Author Archives: Ilsa Rey

About Ilsa Rey

Mother, martial artist, author of the forthcoming novel, Wish I Was Here (December 2025).

Aug22

Surfer Dude has it coming

Posted on August 22, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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While I was doing triangle chokes in Reflex Development with Iceberg, Surfer Dude was watching.

“Where do you have your foot?” he asked me.

I looked. “Oh, it’s on his knee. It should be on his hip. Sorry. That was lazy of me.”

“You’re in Master Cycle now,” he reminded me, and continued reminding me as he pulled no punches when we rolled together later. “I want you to be as good at triangles as I am.”

“Whoa,” I said, kind of flattered at his apparent faith in me, since he is the king of triangles. “New life goal.”

Next SD helped Iceberg properly triangle choke me.

“When her face starts turning red like that, you know you’re getting it,” SD told him.

“Thanks, man. Appreciate it,” I said. He smiled.

Screenshot from a video I took in Betsy’s Jiu-Jitsu Journey Part 1, when SD’s blonde hair helped him live up to the name. The unfortunate man stuck sniffing his arm pit is Blue Belt, once called Mustache, if we’re trying to keep track. I asked them to do this video for me because I struggled most with triangle set up. I *think* I’ve finally gotten in down. 😉

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Aug16

More on Master Cycle–which has nothing to do with bikes

Posted on August 16, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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More on Master Cycle–which has nothing to do with bikes

In another Master Cycle class (my apologies to those I confused about that), I partnered with The Combatives Belt Kid. He started by congratulating me on the new belt. What a polite young man.

Then I uppercut him in the jaw.

To be fair, it was an ACCIDENT! And it was rather light. His braces didn’t cut his mouth or anything.

I apologized, he smiled, said “It’s okay,” then, “Would you like to try again?”

So that time I DID make him bleed.

Kidding, kidding. I did the move properly, no blood involved.

When we switched partners, he told “Pink” I had punched him. She said to me, “That’s okay. I’ve frequently made his nose bleed.”

See? I’m a lamb!

Also while rolling with The Combatives Belt Kid (CBK, anyone?), I tried a cross choke.

“I feel really bad that I’m actively trying to hurt you,” I said. It seriously felt wrong. But he got away by rolling over his head somehow. It was rather impressive.

“You almost got me, though,” he was kind enough to tell me. “It was really close. [Long pause.] I need a minute.” We waited for the flow of blood to return to his brain.

Why aren’t more people into this stuff???

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Aug11

Rolling with Mrs. Instructor, aka Do Not try this at home.

Posted on August 11, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Rolling with Mrs. Instructor, aka Do Not try this at home.

So, you would think since Mrs. Instructor and I are friends, we’re both female, I’m new to Master Cycle, and given that the guys are nice and easy on me, she would be too, right?

Wrong!

That chic’s leg hooks were SOLID. I feel like 75% of the time I’m able to slip a choke. She was all, “Oh, you want to slide out by getting your back to the ground? Let me just pull you back on top of me as though you weigh approximately 7.5 pounds.”

“You got a frame in on the right side? That’s cool, I’ll just fling you over to the left and sink the choke in with that arm.”

Daaaaaaannnnnggg. Such fierceness!

Basically, I didn’t stand a chance.

See? We’re friends! Remember these good ol’ days? (Never mind that this was a tactical “hug” just before I swept her leg.)

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Aug8

My first Master Cycle class

Posted on August 8, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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But first, back up with me a little.

I figured I had climbed to the top of the Combatives class when I was asked to be demo partner and to help other students, like in the days of old. My final clue that maybe I might just possibly be the highest belt was when Instructor said, “You’re the highest belt.”

Sometimes it’s difficult to read that man. Just say what you mean, already!

But when this realization dawned on me, I had an “Oh my goodness, I did it” moment.

I thought back to my last encounter with the fabled Chex Mix Guy, known to long-time readers here. When I saw him while wearing my stylish medical support boot and explained my Jiu-Jitsu fall from grace, he encouraged me, saying, “That gives you a goal to aim for. Work your way back to the top.”

It was a year later when I returned to Jiu-Jitsu, and several more months before I reached that objective, but wherever CMG is now, I thank him for the encouragement. I wish I could tell him I made it.

Covid birthday present because he loves Star Wars, and I am the Leslie Knope of gift giving. (Leslie Knope is from the show *Parks and Recreation*. She rocked presents for friends.)

And so, after reaching the peak, I was about to enter the base camp of yet another mountain to climb.

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Aug4

My first Jiu-Jitsu class joke

Posted on August 4, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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I have old stories I haven’t yet shared, so I must take you back to my Combatives class days for a moment. Please forgive the timeline whiplash.

Instructor is quite funny, seemingly without even trying. For instance: “If you need to take someone down, be careful of what’s behind him. You don’t want to land in the street or on a baby stroller, or koala, or a cat. Be aware of your surroundings.”

