Aug18

On physical therapy and self defense

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Physical therapy for my knee injury went well. It was helpful, but I ran out of sessions before getting to complete mobility. I’m on my own now.

I said my thanks and goodbyes, as I genuinely liked the people at this place. They were amiable and fun to chat with, to the point where I felt we were truly becoming friends.

And I enjoy being friendly and nice to people. I also enjoy the thought of beating someone up.

Humans are complicated beings.

My previous physical therapy place had this little display on the reception desk. I took several pics specifically with you all in mind.

The person I’d most like to show-what-for is, of course, Sensei. Because he’s always got it coming.

Remember when we went to trivia night? There was some discrepancy between our score and what we thought it ought to be. I wondered if I should ask the trivia lady about it.

“I don’t want to be obnoxious, though,” I said.

“Too late,” Sensei said.

I gave him a flat look. “You do realize that I TEACH Jiu-Jitsu now, right?”

He merely nodded.

In addition to the kids class the last two school years and the women’s class I started up on Saturday mornings, I did a two-week intensive self-defense camp for middle and high school girls this summer.

There were only seven of them, but that made it easier. They caught on to varying degrees, but all seemed to enjoy themselves. On the last day one asked if I’d be doing the class again next summer. I told her I probably would.

“I think it’s worth it,” she said, which was nice to hear.

When my time with them was running short, I reemphasized the most important things I wanted them to remember:

  • Situational awareness–don’t stare at your phone, look around, see who’s near, identify any potential threats, don’t ignore them and hope they’ll go away (that’s what they want), look them in the eye so they know you know they’re there. Keep them on your radar.
  • Walk with confidence, head high, shoulders back. Predators can sniff out the easy targets, ie girls with low self esteem.
  • I reminded them that by taking this class, they gained self-confidence that they could handle a threat. Just by virtue of this training, they made themselves less of a target.
  • And finally, though I hope this didn’t freak them out, I warned them that if a stranger ever paid them a compliment–a standard one being, “You have pretty eyes,” look right back at them and say, “Thank you.” Then be on your way. When a girl looks down or away shyly, they know she’s a good candidate.

It was a crappy thing to have to talk to them about, but better to know it and not need it than the alternative.

This being the first time I did the camp, I felt it could have gone smoother. Some days I was flying by the seat of my pants: “Oooh, let me show you this! No, wait, this first. Which reminds me I also want to tell you about this!” But in the end, I felt like I offered something valuable and was pleased I had done this.

I may not ever be able to take my usual Jiu-Jitsu classes again, and it kills me that it’s been 10.5 months since I have. But at least I’ve found some fulfillment in this.

And it might come in handy for my oldest daughter.

She reported some guy at work making her uneasy. I asked her to ID him for me so next time I could wear one of my martial arts shirts and have a little chat with him, starting with, “Hell-o, Patrick,” in my most threatening tone. (not his real name)

She said, “Yes, thank you. It’s a comfort to have a Jiu-Jitsu mom who will take care of this.” Ha!

Alright, now back to Sensei.

He made a comment recently about me having worn my knee brace backwards the whole time I was using it. (It’s a whole thing. Don’t get me started.) It was a biting blow, so I retaliated with this stunning salvo:

“You’re lucky it’s in my best interest to keep you healthy and whole. But that insurance policy expires the moment you hand me my black belt. Tick tock, buddy. Tick tock!”

I had to raise my voice toward the end because he dared to walk away from me as I delivered this blistering retort.

By the way, I now know Sensei reads my blog, no doubt because he loves seeing what I have to say about him. Rather than be embarrassed like I was initially, I’m just going to lean into it. Hi, Sensei! The clock is still ticking. Picture me narrowing my eyes at you.

Heehee.

Which picture did y’all like the best? And by the way, not too late to help out Sensei’s daughter, Coral. Even just a little something would be really nice of you. 🙂

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64 responses »

  2. “Situational awareness–don’t stare at your phone”

    YES, yes, so much this piece of advice to girls, women, everyone really. We live in a world that demands our attention to it, not a screen.

    I like the one about putting your whole self in. Naturally I lean toward also shaking all about when doing said.

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    • Haha. I would be utterly disappointed if you DIDN’T shake all about, AB! 😛

      Yes, our phones are kind of ruining us, aren’t they? And not just for defensive purposes. I feel sorry for the generations growing up addicted to phones. It’s sad the damage it does, particularly to girls with social media making them depressed and suicidal. Very scary stuff.

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    • I like broccoli too, actually, but I still found that one funny. Why does broccoli have such a bad rep? Maybe because Brussels sprouts is just too long to say? 😉

      Yes, I hope my advice to these young women was useful and that they’ll share it with their friends. Sad it needed to be said, but we live in an area of the country that’s a child trafficking hot spot. All the more reason… :/

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  6. Great advice to the young girls, Betsy. I have strong opinions about cell phones and the destructive influence they have on our society, both young and old. When out and about, or in the workplace, people are so engrossed in their phone they’re clueless to what’s going on around them. To me, they’re self-absorbed people who must live a lonely life. I can’t imagine spending more time with a cell phone screen than people. Sadly, I don’t see this ever changing. Good luck with the at home PT!

