, a world class blogger, author, made TV appearances, and know far more about Jiu-Jitsu than I ever will, which makes you my subject matter expert on Jiu-Jitsu.

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. I’m pretty sure you have more than three items on your CV. Bar trivia and Halloween costumes are two that come to mind.

    Although I’ve met quite a few bloggers IRL, I really hesitate letting people I’ve known first IRL about my blog (wait, does that make sense sentence structure wise?). There are a few but mostly I like to keep what I write on my blog within the bloggy world.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Yes, keeping the blog world and real world separate makes sense to me. The only exception is meeting blog buds IRL because you were blog buds first. Other way around just feels weird. Doable, but still weird. It’s like, would I have said these things to a friend face to face? Easier to bare your soul online to the nameless, faceless masses. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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  15. Parks & Rec is the best! I’d love to get my hands on a Mouse Rat t-shirt. It would be fun to see how many people got the reference.

    A little bit like my “That’s what cheese said” shirt, come to think of it…

    Next time you’re letting us off the hook, maybe lead with that information. I had a potato I could have been mashing. (I kid. I like posts like this!)

    Like

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  16. I’m smiling at this glimpse into how your mind processes things. I do enjoy nice people whenever I find them, so hang onto the good vibes. I watched Parks & Rec, but not regularly. Don’t know the meaning of this t-shirt, but if it makes you happy, so be it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Thanks, AB. The T-shirts made a few people happy, at least. (And now I’ve been able to delete them from the folder! Yay!)

      I’m very relieved to know that your glimpse into how my mind works makes you smile. There are so many alternative reactions that would be way worse. 😛

      Thanks, friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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  17. You and my son have brought up “Parks and Rec” in the last matter of weeks as if front-page news, to which I ask, is the show worth streaming years after the fact? Does it hold up over time? Can’t remember when or in what I’ve seen Amy Poehler but she’s entertaining enough. We’re more about dramas than sitcoms but I’d trust a Betsy rec (assuming it’s actually a rec). Also, the comment about being in a band – “…no one in their right mind would have me do.” – was LOL. I mean, pretty much all of us feel that way but you got the words j-u-s-t right, and presto! Uncontrollable laughter 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Ah, Dave, you flatter me. I live but to entertain, my friend. Thanks for getting me. As to Parks and Rec, the first season (only 6 episodes) is definitely skippable. Then there are some other episodes I would hop over if I were to watch the series again. On the whole, it was enjoyable. I don’t know your style, so it’s hard to say I “recommend” it. It’s no doubt not for everyone. I very much enjoyed a Korean drama with English subtitles called Crash Landing on You. I did manage to convince a friend to try it, and, though it took a while for him to get into it, he’s grateful he did. So, there’s that too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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