Category Archives: Mrs. Instructor/Her Royal Highness

Jan17

“Your armpit needs to eat my toes.”

Posted on January 17, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

It’s been a while since I’ve heard a great #OnlyInJiuJitsu line, and that one certainly qualifies. HRH was reminding me how to do a footlock, not remotely hiding her disbelief that I couldn’t remember.

It’s really depressing, though not surprising, how much I’ve forgotten. Feeling like a brand new student to Master Cycle rather than a bonafide kick butt warrior blue belt* like I once was, is a bummer. *Quiet, HRH. It’s how I felt, okay!?!

When I woke up Saturday morning for the 8:30 class and noted that HRH had messaged me at 12:03 am, I was concerned that she wouldn’t be making it to class with me. Sure enough, she had no babysitter. I would have to brave the boys class solo.

When it was time to partner up that morning, I hung back, letting the dudes do their duding. Instructor, being conscientious of the situation, paired me with Crockett. I was relieved. I did at least know him from before I left, though he was still in the class below mine then. Otherwise, partnering for the first time with a stranger is always a little awkward. Remember that Li’l Trejo incident?

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Jan13

The good, the bad, the writing

Posted on January 13, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

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I know. I know. Writing’s not as much fun as Jiu-Jitsu, but this is important, not to mention half my blog’s name.

My mom is friends with a librarian in charge of ordering new books, so she sent her a copy of mine for consideration. I believe the woman has been a librarian for decades. Therefore, her feedback, which was great to “uh-oh”, is valuable.

Here’s what she said, the great part:

Wish I Was Here is fantastic! I loved the story and pacing and characters! Love Ilsa’s style! An absolutely thrilling, suspenseful, engaging novel!

I read it in two nights. Loved every vowel, every syllable. My only complaint is it kept me up past my bedtime!

We cannot let this title go unnoticed. Two thumbs up, five stars, and fireworks! I’ve not been this excited about a teen book for quite some time!

Not bad, right? Now the uh-oh part:

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Jan7

About my first class back

Posted on January 7, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

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Going back to New Year’s Eve when the decision was made for me to return to Jiu-Jitsu, Hubby said, “I hope you’ll be able to sleep tonight.” I laughed.

But he was right.

It was the same the next night, too. The night after that was the one before my first class. I drugged myself, and Hubby volunteered to sleep on the couch to give me the best chance at restful sleep.

What a guy!

When I woke up for the 8:30 class, coffee and some leftover Christmas limoncello Panettone were ready for me. (Again, what a guy!)

Eyes baggy and looking like a trash can that had been knocked over, rained on overnight, and even passed over by a hungry raccoon, I was on my way!

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Jan3

I’m back, baby!

Posted on January 3, 2026 by Ilsa Rey

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One of the first things Janis at Retirementally Challenged said to me when we finally met up (we’re in the same county for goodness sake!) was, “Why have you lost your blogging mojo?”

Janis and me at a Chili’s halfway between us.

Funny she should ask. On the drive down, Hubby and I had been discussing the issue: namely, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t returned to Jiu-Jitsu after breaking my foot in May. How could I tell you all? How would I explain? Did I really want to publicly admit the dream was over?

It didn’t help that Andrea commented on one of my posts, essentially, “Yeah, yeah, great about the book stuff, but where are the Jiu-Jitsu stories?!” I’m paraphrasing slightly.

I also felt guilt-ridden when I came across Jacqui’s comment about me to someone else on her blog:

You see I couldn’t take that lying down.

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Sep28

About that launch party…

Posted on September 28, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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Allow me to take you back in time several weeks. Hop aboard.

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Aug11

Teaching girls to kick butt and take names

Posted on August 11, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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Teaching girls to kick butt and take names

This was my third year teaching a girls’ self defense summer camp. I wore a boot for my not-quite-healed broken foot, but I made it work.

The last day was a flurry of fast-paced review, interrupted briefly by what the girls called “story time” for which they gathered around me in a semi-circle.

I’d already given a speech about situational awareness and how their level of alertness should go up as the comfort of their surroundings goes down. (And for goodness sake, don’t be looking at your phone.) This time I gave them real talk about danger from non-strangers and what to do if a relative, family friend, or future coworker makes them uncomfortable.

At the end, one of them said, “That wasn’t a very fun story.” So I added, “Then you grab their head and smash your knee in their face!”

They all shouted, “Yay!”

Not even kidding. It always amuses me how stiff and quiet they are the first few days. By the end,

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Jul6

Writing and Martial Arts

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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The Writing Part

Saw these on Amazon and was tempted. The bottom of my feet is what people see when they come into my room while I’m writing on my bed. But, it’s kind of mean. Then again, I only wear footwear on the right foot, so, it could work…

Anyway, here’s something funny and ironic. How many of you caught the typo in my last post?

“Despite all the work, I know stuff it still going to get missed.”

Wow.

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Jun3

I guess it’s time I blogged something.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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I had a bit of a learning curve adjusting to my new normal.

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May7

Things that make me happy

Posted on May 7, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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It takes so little sometimes. Stuff that I’ve only seen on TV or in movies but then see in real life generally fits the bill.

For instance, chatting with friends at a restaurant while we waited for our table, I happened to look outside and see two guys greet each other with a multi-part handshake.

Who has seen this in real life???

Seriously, if you have, tell me. I’m not sure I knew fancy handshakes actually happened other than on a screen. It was not super complicated. Maybe five steps. Still. It counts. It was amazing.

Secondly, I sold books at a conference in a Marriott hotel. This dude rolled my boxes in for me. To my knowledge, thanks to TV, those carts are used for the rich and famous. I saw one–in action–for me.

Was I supposed to tip that guy? Shoot. Literally only thinking of this now. I don’t know how to behave like the rich and famous. Pretty sure none of them would snag a pic of this, for starters.

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Apr12

Getting razzed in class

Posted on April 12, 2025 by Ilsa Rey

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My Jiu-Jitsu instructor came over to help when I was attempting to do a move with Hip Rad Heroine (Mark’s HRH guess). Instructor said something then, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“What? No!” I said, horrified. “I just looked at her and then back at you.”

“Sheesh. The attitude on this one,” he said with an expression of wild disbelief.

At first I was mortified. Then I realized he was messing with me.

Another time, Instructor was heel hooking my good ankle–the one not wearing a protective sleeve.