I paused mid-hairbrush and smiled.
They’re back, baby!
Later, I discovered two on my forearm.
Feb4
They’re baaaaaack!
Tag Archives: martial arts
Jan21
The Jiu-Jitsu Diaries: Day Three
While writing my last post, I had a bit of a revelation: What if partnering with Sensei is the problem?
When in doubt, Sensei is always the problem.
But maybe it’s a combination of me being distracted by my desire to show that man up because I’m so annoyed at him being better at me in everything, and his inability to turn off the teacher switch. Like, dude, stop telling me what to do and let me think for myself a moment. (I’ve since said this to him, and he said, “Sorry,” so we’re cool.)
After this revelation, I considered asking Instructor to put me with someone else. Then I thought better of it and decided to leave the partnering to fate.
As fate would have it, Sensei was late, so Instructor partnered me with someone else. How’d I do?
Jan19
An unexpected pick-me-up
I was having an Andy Dwyer moment.
If you haven’t watched Parks and Recreation, Andy is the endearing yet not so smart character played by Chris Pratt. In one episode he’s trying to win over the girl he likes, April. A friend tries to help him formulate a plan by asking, “What are your skills?”
Andy responds, “I’m nice. I’m in a band.” The friend waited for more, but that was the extent of Andy’s CV.
I feel on par with Andy. I’m one of those things. The other, no one in their right mind would have me do.
Side note: I was recently telling a friend I had zero musical ability. “I like to dance, though,” I said.
She perked up. “Really? What kind?”
Evidently she was expecting salsa, swing, ballet, heck, even tap would probably do.
“Uh, just to music I like.”
She turned her attention to someone else.
Probably a good thing I didn’t mention head banging.
So, I’m sticking with “nice,” and some people think I’m funny. That’s two. I have to accept that Jiu-Jitsu is not in my skill list, despite how much I wish it would be.
Here’s an opportunity to use two of those 149 pics I’ve been stockpiling. I spotted this and another t-shirt two years ago and snapped pics in case I ever had cause to mention Parks and Rec. I hope fellow fans will appreciate them.
Jan17
Betsy goes back to Jiu-Jitsu aaaaaaaaannnddd you can probably guess what happened next.
Okay, so I did that free seminar thing with Sensei back in November, right? And we snagged coupons for two free weeks of class, making plans to use them this month. I eagerly awaited our first class, last night at 8p.m., a time that seemed far too late. I kept watching the clock, trying to find ways to fill the time.
This is taking forever. What should I do? Wash dishes or something?!
Don’t worry, I didn’t stoop that low.
Finally, the hour drew near. Once again I perceived the heavenly choir of angels as I pulled my plastic-wrapped gi from the back of the closet.
It was almost surreal to bid farewell to my family as I went off to war. Or, just, you know, to a martial arts class.
Aug18
On physical therapy and self defense
Physical therapy for my knee injury went well. It was helpful, but I ran out of sessions before getting to complete mobility. I’m on my own now.
I said my thanks and goodbyes, as I genuinely liked the people at this place. They were amiable and fun to chat with, to the point where I felt we were truly becoming friends.
And I enjoy being friendly and nice to people. I also enjoy the thought of beating someone up.
Humans are complicated beings.
The person I’d most like to show-what-for is, of course, Sensei. Because he’s always got it coming.
Nov29
Finally got an MRI. Here’s what I learned + pictures!
Note: the pics have nothing to do with the story (until the end) but add a little levity, I hope. 🙂
The Saturday after Thanksgiving is an excellent time to get a procedure done. I was worried about finding close parking (wish I had a handicap sticker hanger thingy), or any parking, but the lot was all but empty. Score!
When a technician asked what I had done to my foot, I explained it was a martial arts injury. More details appeared to me needed. “Jiu-jitsu,” I replied. More still. “I sort of bent it backwards toward my leg.” And yet more. “It was a double leg takedown.” For the record, this person did not have the air of someone who does or knows much about martial arts.
Later I overheard this conversation being relayed to another technician who laughed at “double leg takedown.”
Jun4
Rolling vs Sparring
Quick martial arts lesson: Rolling is to Jiu-Jitsu as Sparring is to Taekwondo.
Quick blog lesson: Instructor is to Jiu-Jitsu as Sensei is to Taekwondo.
I’m now at the point of my Jiu-Jitsu journey where I get to attend Reflex and Development class. Your opponent gives indicators like step back, push away, post a leg up, etc., to let you know what move you need to do.
Often I ask, “What do I do?” because I’m not very good at this. The answer is usually Arm Bar or Elevator Sweep or Americana.
“Oh, right, yeah,” I’ll say then do the move.
At the start of 99% of the regular classes, we practice The Clinch. It’s a standing move that leads to getting the bad guy on the ground. We do this so often, I could sleep through this part of class.
Then in Reflex and Development, Instructor stood in front of me.
And stood there.
“What do I do?”
“Clinch me.”
Ugh! Face palm!