I leaned to the woman next me. “Did he say koala?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, equally befuddled.

He weaves stuff like this in seamlessly.

Another thing he does is explain a move then ask Surfer Dude if he has anything to add. Since I was often demo partner in SD’s absence, I mentioned to Sensei that my new life goal was to be asked if I had anything to add.

Sensei responded with a characteristic insult. My first clue it was coming was when he opened his mouth. I, however, saw this as an excellent opportunity to make my first class joke.

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Jul31

Most girls dream about their future wedding…

Posted on July 31, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Most girls dream about their future wedding…

I never did.

I did, however, daydream about how I’d most like to receive my new belt. In my ideal world, my old friends from Betsy’s Jiu-Jitsu Journey Part 1 would be there. They would understand how much finally getting this belt after 16 months away and having to start over would mean to me.

The students in my beginner class, meh. They’d sort of care, but also not, with the possible exception of the few other females.

I commented to Instructor and Mrs. Instructor that it would be nice to get the new belt when the blue belt students were around. Mrs. Instructor laughed and reminded me that it’s meant to be a surprise.

I was indeed surprised. At the end of a class, Instructor awarded a stripe to one student. Then he did the recap of the day’s lesson, signaling to me that the awarding of promotions was over. Disappointed, but whatever, I let my gi top hang around my waist to cool off, thus making me to look like an idiot (aka, my natural state) when the moment came.

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A post shared by Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Vista CTC (@gracievista)

See that big line up of dudes? Only a couple of them know me.

HOWEVER, it just so happened that one blue belt friend from the old days WAS there. Not only that, he was standing right next to me. If I could only choose one person from back then, this is the one I would have chosen. It was truly a blessing to me that he was there.

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Jul27

Turns out, you can accomplish something when you work really really hard at it. Who knew?

Posted on July 27, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Turns out, you can accomplish something when you work really really hard at it. Who knew?

Yet another previously written post, but I had good reason to delay publishing.

The writing was slowly appearing on the wall. The beginner Jiu-Jitsu class was becoming too basic. I’d lingered longer than a normal person would because I wanted to soak up every last detail.

Then when a student I’d been helping when he was relatively new earned his fourth stripe, I knew I had overstayed my welcome.

With this new resolve, after class one day, I approached Instructor.

“When do you think I’ll be ready to test?” I asked.

He looked down, thoughtful, then turned to his brother.

Surfer Dude looked at me. “Now?”

I rapid fire blinked at him.

“Yeah, do you want to do it now?” Instructor asked.

“What? Uhhh.” I had not expected this response, and I was not prepared to test on the spot.

“Do you want to watch the demo videos first?” SD asked and suggested I print the test pages which list the moves for each of the four main drills.

I agreed with this plan and left in a daze.

Before I had completed my old card, the gym’s system changed, and I got a brand new card. Remember how uptight I was about getting marks for Class 20? Turns out, it didn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of twenty now.

Having made the decision to test, I needed to prepare. The best person to help me was someone who knew enough Jiu-Jitsu to be a knowledgeable “bad guy.”

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Jul25

Where the devil is

Posted on July 25, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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Here’s another old, unpublished post, originally written in June.

Instructor is trying to get me test-ready. It’s both flattering and a little maddening. Flattering because I’ve noticed he gives me line edits, as we say in my industry, rather than high-level suggestions. I’m past the basics, and he wants perfection.

That’s cool, but the maddening part is it means yet MORE details to learn and memorize. And they seem to keep being updated. Now I can’t use my hands or feet to get to modified sidemount. I’m to sliiiiide. Also, I felt my foot being lifted and placed back on the mat, toes flat, not propped up. The extra sad part is, Instructor had to do that twice.

Would that really be a point deduction? Quite possibly. Instructor is getting better and becoming more demanding. No actual complaint on that, but it’s making all of this harder. Will I ever finish? Will I ever have it all down and be ready for testing?

Hey look there’s me! Sitting apart from the guys. I don’t know why. They smell? I smell?

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Jul20

The reflex development that was

Posted on July 20, 2024 by Ilsa Rey

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I wrote this at least two months ago, but, for whatever reason, never posted it. Better late than never?

After regular Friday Jiu-Jitsu is an hour-long Reflex Development (RD) class. One Friday, after the first class ended, I sat on the bench, holding my socks. Should I put them on and leave? I surveyed the assembled students: a couple Master Cycle people, one who intimidated me a little, and two Combatives (my class) students whom I wasn’t fond of working with for one reason or another through no real fault of their own.

Surfer Dude began instructions, paused, looked at me, and said, “Are you staying for RD, Betsy?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I said.

Instructor spoke up. “Yes, you are,” he said firmly. “I’m not letting you leave here without doing RD.”

Well, okay, then. I was glad to have the decision made for me. Then one of my chicas showed up, so I was happy and comfortable working with her.