Jan3

I’m back, baby!

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I’m back, baby!

One of the first things Janis at Retirementally Challenged said to me when we finally met up (we’re in the same county for goodness sake!) was, “Why have you lost your blogging mojo?”

Janis and me at a Chili’s halfway between us.

Funny she should ask. On the drive down, Hubby and I had been discussing the issue: namely, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t returned to Jiu-Jitsu after breaking my foot in May. How could I tell you all? How would I explain? Did I really want to publicly admit the dream was over?

It didn’t help that Andrea commented on one of my posts, essentially, “Yeah, yeah, great about the book stuff, but where are the Jiu-Jitsu stories?!” I’m paraphrasing slightly.

I also felt guilt-ridden when I came across Jacqui’s comment about me to someone else on her blog:

You see I couldn’t take that lying down.

A few months ago, my old JJ buddy Tess was back in town. I caught up with her in her car in the gym parking lot and ducked whenever a student walked by. I didn’t want to deal with the questions.

When I saw Pink, however, someone I’m comfortable with, I hopped out of the car to call her name. She didn’t hear me, but I hadn’t noticed Humble One behind me.

Crud.

“Hey, Ilsa!”

Shoot.

And he asked if I was coming back. I demurred as best I could. I didn’t want to get into it. Nor do I want to get into it here. It’s a lot.

As before, Tess sent terrible photoshop images to the girls group text afterward to commemorate our time together and some of what we talked about like…

Killing plants
Skydiving
Skydiving with our dead plants

I’ve stayed in touch with HRH, and the thought of us eventually drifting apart due to lack of contact saddens me. I told her about the parking lot visit and Tess going inside to say hi to Instructor between classes.

Fast forward a couple months, and the gym held a free Saturday seminar in November. This is the same event that had brought me back two years ago after my first long absence.

The former desk lady–she never got a nickname, I’m afraid–texted to ask if I was going. To her I launched into all the reasons I didn’t want to go. Too painful, didn’t want to answer the questions, etc. But as the day drew nearer, I thought, “Oh, screw it. I want to be there.”

After the class, I told Instructor as much. He said, “All right!” and slapped me five.

I got to partner with HRH and afterward was invited to stay for rolls. I could remember pathetically little. Thoughtful One was my partner for that and was incredibly, you guessed it, thoughtful. He helped me and even let me get some submissions in. Afterward, I was touched that he sat next to me on the bench as I got my shoes on to ask how I’ve been, like he genuinely cared.

And no one, least of all Instructor, asked me questions or pressured me. Why was I afraid of this place?

Fast forward another month and an email came out inviting former students to rejoin for a year at half price. (The price was part of the issue.) I hemmed and hawed but let it go because it wasn’t the only issue. None of the other issues had anything to do with the gym itself, just with me and obligations at home and a husband who misses me. (What kind of psychopath loves his wife? What a freak show I married.)

Then I saw online that Instructor got his black belt. Glorious day! And soon after, Andre the Giant and Balloon Man, two of the earliest students when the gym opened nearly six years ago, finally got purple belts too.

I asked HRH if they had gone to Gracie University to test at the same time as Instructor. That fear–having to drive up to HQ and test in front of the Gracies–was more pressure than the purple belt was worth to me.

No, HRH told me. Now that her husband was a black belt, he was authorized to award belts on his own.

Oh yeah, and he gave her a purple belt too. 🙂

“This changes things!” I told her. “I didn’t want to go to that trouble for purple belt, but I already let that deal deadline pass me by.”

She responded: “I mean… I know a guy.”

LOL. Then she gave me a slew of reasons why I should come back. None of them included how much she misses me and can’t wait for more opportunities to beat the snot out of me. But that was implied.

On December 29, I got a “two days” warning. The topic had been avoided at home, so I assumed the deal was dead. Until about 10:30 p.m. on New Year’s Eve when Hubby said, “So, about Jiu-Jitsu…”

HRH told me that at the black belt test there were three sections for testing. One for people who were somewhat injured, one for people doing okay but not in peak condition, and one for “those who are there to die.” Instructor, not surprisingly, was in the last area.

This, too, was news to me. I assumed there was the death section only. She also shared that a 50-year-old woman got her black belt. My thought was, “I’ll beat that. I’ll be 51 or 52.”

I guess we’ll see how long I last before the next major injury. Also, the black belt test is two days, six hours each day. Even if I’m in the “ole lady” area, it could be my death section. But that’s too far away to contemplate now. Let’s just see if I make it to purple.

But, like I said in the title, I’m back, baby! (You’re welcome, Andrea. 😉 )

Me with Her Royal Highness (HRH)
When we thought the photographer was done taking pictures.
What you’re really here for.

This is the name for a thick-walled tightly sealed cast-iron pot used for open-flame baking.

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53 responses »

  5. Hey, congrats! Not just for your reinvigorated jiu-jitsu, but also for the blog buddy meet-up with Janis (she’s my blog buddy, too, though we haven’t met in person)! I’m just writing about my most recent meet-up now. I accidentally saw another commenter say “Dutch oven,” and since I can’t unsee that, I’m disqualified. Oh well, I had been trying to think of brand names (Lodge) instead, so I guess I didn’t really understand the question properly anyway.

