Oct29

Building a winning costume

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Here’s a little how-to for your costume-construction needs. Follow these steps and you, too, can have a prize-winning costume with little effort on your part! [Warning: Results may vary for spouses.]

Step 1: Receive a text from Beloved Neighbor about a Halloween event in your town, which includes a costume contest at a brewery.

Step 2: Tell Hubby, I want this* costume. You have a week. Get moving.

*Rather than tell you what the costume is, I’ll show you pieces and see if you can figure it out.

Step 3: Lounge at home while Hubby makes multiple trips to Lowe’s. Upon his return, increase your music volume to drown out the obtrusive sounds of him sawing in the garage. (So rude.)

Step 4: With a few clicks, order his accompanying costume on Amazon. Dab the sweat from your brow after heroically completing this arduous task.

The accompanying costume.

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Oct22

Exploring a local city

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Mark frequently takes in the sites near him, (Who knew there were so many cool things to see in Wisconsin?) which makes me feel like a slacker for not doing the same near me.

I have kids, okay?!

So imagine my surprise when circumstances had us two towns over during a festival of sorts.

Apparently Cruisin’ Grand is an annual event every Friday throughout the summer. That a mosaic in the sidewalk commemorates the occasion, proves what a fixture it is. Where have I been?

And where is this, you ask? More art to the rescue!

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Sep29

Newton’s Fourth Law: If Ilsa is Baking, Something Will Go Wrong

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When combing through Diane’s recipes for my last post, I came across the most brilliant image.

A heavenly light shone upon my computer. My eyes widened in delight. A choir of angels sang. I had discovered:

Z-Cake. You can see that ethereal light, can’t you? Or maybe it’s just a 100W bulb.

Sensei keeps giving me zucchinis, right? And he loves chocolate. This was perfect. But it got even better. I was told Coral would be in town for her birthday weekend and intended to come to class.

I texted Mrs. Sensei.

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Sep22

Cooking in Diane’s Kitchen

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Sensei keeps giving me zucchini from his garden. I’m out of oranges in exchange, so I have to dig into my chocolate stash to make up for it. (I think that’s all part of his diabolical plan.)

Several weeks ago, Neighbor texted several of us in the ‘hood, yo!

To which I responded…

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Sep11

Birthday shenanigans

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Birthday shenanigans

From my BBBB (Beloved Birthday Blog Buddy) Ju-Lyn: Can’t wait to see what Birthday shenanigans you get up to this year😆🤩

Me: Oh, I will shenanigan like the wind, Ju-Lyn!

First of all, remember Snowball Man, whom I ran into another night The Band played? We exchanged emails, so I was able to invite him to BBBB. (This time, Betsy’s Birthday Band Bash. Keep up.) He wrote back:

You just made my day! Will make sure that day is clear and will wear body amour. I tore the muscle in my throwing arm unloading a 300 lb tub so I’ll have to throw left handed……………which should make it fair this time.

Then three days before the big night, he wrote:

I got rescheduled to work Saturday. Was going to go shopping all day for your present but now I’ll have to rush into Pic and Save and hope something is left on the blue light special table. Hopefully I’ll get there while there are still some tables (within throwing distance). Don’t want to miss you……….. with a snowball of course.

And he really did get me a gift. I was surprised and impressed.

Then I saw the envelope:

My name in crosshairs. Clever.
Two pairs of snowball slingshots! VERY clever. Sadly, I didn’t open this until the end of the night.

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Sep7

Fiiiiiiiiiiinallly!!!

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Recapping again: I got off track with my Tae Kwon Do belts when I busted my foot, ankle, and (later discovered) tibia at the end of September. Pretty much recovered, I got another belt (then only one behind my daughters) and was going to be fully caught up at the beginning of May except for tearing two ligaments and bruising two bone plates in my knee two days beforehand. (When I texted Sensei from urgent care telling him no belt testing for me, he didn’t believe me until I sent him a pic of my braced-up knee in a wheelchair.)

So, last week, when I finally FINALLY tested for red/black belt, it was kind of a big deal.

Some of you may recall that the pressure of testing tends to get to me a wee bit. For instance, Sensei has said not to do the forms too quickly because I want to show off that I know each move.

