Sep24

Meh.

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Meh.
😑

Warning: I chronicle my Jiu-Jitsu Journey here. This is a low moment post. If you’re not in the mood to be brought down, just skip to the end.

I wasn’t in the best frame of mind when I arrived for Jiu-Jitsu. Because of other life stressors, my normal place of refuge has lost its euphoria. But I’m trying to push through.

I showed up for a mini-Reflex Development class, where Master Cycle students are encouraged to help the Combatives students. Instructor seemed glad I was there and eager for me to assist him in demonstrating the moves.

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Sep10

And they’re back!

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And they’re back!

Okay, friends. After lulling you into a false sense of security with posts related to baking, beeping, and random food pics, I’m bringing Jiu-Jitsu back in force! (I just heard Mrs. Instructor quietly say, “Yay.”)

In a recent class, Instructor used the Combatives Belt Kid (CBK) as his demo partner. I thought of telling CBK later, “Hey, man, good for you. What an honor.”

But in last night’s class, Instructor used me as his demo partner, so I now realize it’s a matter of who’s sitting closest or randomly makes eye contact, rather than a matter of skill. [Note to self: Sit far away and avoid eye contact as though Instructor is Kaa from The Jungle Book or the basilisk from Harry Potter.]

Being demo partner in Master Cycle is frightening. Thankfully, the moves here are sort of a crap shoot. Some are ridiculously complicated, but a lot are really quite simple when you get down to it.

I feel like that last part is asking too much of me.

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Sep5

This is beyond ridiculous. Time to unload some pics.

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This is beyond ridiculous. Time to unload some pics.

I found this image in my Picture File of Doom, aka that vast netherscape of random pics I’ve dumped into a folder for potential blog usage. I need to put on my flashlight hard hat every now and then and mine that puppy for gems. This one would’ve been perfect for the last post.

I held onto this since, apparently, June 2022, knowing it would be useful for my blog one day. Too bad that day was last week.

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Aug28

So this is what it means to be a hot mess

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So this is what it means to be a hot mess

My daughter had a high school retreat. I signed the permission slip and paid the fee. She packed her backpack and grabbed her sleeping bag from the closet.

An hour before we left, I felt very proud of myself for suggesting we double check her items with the packing list–well in advance of leaving, mind you. (Seriously, I was like, Go me!)

Pajamas–check

Shower shoes–check

Socks and hiking shoes–check check

Everything was going great. Then I got to the bottom of the list:

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Aug23

Because I am clearly a paragon of femininity…

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Because I am clearly a paragon of femininity…

Fellow Jiu-Jitsu student “The Dad” and I often talk cars, fight scenes, and action movies in general.

This all started years ago when I was driving from Taekwondo to Jiu-Jitsu and noticed a cool old car on the road.

“Ooooh,” I thought because, you know, super girlie.

So imagine my delight when the observed vehicle pulled into the parking lot ahead of me.

“I must see who is driving that.” (Internal dialog. Not yet so crazy as to talk to myself–out loud anyway.)

Relieved to see it was a fellow student, I got the scoop from The Dad on this glorious ’67 Chevy Impala.

It wasn’t this one, but you get the idea.

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Aug22

Surfer Dude has it coming

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Surfer Dude has it coming

While I was doing triangle chokes in Reflex Development with Iceberg, Surfer Dude was watching.

“Where do you have your foot?” he asked me.

I looked. “Oh, it’s on his knee. It should be on his hip. Sorry. That was lazy of me.”

“You’re in Master Cycle now,” he reminded me, and continued reminding me as he pulled no punches when we rolled together later. “I want you to be as good at triangles as I am.”

“Whoa,” I said, kind of flattered at his apparent faith in me, since he is the king of triangles. “New life goal.”

Next SD helped Iceberg properly triangle choke me.

“When her face starts turning red like that, you know you’re getting it,” SD told him.

“Thanks, man. Appreciate it,” I said. He smiled.

