It was time to roll. Instructor turned on music.
And I started dancing.
Typically, for this to happen, I have to be very comfortable with the people around me. So me dancing at Jiu-Jitsu… What the heck was that?!
For starters, it was, at best, some weird kick thing reminiscent of Elaine from Seinfeld.
Thoughtful One arrived after me, and since I saw him coming, I grabbed his card from the box when I grabbed mine. His card was full save a few Fight Simulation boxes on the bottom.
I handed him his card and said, “Nice and full.”
“What?” he said, tossing his card onto the bench in a manner that made me think, “Ooookay.”
“Your card. It’s practically full.”
“Oh.” He relaxed. “I thought you were commenting on my stomach. I appreciate the honesty, but…”
I laughed. “Yeah, man, big breakfast or something?”
I would never be rude to any of these people, if not for self-preservation, for basic human decency, and because none of them give reason for rudeness.
~~~
When the gym had a Christmas party, I brought my son so he could play with the Little Instructors again like on our two park days. Thoughtful One brought his wife and, after introducing me to her, added, “She’s a novelist.”
The class started, as usual, with Mrs. Instructor and me partnering together. Also, as usual, we struggled to remember the moves. I’m generally inclined to watch other groups and try to figure it out from them, but Mrs. Instructor is, for some strange reason, NOT afraid of the instructor, as though she’s perfectly comfortable with him or something.
“I’m raising my hand,” she said.
Fiiiiinnneee.
Instructor joined us, but then Surfer Dude (SD) arrived, so Instructor helped his wife and assigned SD to me. That was all good.
Then Instructor introduced our next move, a “bear roll.”
You reach one hand through the other person’s knees, the other hand under their back, grab their wrist with both hands, get a strong stance, bend, lift, flip. Voila!
I looked at SD with one eyebrow raised.
Since Tess’s departure to the other side of the country, I’ve had a running gag going in our JJ Ladies text group, frequently implying that Tess will be present at whatever get-together we plan.
I’ll say things like, “Tess, when does your flight arrive? I’ll pick you up.”
I used it recently when trying to plan a karaoke night. When we moved the date, I wrote: “Tess, I hope you can avoid a change of flight fee.”
Then it was, “Who wants to join Tess and me at karaoke?”
This made Tess laugh and “Pink” say, “I love how you keep sneaking Tess in there.”
Karaoke night never came to fruition, but that didn’t stop me from having a little fun.
I discovered this in my drafts folder from August.
The below is from July 3, and it took about a year to scroll to find it. Apparently Mrs. Instructor and I chat a lot. Mine is the writing in purple.
More recently, I wrote to her, “Uncontrollable loud sustained laughter during a wall drill with Instructor. Super embarrassing.”
Her: What happened?
Me: I don’t know! I just couldn’t stop!
Her: lol
Me another day:
I received this message a little bit ago:
First of all, aren’t you a subscriber so you get notified when there IS something here and don’t need to keep checking? (Take note, all of you.)
Second, I’ve been swamped with work and authorly stuff, like bio, acknowledgements, finding other authors to write blurbs, etc. [Check, check, and check, but those were the easy items.]
Third, this means I’ve been ignoring all other blogs, and I feel guilty when I post here but don’t visit others.
But the above message is what I get for telling Mrs. Instructor I had a post waiting in the wings called “The One About Mrs. Instructor.” Some people just love seeing their name in lights blogs. So, without further ado…
Warning: I chronicle my Jiu-Jitsu Journey here. This is a low moment post. If you’re not in the mood to be brought down, just skip to the end.
I wasn’t in the best frame of mind when I arrived for Jiu-Jitsu. Because of other life stressors, my normal place of refuge has lost its euphoria. But I’m trying to push through.
I showed up for a mini-Reflex Development class, where Master Cycle students are encouraged to help the Combatives students. Instructor seemed glad I was there and eager for me to assist him in demonstrating the moves.
Fellow Jiu-Jitsu student “The Dad” and I often talk cars, fight scenes, and action movies in general.
This all started years ago when I was driving from Taekwondo to Jiu-Jitsu and noticed a cool old car on the road.
“Ooooh,” I thought because, you know, super girlie.
So imagine my delight when the observed vehicle pulled into the parking lot ahead of me.
“I must see who is driving that.” (Internal dialog. Not yet so crazy as to talk to myself–out loud anyway.)
Relieved to see it was a fellow student, I got the scoop from The Dad on this glorious ’67 Chevy Impala.
While I was doing triangle chokes in Reflex Development with Iceberg, Surfer Dude was watching.
“Where do you have your foot?” he asked me.
I looked. “Oh, it’s on his knee. It should be on his hip. Sorry. That was lazy of me.”
“You’re in Master Cycle now,” he reminded me, and continued reminding me as he pulled no punches when we rolled together later. “I want you to be as good at triangles as I am.”
“Whoa,” I said, kind of flattered at his apparent faith in me, since he is the king of triangles. “New life goal.”
Next SD helped Iceberg properly triangle choke me.
“When her face starts turning red like that, you know you’re getting it,” SD told him.
“Thanks, man. Appreciate it,” I said. He smiled.
In another Master Cycle class (my apologies to those I confused about that), I partnered with The Combatives Belt Kid. He started by congratulating me on the new belt. What a polite young man.
Then I uppercut him in the jaw.
To be fair, it was an ACCIDENT! And it was rather light. His braces didn’t cut his mouth or anything.
I apologized, he smiled, said “It’s okay,” then, “Would you like to try again?”
So that time I DID make him bleed.
Kidding, kidding. I did the move properly, no blood involved.
When we switched partners, he told “Pink” I had punched him. She said to me, “That’s okay. I’ve frequently made his nose bleed.”
See? I’m a lamb!
Also while rolling with The Combatives Belt Kid (CBK, anyone?), I tried a cross choke.
“I feel really bad that I’m actively trying to hurt you,” I said. It seriously felt wrong. But he got away by rolling over his head somehow. It was rather impressive.
“You almost got me, though,” he was kind enough to tell me. “It was really close. [Long pause.] I need a minute.” We waited for the flow of blood to return to his brain.
Why aren’t more people into this stuff???
Writing and Martial Arts 