Jun25

A Battle Mage is not a weapon

Posted on by
Standard
A Battle Mage is not a weapon

Where I live, microbreweries are more ubiquitous than Starbucks. So, when checking a map for a fun new place to try, I was drawn to one called Battle Mage.

I mean. It’s CALLED Battle Mage!!! Need I say more?

My friend sort of gets it.

I looked at pictures on-line and saw a similar picture to this, adding to my illusion that a battle mage was a Viking or Medieval weapon:

Can’t you see a huge hairy dude running into a fight wielding this puppy? But full-size? And also not a puppy because that would be horrible?

It wasn’t until shortly before our visit that it occurred to me, “Wait. Is this actually a Dungeons and Dragons thing?”

Oh, my friends, it was. It so very, very much was.

Hubs and I walked in to find four tables of people actively playing DnD, as I soon learned it’s written. And lemme just tell ya, the stereotypes are true.

There were a few who looked normal, but the rest definitely gave that “I live in my mom’s basement” vibe. Obesity is apparently a risk factor among this crowd. One large, long-haired “dungeon master” had a giant U-shaped sweat spot on his back. He must really get into the role.

At one point, I kissed Hubby. He said, “I’ll bet these guys are jealous I got kissed by a girl.”

We were the only non-players in the place, other than the bartender, who was disappointingly normal looking. But the place was fully decked out.

Apparently THIS is a Battle Mage, with colored cards from customers.
Wall of DnD character cards. Update: I’m told from a commenter that these are actually cards from a game called Magic. Another commenter informed me some individual cards are worth $100+!!
Close up, unfortunately blurry, as I zoomed in from afar so as not to disturb the players at the table below.
If anyone’s in the market for some artwork to redecorate their guest room…
I only know from watching Parks and Recreation that that’s the Game of Thrones chair.
Also off brand, but still appreciated.
Definitely fun.
Florescent light ceiling panel. This would be an ax and… magical tears, maybe?
A wand and potion, I’m guessing.
A sword and… mystical artichoke?

In addition to the row of DnD guide books, there was a bookshelf filled with board games. Since our friends couldn’t make it, Hubs and I read Trivial Pursuit cards to each other. Whenever we got an answer right, we’d grab an Uno card from the pile also randomly found in the game box.

When we were ready to leave, he was up 17-16. Not satisfied, I demanded we read one more card!

That plan backfired.

My two, on the right, were “Chaos Bolt” and “Hooded Assassin.” I chose them for the names. Turns out I’m not big on dark malty beers. The assassin was a bit hard to get down. Hubby helped.

So did the amazing SE Asian cuisine from the food tent outside.

Barbecue chicken, with a bite taken out. Sorry, I was hungry.
Pulled pork. Likewise, hungry.

The “buns” were soft, squishy, and fell apart almost immediately, but we were also given forks and abundant napkins. I eschewed the fork and happily licked my fingers clean.

When we were driving out, I rolled down my window as the cooks were packing up. “Your food is so delicious! Thank you!” I called.

They responded with nods, smiles, and a “We appreciate you.”

I feel it’s important to let people know I enjoyed their food. They seriously did a great job.

I love new experiences and this place was a blast. I don’t intend to return, but am so glad we went. What do you think, friends? Would you like this place?

Discover more from Writing and Martial Arts

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

67 responses »

  2. The kids of people we once knew were HUGELY into one of the Magic games which involves playing cards (this was years ago, not sure if it’s still a popular thing…). We were advised to bring them gifts of, you guessed it, cards. We went to a local game store where we asked to buy Magic cards. The store owner was hugely into the game and explained to us that we could buy packs of cards or specific cards. Some single cards went for well over $100! We asked why. He explained to us that just like bottles of wine, some cards are “finer” than others. That “unique” take stayed with us since…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Oooooommmmmmggggg…. Magic, the card game?! Apparently it IS still a thing because guess who has mentioned playing that with friends several times recently? Want to guess or should I tell you? I’ll wait, just in case. Also, that story is NUTS! $100? Wow.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Don’t tell me it was Chucky?!?!?!