Yeah, so much for that. I moved like I was being chased by a ravenous lion and the only way to keep from being eaten was to distract him by my weird, confusing, albeit somewhat impressive he’s thinking, movements.

Another fun part was, though my girls were doing the forms with me, I knew full well I was the only one being watched, as I was the only one being tested. Normally, two people test at a time, and whenever I’ve messed up, I can tell myself, “Sensei was watching the other person at that particular moment.”

I’m not above lying to myself to get through these things.

My starting position was such that I wound up moving to mere feet from Sensei as I made my one and only major flub–probably because I was aware that he was Right. There.

Groan.

I seriously considered

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Sep1

Well, this is embarrassing.

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In a post from March 2022, I wrote that “doing bicycle crunches with five-pound weights strapped to each ankle is no joke.” Since then, I’ve added two pound weights on top of that and have gotten to the point of yawning my way through my exercises. (I know that sounds horribly braggy. Just stick with me here.)

So I figure, if I can do seven pounds with no problem, I’m ready to jump to ten pounds.

Happy early birthday to me!

I carried the box inside, cut it open, and thought, Holy cow! What is this? Military grade, Kevlar-infused, SWAT-Team-ready ankle weights?

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Aug18

On physical therapy and self defense

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Physical therapy for my knee injury went well. It was helpful, but I ran out of sessions before getting to complete mobility. I’m on my own now.

I said my thanks and goodbyes, as I genuinely liked the people at this place. They were amiable and fun to chat with, to the point where I felt we were truly becoming friends.

And I enjoy being friendly and nice to people. I also enjoy the thought of beating someone up.

Humans are complicated beings.

My previous physical therapy place had this little display on the reception desk. I took several pics specifically with you all in mind.

The person I’d most like to show-what-for is, of course, Sensei. Because he’s always got it coming.

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Aug9

Remember that young woman I mentioned?

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Remember that young woman I mentioned?
This one. Sensei’s super cool daughter, Coral, tap dancing her heart out to earn points for our trivia team.

Here she is again, further demonstrating her coolness.

She probably got her black belt when she was like, I don’t know, 7? It’s going to take me a weeee bit longer than that. But for the sake of argument, let’s just pretend my kicks are that high too, mm’kay?

I also mentioned Coral is going to med school because she wants to be a doctor in Africa. Awesome, right?

Here’s the thing. Med school is insanely expensive. She’ll be paying off loans for yeeeeaaarrrssss when she finishes, meaning, she can’t fulfill her dream of helping impoverished African youth for, you know, a long long time, which is, in medical terminology: super sucky.

So, she’s asking for help. It’s my pleasure to share her Go Fund Me page because this is a young woman going places (literally). She was inspired by a book she read as a kid, Kisses from Katie, about a young woman who moved to Africa and wound up adopting a bunch of girls. Y’all like books. I thought you’d appreciate that.

Please check out her page to read her full story and maybe consider tossing in a buck or two. It would mean a lot to her, and me, and Sensei (though we care about him less) if you helped Coral out with her noble mission.

Thanks, Beloved Blog Buddies! Please go here. 🙂

Jul29

The One About Bar Trivia

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A few weeks back, we did bar trivia with another couple and won first place. We nearly didn’t, though. A tie breaker question was required. “What is the name of the company I work for?” the woman running the show asked.

Silence.

Then I thought, it must be on the screen somewhere. Of everyone in the room, I was seated closest, so I could easily read the small URL at the top, which included the words: Trivia Goat. Thus, I yelled it with gusto.

I kind of felt bad for the other would-be winners. Their table was much farther away.

Ah well.

The envelope, please.

Bolstered by the win and the $20 brewery gift card that could only be used on a subsequent visit, we returned a few weeks later with this same couple and wound up tying again!

For 8th/9th place. There was no tie-breaker to determine which of our two teams was the greater loser, but at least our beer was covered by our prior-won gift card.

Our foursome realized that being all of the same age-range was a detriment. We didn’t know 80s music or modern pop culture. What was required for maximum win-potential was a smattering of ages on our team. So whom did I reach out to for my Master Plan of Bar Trivia Domination?

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