Visual interlude:
Apr13
Fight or Flight
A blogger shared with me what she overheard on a podcast discussing martial arts:
“The guest had suggested that when ladies learn martial arts (like JJ) it can help them have more confidence and experience to fight with an attacker (sounded like a good point) but then Rogan noted that it would take years and years of training and then even with that – ‘basic anatomy’ plays a role in determining how most women would do if fighting with an attacker.”
“So while great for self defense and good for mind and body coordination and stability – the best advice is for people to put distance between themselves and the attacker (as opposed to someone with a certain level belt assuming they can take down someone twice their size).”
This is a good reality check. And I don’t disagree. Sure, I found it a little discouraging, but then I thought about my reasons for doing Jiu-Jitsu and Taekwondo:
- Am I expecting to get attacked at every turn? No.
- Do I intend to don a cape and spandex to fight crime vigilante-style? No.
- Do I think it would be nice to have some ability to defend myself should I need it? Yes.
- Am I largely just doing this for the fun of it? Also, yes.
- Do I enjoy the challenge of learning something hard? Yes. (It helps that I have realistic expectations of myself. I never thought I’d be a natural at this.)
- Does it give me greater confidence in general? Yes.
- Is teaching what I’ve learned to middle school girls fun, fulfilling, and challenging? Yes.
- Do they enjoy the class for all or most of those reasons above? I believe so, yes.
It has been pointed out to me more than once that the best option, when viable, is to simply run away. I joked that I should hang up my gi and work on my speed instead.
How am I doing?
I saw an interview with actor Ed O’Neill (Married… with Children, Modern Family), who has a black belt in Ju-Jitsu. He used his knowledge twice to put a rear naked choke (RNC) on men who had become unruly. This move is a good go-to, and I’ve already proven that I can, with a bit of struggle, successfully get the job done on a male blue belt (Surfer Dude 1). I don’t hope to need this skill in real life, but if I do, I’ll have it.
Fun side note: Hubs and I recently saw The Lost City. Brad Pitt used the RNC on several bad guys. I whispered to Hubby, “He’s using perfect technique. It’s nice the writers did their research.” Later in the film, Channing Tatum tries to imitate Pitt, but does so humorously wrong and unsuccessfully. It was a cute movie, and I’ve been a fan of Sandra Bullock ever since While You Were Sleeping.
Now. Let’s talk T-shirts, shall we?
Apr7
Wednesday night’s class
My shoulders hurt after Monday’s Jiu-Jitsu class, so Tuesday night I thought to myself: I gotta bandage my shoulders before tomorrow’s class.
Wednesday morning: I gotta bandage my shoulders before tonight’s class.
Wednesday afternoon: I gotta bandage my shoulders before tonight’s class.
Wednesday night’s class: I didn’t bandage my shoulders.
Because I simply refuse to wear the thick hot heavy gi top, much to Jiu-Jitsu purple belt blog buddy Tom’s consternation, I knew my shoulders were going to take a hit.
It was 80 degrees yesterday, okay?! And even hotter in the gym. I put both fists up to bump Surfer Dudes 1 and 2 as I slid between them against the wall.
“It’s hot in here,” remarked SD2.
“No kidding,” I said.
“Hi, Betsy,” said SD1, clearly harboring no grudge for last class’s rear naked choke.
This class was Elbow Escape, which requires “shrimping”: moving away from your opponent by pushing off the floor with one foot and rotating on the opposite shoulder. Basically, we’re curling then straightening our bodies to move backwards, much like how a shrimp swims when it wants to get away quickly.
To add injury to injury, Instructor had everyone lay down and practice shrimping from one side of the room to the other and back again. I was feeling the sting immediately. Here’s where the gi top would’ve helped, but I had planned to have pre-bandaged shoulders! And that was before I knew this class would involve any shrimping, let alone a TON of shrimping.
The elbow escape itself requires not one but three shrimps, or in my case, four. My opponent was on the short side, so I needed to shrimp an extra time to create space for my foot to get out from behind his knee.
And I’ve been remiss in posting pics for “What’s! That! Bruise!?” so here’s an elbow.
Apr3
Crazy with a Green Belt
One blog name suggestion during the “contest” was “Crazy with a Yellow Belt.” If we had gone with that, it would need to be updated now.
The green belt test was not nearly as embarrassing as my yellow belt test. Did I still screw something up?
Of course I did.
When the testing was complete, Sensei instructed my partner and me to return to our starting line. I began jogging to the spot I’d been seated before being called up for the test. I realized halfway there that he meant our starting line from which we DID the test.
I turned around and smiled at him sheepishly as I returned to the appropriate line. Fortunately, he smiled back. It’s a good thing we’re friends or he might have instead been irritated, annoyed, or given me a reproving look.
I later considered that it pays to be a nice, friendly person. That greases the skids of forgiveness for my flubs. If I weren’t nice, he might have reacted differently. I synthesized that thought process down into this text exchange:
Soon after, the girls and I got the flu. I was worried we might have spread it to him, so I gave him a heads up and suggested he take preventative measures. Then it occurred to me that I had an opportunity to get back at him for his snark and maybe get a leg up for a change. Here’s what I wrote post-testing, pre-belt ceremony:
Writing and Martial Arts 