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    • I’m right there with you, Jill. I’ve read too many articles about the destructiveness of cell phones, particularly for girls. It’s depressing. Several times I’ve been in waiting rooms lately and everyone is staring at their phones. Meanwhile, my daughter and I had books. I do feel sorry for this and subsequent generations growing up glued to devices. :/

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      • So do I, Betsy. Before I retired, I remember walking down the hallway in my building and passing the younger folks with their faces in their phone. When I’d say, “Good morning,” they’d practically jump out of their skin. It’s a different world, for sure. I’m happy to hear you’ve set a good example for your daughter. Kudos to you!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Super sad that people on their phones jump when talked to. Ugh. Face palm!
        My daughters, ever the counter-cultural ones, loathe cell phones and will only use one for its most essential purpose:
        Wordle. JK! 😉

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  8. Spot on advice to the girls, Betsy, and I agree those items are important to discuss. Also hoping all is okay with your oldest daughter and work. I do hope you put a good scare into the guy!!
    And finally, I know I’m in the minority, but I happen to love broccoli! 🙂

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    • Actually several people, myself included, have expressed enjoyment of broccoli (for me, especially with soy sauce!), but I still appreciate the funny sign. 🙂
      Thanks for agreeing with me on the importance of informing those girls. I hate to have to do it, but someone has to, and that’s part of self defense, right?
      I’ve told my daughter what to say to the guy to give him the hint that she’s not interested. I think she’ll be okay. 🙂 If not, I’ll step in. 😉

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  9. I like the making it up ad you go along. Now that we’re both teachers, you can see that part of the job is improv and going with the flow, and that’s as it should be. I love that you did these classes, it will help so many and clearly your daughter is very proud of you!

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  11. I kind of tripped on the title here – physical therapy is one the places where I wouldn’t expect you’d need self-defense training. Maybe your PT lives in a rougher neighborhood than mine …

    I’m glad to hear you taught that class. So many people just have no awareness of what is going on around them. I remember from my time as a security guard how to keep an area secure by just looking big and mean. Well, sometimes it was just indigestion, but I could give a great, “Don’t mess with me look.”

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  12. Great story all around! Yay girls who can defend themselves!! Look up…be aware…confident walk…eye contact. Bug of bozos! Oh, and to Sensei, tick tock! 😁. Hi Coral!! ❤️❤️

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  13. Going along with that “don’t stare at your phone,” the husband recently referred to 13-19-year-olds as “screenagers.” Best portmanteau ever! I know he didn’t coin it, but it was the first time I’d ever heard it and now I’m going to use it regularly, like you’re supposed to when you’re trying to incorporate a new word into your vocabulary. Anyway, I digress. Well done for your accomplishments with the camps. You quite easily may have saved a life. (And all that advice is a good reminder for the rest of us who don’t have the good fortune to be able to attend your camp.) As for the inspirational signs, I like the “giant leaps into the unknown” one best, even if I don’t often, err, usually follow it. My least favorite one was about the broccoli. I love broccoli (except as a last name, like that late Hollywood film producer). I think it should say “liver” instead. Isn’t liver universally despised (except by the husband)?

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    • Haha. So true and hilarious about liver and the husband likes it. That must be universal too. I did actually have a friend who craved liver when pregnant. I tried to partake a little with her, and nope. No thank you. It’s funny what a reaction that broccoli sign is getting. So many people disagree, myself included. But I still thought it was a funny one.
      You are the queen of leaps into the unknown–well, with planning, I suppose. Your travels are amazing!
      And “screenagers” is brilliant. I will share and use that. It should catch on to hopefully make teens more aware and perhaps feel guilty enough to change their habits. A girl can dream, right? 🙂

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  14. Great post, Betsy. I have to say “Thank you” for your work with kids. It’s important, and you’re right that they’ll be safer for having taken your class. I’m glad you know that. And keep working on that knee! Have a great weekend and enjoy the rest of your summer. 🙂

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  16. So awesome to hear that you’re teaching self defense classes! I took one years ago my first quarter of college, and I still remember a lot of things. It was one of the most impactful (pun intended?) classes I ever took. Cheers!

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  17. Well, seeing as how I love broccoli and have never once in my entire life used a snooze button, I’d have to say I liked that whole leaping-into-the-unknown sign the best. But that won’t come as a shock to anyone who knows me.

    You guys in the path of Hilary?

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  23. Great that you have found something you can do that will benefit others. My favorite of your signs is ‘Make it up as you go along.” I think I have done that numerous times in my life. It kind of goes with my Dad telling me “Act like you know what you are doing and they will think you do.” My husband would agree with the broccoli comment as he hates broccoli.

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  24. But I like broccoli! 😀 Seriously, Betsy you’re helping the girls learn valuable lessons that should stand them in good stead in life. As if it isn’t bad enough being on the phone and totally unaware of what is going on, I worry about so many listening to music and equally oblivious to people, and events around them. My favourite of the sayings is hitting the snooze button – everyone is just too busy and needs to stop sometime! I’m equally guilty of these and treasure those snooze/downtime moments in life!

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    • I had no idea how many comments I would get about broccoli as a result of this post! Haha. Thanks your words of agreement/encouragement, Annika. And, yes, sometimes I wake up and just lie in bed for a while before getting up. It’s so nice to relax for a bit and ease into my day. Once I’m up, it’s pretty much non-stop. :/

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