Screenshot from a video I took in Betsy’s Jiu-Jitsu Journey Part 1, when SD’s blonde hair helped him live up to the name. The unfortunate man stuck sniffing his arm pit is Blue Belt, once called Mustache, if we’re trying to keep track. I asked them to do this video for me because I struggled most with triangle set up. I *think* I’ve finally gotten in down. 😉

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Aug16

More on Master Cycle–which has nothing to do with bikes

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More on Master Cycle–which has nothing to do with bikes

In another Master Cycle class (my apologies to those I confused about that), I partnered with The Combatives Belt Kid. He started by congratulating me on the new belt. What a polite young man.

Then I uppercut him in the jaw.

To be fair, it was an ACCIDENT! And it was rather light. His braces didn’t cut his mouth or anything.

I apologized, he smiled, said “It’s okay,” then, “Would you like to try again?”

So that time I DID make him bleed.

Kidding, kidding. I did the move properly, no blood involved.

When we switched partners, he told “Pink” I had punched him. She said to me, “That’s okay. I’ve frequently made his nose bleed.”

See? I’m a lamb!

Also while rolling with The Combatives Belt Kid (CBK, anyone?), I tried a cross choke.

Cross choke. Fairly straightforward.

“I feel really bad that I’m actively trying to hurt you,” I said. It seriously felt wrong. But he got away by rolling over his head somehow. It was rather impressive.

“You almost got me, though,” he was kind enough to tell me. “It was really close. [Long pause.] I need a minute.” We waited for the flow of blood to return to his brain.

Why aren’t more people into this stuff???

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Aug11

Rolling with Mrs. Instructor, aka Do Not try this at home.

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Rolling with Mrs. Instructor, aka Do Not try this at home.

So, you would think since Mrs. Instructor and I are friends, we’re both female, I’m new to Master Cycle, and given that the guys are nice and easy on me, she would be too, right?

Wrong!

That chic’s leg hooks were SOLID. I feel like 75% of the time I’m able to slip a choke. She was all, “Oh, you want to slide out by getting your back to the ground? Let me just pull you back on top of me as though you weigh approximately 7.5 pounds.”

“You got a frame in on the right side? That’s cool, I’ll just fling you over to the left and sink the choke in with that arm.”

Daaaaaaannnnnggg. Such fierceness!

Basically, I didn’t stand a chance.

See? We’re friends! Remember these good ol’ days? (Never mind that this was a tactical “hug” just before I swept her leg.)

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Aug8

My first Master Cycle class

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My first Master Cycle class

But first, back up with me a little.

I figured I had climbed to the top of the Combatives class when I was asked to be demo partner and to help other students, like in the days of old. My final clue that maybe I might just possibly be the highest belt was when Instructor said, “You’re the highest belt.”

Sometimes it’s difficult to read that man. Just say what you mean, already!

But when this realization dawned on me, I had an “Oh my goodness, I did it” moment.

I thought back to my last encounter with the fabled Chex Mix Guy, known to long-time readers here. When I saw him while wearing my stylish medical support boot and explained my Jiu-Jitsu fall from grace, he encouraged me, saying, “That gives you a goal to aim for. Work your way back to the top.”

It was a year later when I returned to Jiu-Jitsu, and several more months before I reached that objective, but wherever CMG is now, I thank him for the encouragement. I wish I could tell him I made it.

Covid birthday present because he loves Star Wars, and I am the Leslie Knope of gift giving. (Leslie Knope is from the show Parks and Recreation. She rocked presents for friends.)

And so, after reaching the peak, I was about to enter the base camp of yet another mountain to climb.

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Aug4

My first Jiu-Jitsu class joke

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My first Jiu-Jitsu class joke

I have old stories I haven’t yet shared, so I must take you back to my Combatives class days for a moment. Please forgive the timeline whiplash.

Instructor is quite funny, seemingly without even trying. For instance: “If you need to take someone down, be careful of what’s behind him. You don’t want to land in the street or on a baby stroller, or koala, or a cat. Be aware of your surroundings.”

I leaned to the woman next me. “Did he say koala?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, equally befuddled.

He weaves stuff like this in seamlessly.

Another thing he does is explain a move then ask Surfer Dude if he has anything to add. Since I was often demo partner in SD’s absence, I mentioned to Sensei that my new life goal was to be asked if I had anything to add.

Sensei responded with a characteristic insult. My first clue it was coming was when he opened his mouth. I, however, saw this as an excellent opportunity to make my first class joke.

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