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    • It seems to take me more than a year of first talking about it to make a blog buddy meet-up happen. And Janis only lives about 45 minutes away! Sheesh. You and I are on that same trajectory. Quite a while ago it was talk about some middle of nowhere place between you and Mark. But I can do better than that. 🙂

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  8. What the hell? You and me have been attending the same pity party! I’ve been hibernating for months. On January 2nd I finally sat down and wrote. It felt good. I was greeted with kindness and welcome. Of course, it’s a little different for you, you returned to a place where you’re supposed to get beat up. It’s a little crazy but I get it. The first half of 2025 was incredible, followed by a second half that was emotionally rough and I just gave into the big feelings. I think that’s okay. I have high hopes for 2026. How’s the book doing? Are you going to Nashville? I have so much to catch up on. I’ve missed you. Happy New Year my friend. Much love and hugs to you, C

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    • Oh man, Cheryl. I’m sorry to hear you were in the same boat. My last half of 2025 was a bit pity party-esque as well. I’m glad you jumped back into the friendly blog soup! 🙂 I think the book is doing well? No idea, really! 😛 I asked RR what the metric was for book 1 doing well enough to accept book 2. Instead of answering me with numbers, he just said they’ve accepted book 2 and I’ll get a contract by the end of Feb. Gosh, I hope it’s soon. Having the books out more than a year apart is lamer than I frequently seem to be.

      I’m not going to Nashville. I kinda wanna hold out in hopes they’ll come to San Diego. But I would also be willing to hike up to San Fran should it be there! Feel my squishy squeezy hugs, friend!

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  10. Jiu-Jitsu seems like a dangerous sport. I’ve had some ski accidents in the past. Skiing isn’t entirely safe either. I am sorry you broke your foot but I’m glad you are back (Jiu-Jitsu & blogging). The pictures and texts are fun to look at.

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  11. Welcome back! So nice to see a post from you and it must be so nice to be back to something that you enjoy and to a community that adores you and you back. Look forward to hearing more updates about your crew and fingers crossed for no major injuries this time!

    Liked by 2 people

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  12. oh wow, I was just writing about you! Vicki from the Vicki and Wynne interview team read my review and said she was happy to see it and enjoyed it and I said I wasn’t surprised as she was a fellow supporter of your book! ps – your situation reminds me of me trying to gently resign from my condo board which didn’t quite go as planned and I will now have to blog about. ) have fun, be safe and be careful ! I feel we may have a few more stories this year from this….)

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    • Beth, you’re a doll. It truly was a delight to get your email on my book launch day and see your review up before anyone else’s. You are a superior friend.

      I hope I catch that blog post of yours, as it sounds like an intriguing situation. I hope the story ends happily!

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  14. So happy to see you back in action! I’ve missed your posts, but it’s been such fun cheering on your book along the way. Anyone who can get a new book published, kill plants, skydive with aforementioned dead plants, and return to the mat clearly has both storytelling and warrior skills fully intact.

    I’ll be asking St. Sebastian, St. Jude, and maybe a random orthopedic surgeon saint (or maybe just a live doctor) to keep an eye on you. Also, I think your guardian angel deserves hazard pay at this point! 🤪🙌

    Stay safe, stay in one piece, and keep doing all the awesome things you do! 

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    • Faith! You’re a champion! And it’s wild to get a comment from someone I know in the real world even though, unlike a few of my blog buddies, I’ve never met you IRL! (That’s going to confuse people. Oh well.)

      You’ve been an excellent cheerleader, and I appreciate you so much!

      Oh man, my poor guardian angel. No joke. He’s like, “WHY couldn’t you have gotten interested in this in your 20s?” But then, “Oh, right. Having babies. Sigh.” Then he’s like, “Midlife crisis much, Ils?” Because he’s a bit sarcastic and calls me “Ils,” apparently.

      And yes, skydiving with dead plants will forever be my greatest accomplishment in life.

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  16. Hey, I actually knew the correct trivia answer…but as usual, there are 623 comments before me with the right guess. Story of my life.

    If back to Jiu-Jitsu means back to blogging, I’m happy. But what I really want to know is, why you lost your Chex Mix mojo. That was your “thing” for so long!

    Liked by 1 person

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    • It really was but, I got tired of them. They stopped tasting as amazing as they were at the beginning. It was a sad discovery. They say all good things must come to an end. Eventually Jiu-Jitsu will too. I just hope it’s not for a while, but who knows anymore with me!?

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  17. Ah, those final two photos are supremely satisfying. You are, shall we say, “properly dressed” again? And for the record I never read the text from HRH as “ole lady” but rather – add the accent – “olé lady” (which speaks more to bullfighting or flamenco dancing but either image beats “ole”). Also for the record, I never thought I’d be glued to a blog about Adventures in Jiu-Jitsuing yet here I am, lapping up every word again. Glad you’re back in the swing/ring Ilsa, even if only for a round or two. If nothing else, you’ve reacquired the excuse to bother us with trivia questions. On that note, no idea (or even a guess) as to today’s answer. I was never a warlock.

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    • OMG!!!! I’m dying at your interpretation of “ole.” SO much better. I need HRH to access that accent key. 😛

      Between you and me, Dave, I never would’ve guessed, years ago, that I’d be writing a blog about Adventures in Jiu-Jitsuing yet here I am.

      “reacquired the excuse to bother us with trivia questions.” LOL again! And, Dutch Oven, for the record. 🙂 Thank you for the laughs!

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