Kids say the funniest things

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A friend came across these notes she’d written about her daughter and kindly and boldly sent me photos. She even allowed me to share them with you. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry

The Chex Mix guy strikes again.

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Twice actually. A few weeks ago, the 99c sale was on, calling me like a siren song. I hoped I’d see the CM guy so I could continue our funny banter. I was nearly disappointed until I saw him at the last check stand on my way out. (Click here and here for the first two encounters with the Chex Mix guy.)

“Hey, Chex Mix guy.” [I actually used his real name, but you know, privacy and all that.] When he looked up, I said, “Time to restock the Chex Mix again.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “Yeah, I knew it when I saw you come in.” [He probably didn’t see me come in.]

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My spoils.

Today I was back. He walked by as I was checking out. Read the rest of this entry

And I thought *I* was the funny one.

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My friend and her husband, having met at University of Virginia, where he played basketball, were overjoyed when VA won March Madness some weeks ago.

basketballAt the time, I sent her a congratulatory text. She wrote back that she was impressed I knew. It’s true I know and care little for professional sports, but my husband sometimes keeps me informed.

I texted back: “I care about stuff you care about. I mean, not your kids or your husband or your dog, but basketball I can get behind.”

Here I figured she must be wetting herself from my masterful command of humor, and yet, a second later, she wrote back: Read the rest of this entry

Can you guess whose is whose?

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My thirteen-year-old daughter and I were invited by her friend and her friend’s mom to  one of those places where you paint or sculpt. We had a great time, and both came home with a painting we were fairly proud of. Until I saw mine next to my daughter’s and realized I’m no better an artist than my 8th grader. Not that I should be, but shouldn’t I be? I might even be worse.

Here are our paintings. Can you guess whose is whose? Read the rest of this entry

50% off?! I’ll take two!

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I think this company should’ve had a focus group meeting on the name of their product. People who are interested in getting leg cramps, however, are in luck. Two for the price of one! You wouldn’t want one leg to be left out! Get cramps in both legs!

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Here’s a story I’m sharing for a particular BBB (Beloved Blog Buddy). Let’s see if she knows who she is. 😉   [If this story involved a cat, I’d mean you, Julie and Andrew.] Read the rest of this entry

Just to clarify…

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dscn5737.jpgHave we run out of adjectives for shampoo?
My Kiwi-Lime Squeeze has been labeled “clarifying” shampoo.
So does that mean when I’m in public, my hair will convey to others, “Yes, this hair is clean. She lathered and rinsed, but just didn’t repeat”?
Or, “Yes, this is her natural color. I would know.”
Or, “Yes, she knows it’s frizzy, she just doesn’t care enough.”
Thanks for setting that straight, shampoo. It’s about time someone came up with a shampoo that could do this for us.
What are your thoughts on what “clarifying shampoo” might mean?

Did I mention *I* have a new book out too?

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In the book launch furor for my beloved blog buddies, (Oooh, BBB!) it occurred to me that I might as well mention that my third book hit shelves last week. BEHOLD:

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Amazon and Barnes and Noble will get the book in about a month, but the publisher has it now.

Here are a few excerpts:

It helps knowing that I’m not the only parent who messes up. I saw a picture of a t-shirt tag that bore the instructions: “Remove child before washing.” I mean, if that has to be stated for some parents, I can’t be doing too badly.
Some days your children are just going to be fussy, like they’re taking turns or have it scheduled on a secret calendar. Keeping a sense of humor helps. Once I asked a friend how her kids were. She responded: “For sale.”
Though I’m no athlete, it doesn’t stop my friends who wake up at 5:30 to run, from trying to convince me to join them. There must be something to it, though, as they seem very happy. Also insane, but crazy people do tend to laugh a lot, so it’s hard to tell the difference. My workout comes from lifting the baby on my legs while I lie on the floor. He cracks up and that makes me crack up too — until he drools into my mouth.
Any brand of silliness is bound to earn you points with your kids. My mom would often say, “You in the pink dress.” No one was wearing a dress. Or pink.
Buy it for the parents in your life, or for yourself if you enjoy a good laugh, and let’s be honest: Who doesn’t?
BBBs: I didn’t organize a Blog Hop because I’m not as cool as you. If anyone would like to do a shout out, I certainly won’t stop you. Feel free to copy what you like from this post, or ask me for more if you just can’t get enough of all this.

There was a Time by Andrew Reynolds

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There Was a Time

 

Long-time blog buddy, Andrew Reynolds has fulfilled his dream of publishing an anthology of poetry reflecting on his own cancer diagnosis and the illness and passing of his mother to the disease.

Andrew’s use of the written word makes you see what he sees and feel what he feels.

His writing is so beautiful it hurts. I recommend you buy his book today.

Here’s what a mutual (former blogging) friend, Carrie, wrote in her Amazon review:

I opened up this book with the intention of reading a few poems from it each day, which, as someone who doesn’t read much poetry, is often how I approach it, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. In this collection of poems, Reynolds chronicles the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that accompany a diagnosis of cancer, its treatment and recovery, and its psychological toll. Part of my eagerness to devour these poems was my background as a physician–it’s always thought-provoking to read about a patient’s experiences–but most of it stemmed from the beauty and rawness of the author’s words.

In his opening poem, he writes:
“And listen to a song of a simple man
Thrown hard at sea and
Cast adrift in unknown lands–”

From there, the reader experiences what it was like to receive the diagnosis of prostate cancer, the fear and unknown that accompanies its treatment, recovery, and ultimately survival, which comes with its own set of complicated feelings. As the author writes:
“Sing a song
of gratitude
with just a bit of attitude.

To say I was moved by this collection is an understatement. The book would be well-placed in waiting rooms and hospital gift shops. Reynolds doesn’t sugarcoat the process, and I suspect cancer patients and their loved ones would appreciate his honesty.”

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Here’s the back cover. The only thing I take issue with regarding Andrew’s bio is he forgot to mention that on his blog he also posts the occasional cat photo for his crazed fan, Betsy. Andrew, next volume, got it?

Cutest mouse on the planet

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Yet another book by a BB (blog buddy). This one comes with a contest!

Head over to Mike Allegra’s blog, like today, now even, because the contest ends tomorrow, and comment for your chance to win this most adorable book for the young  one in your life. From his blog:

It’s time to win a signed, hardcover copy of my new picture book: Scampers Thinks Like A Scientist!

Scampers Thinks Like a Scientist is the book that received a five-star review from Foreward Reviews. It’s the book that nabbed a glowing notice from the difficult-to-please Kirkus. And it’s the book that stars the cutest mouse in the history of ever.

Just look at that widdle face!

How To Enter

Keep reading to get the full scoop.

Book launch: Murder in Plane Sight by Julie Holmes

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cover-smaller-again.jpgAircraft mechanic Sierra Bauer finds a dead body in her inspection plane. Evidence pointing to Sierra causes Detective Quinn Moore to peg her as a suspect despite his attraction to her, forcing her to prove her innocence. She and Quinn must expose a network of money and deceit threatening the aviation world before Sierra becomes the next victim.

Short Excerpt: Headlights glared in the rearview mirror. Sierra Bauer slowed, but not enough. Her car slid around the turn onto the service drive that ran past the Range Airlines maintenance hangar on the western side of the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport. She steered into the skid, regained control. Cursed the timing of the snow. Read the rest of this entry