        And, yes, he was trying to explain to us that some cards, like fine wine, are superior to ordinary cards. He could tell that are jaws were somewhere near the floor as he told us some of the price tags (which I’m sure were over $100). Needless to say, we didn’t buy these “fine wine” cards 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • He just casually mentioned playing a nerdy card game called Magic. I’d never heard of it. Very kind of you to buy the kids cards. Too bad for the parents. Maybe the game shop should sell wine too.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Given that shop’s clientele at the time, I’m not wine would be a good idea 😛

        BTW, I remember the cards were a big hit because before the next visit to those folks, we went back to that shop for “more” 🙂 Now I’m wondering if that store is still open…

        Liked by 1 person

      • EW! Stuart just commented that those cards on the wall I shared a pic of… those are Magic cards! I had no idea! I thought DnD cards, but I guess that’s probably not a thing. Shows what I know! But I’m learning! 😛

        Like

    • When we were about to leave, an older couple came in. They, too, were like us at first, looking around at everything, taking it all in. They did sit for spell. I wonder if they were as fascinated as we were. I hope they survived. 😉

      Like

      Reply ↓

  4. I’d go there. I wasted some of my youth and adulthood playing DnD, but I preferred to use a mace in combat. I doubt that they be jealous of him being kissed, more likely confused as to why you’d waste value melee rounds on kissing when an orc might just cut both your heads off while you’re not defending yourself.

    The bravest and most skilled knights did take a vow of celibacy so as not to be distracted from battle, training, honor, or all the other things the Knights Templar were famous for. All that kissy, kissy stuff requires you put your battle ax down and take off your armor – what true knight would do that?

    oh, and the holes in that battle mage they served the drinks on, were drilled with a forstner bit on a drill press – you can tell by the small hole in the exact center of the big hole. And that’s a fact they’d love down at the Battle Mage …

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  6. You go to the most interesting places, Betsy. But the thing I like best about this roundup is the way YOU make it interesting by noticing everything!!! Life is fun with you in it — wherever you go! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  9. I had no idea that people still play Dungeons and Dragons. When my sons were teenagers, eons ago, they spent hours playing with their friends. It’s definitely an unusual place for a couple’s night-out. I love the serving tray 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  11. I’m fascinated by the staying power of DnD (tho’ Harry Potter can probably take some credit). My college roommate was a “Dungeonmaster”, which is just about the only thing I remember about the game (and the bathrobe he wore as some kind of cloak). Okay, also the regular gathering of players in our dorm room, perfectly described by you in this post. A campus overflowing with activities and this group chose to clear off our desks and play fantasy games all night? I still shake my head.

    Like

    Reply ↓

  13. I would hate this place.

    I do have to play devil’s advocate on one key point, though. You say running into a fight wielding a puppy would be horrible. I think it would be great! Imagine the enemy’s reaction. They’d stop dead in their tracks, confused. Then their hearts would melt and they’d put down their weapons to give the puppy belly rubs. I’m telling you, tiny dogs might just be the solution to ending violence and hatred!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  14. We LOVE to check out new breweries and we’d definitely visit this place, though neither of us are into any of the stuff you mentioned (besides the dark stouts!) I think the most interesting brewery we’ve been was inside a really old church, somewhere near Kent, Ohio.

    I’ve had a lot of ‘misses’ when it comes to food trucks, but whenever I have a really good meal, I always ask the server to please tell the chef how much I enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • I wish you and your Hubby could’ve been with us then, Bijoux, and not just so you could drink that Hooded Assassin for me! 😉

      And thank you for acknowledging the importance of recognizing a job well done with the food. No one else has commented on that. 🙂

      Like

      Reply ↓

  15. I’ve never played D&D before (it was never big in Malaysia), but I’ve played a lot of video games based on it. So I’d prolly appreciate it. The cards on the wall are a different genre though (Magic cards rather than D&D). Also never really got into that, so I’d prolly not visit that place, lol. But thanks for the tour!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  17. I’d like this place ONCE because it’s so different than anywhere I’ve been. But to return on a regular basis, I doubt it. I liken this to going to a ComicCon. Did one once in San Antonio, enjoyed it, but not again.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

  22. That is some serious theming! You must have given the service staff a kick – very different clientale they are used to! and so sweet of you to show love to the kitchen staff. I wonder if the DnD folks order food …

    Like

    Reply ↓

    • We were clearly tourists in our own town, taking pictures of everything. I hope the staff enjoys that. It shows that we appreciate the work they put into the decor. And yes, the DnDers did order food. It was a fun night. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • I am sure they enjoyed the change of pace which your group provided! and the theming was very ornate and detailed – so many photograph opportunities!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I should think they would be pleased to see people enjoying the decor. They definitely went all out! Even though I didn’t “get it” per se, I could recognize a job well done.

        Like

  23. Pingback: 5 mins with a fungi – Touring My Backyard

Share what you think of this story, or share one of your own!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.