Apr12

Getting razzed in class

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Getting razzed in class

My Jiu-Jitsu instructor came over to help when I was attempting to do a move with Hip Rad Heroine (Mark’s HRH guess). Instructor said something then, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“What? No!” I said, horrified. “I just looked at her and then back at you.”

“Sheesh. The attitude on this one,” he said with an expression of wild disbelief.

At first I was mortified. Then I realized he was messing with me.

Another time, Instructor was heel hooking my good ankle–the one not wearing a protective sleeve.

Wrapped ankle on left in a blue shoe. On the right, pink shoe. I took this when I stepped out of the car in the Walmart parking lot. Leave it to me to wear mismatched shoes. I laughed then thought, “Well, this is Walmart. I’ll fit right in.”

When I didn’t tap to Instructor’s heel hook, he said, “You’re going to need a matching brace on this ankle.”

Yikes!

I relayed this story to Humble One, who was shocked. I’m honored Instructor feels comfortable enough to pick on me.

HRH is in charge of the gym’s social media. Note what I commented when I saw this online.

BTW, I called her HRH in class. She did the royal circular rolling hand wave (Can you picture that? How does one describe that?) with a bow. Way to play it up, Your Majesty.

In one class, Instructor told us to “manhandle or womanhandle” our partner. (Seriously, he said that.) On the very first go, HRH hurt her knee when I yanked her down to the mat. She had to take a time out, and of course I felt horrible.

Until she said about the injury, “I pulled an Ilsa.”

😒

She was sure she’d have a big bruise thanks to me. That’s when I showed her the small scar on my ankle courtesy of her toenail months ago.

“It’s sort of like us having matching tattoos,” she said.

Which gave me the idea for this Instagram reel.

Calm down, people. I know it’s not good to put marker on your skin. I washed it off right away. That’s the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu triangle symbol, but minus the little grappling figures in the middle.

Like so.

Sort of razzing Surfer Dude

I’ve mentioned that Surfer Dude and Blue Belt are in a band with my neighbor, Subie, down the street. Every once in a while, I’ll see SD and/or BB’s car parked at the end of the road. One twilight, I grabbed a black dry erase marker, donned my black hoodie, and trotted quickly past Subie’s house to crouch beside SD’s car and carefully write “ILSA RULES” backwards on the passenger window, so it would read correctly when the driver looked out that way. I also wrote “Ilsa was here” on the back windshield. Then I chuckled as I hurriedly tromped back up the street.

The next day, I got a video from SD, showing that he had found my notes. A crying laughing face accompanied the vid.

For hours, I didn’t respond that there were only two, hoping he’d take the time to search for more. I later learned he had not. But also, days later, he hadn’t wiped my writing off, either. Probably too much work. Still, I had pulled off a prank on the Mighty Surfer Dude, and it felt good. 🙂

Most of you were stymied and too afraid to hazard a guess regarding my response to Hubby’s “other wife.” There were a lot of good suggestions! I’m ashamed to admit that the correct answer was, “I’ll kick her a$s,” especially because I knew my oldest daughter, at least, was within hearing range. But, I was feeling feisty, and so it seemed appropriate.

New Q: Smithfield, Westphalian, and Serrano refer to specific regional preparations of this food.

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59 responses »

  1. Years ago my grandkids taught me the value of mismatched socks. Don’t see why this doesn’t apply to footwear, but matching braces might be better — you know to maintain symmetrical balance while running away from HRH.

    and ham — all Smiths lead to ham.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • “all Smiths lead to ham.” Man, you readers are smart.

      Could I run away from HRH? Mmmm. Questionable. I could kick her in the face to slow her down, maybe. I wonder if she’ll read this… Heh heh. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Definitely! And he doesn’t ignore anyone. Well, actually, I think he has ignored me in the sense of, “I know she’s got this down so I don’t need to watch her to be certain.” And, actually, that’s a real compliment. So, either way works for me! 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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  5. Kicking ass is quite appropriate in that situation 😀

    Sadly, I only knew of smithfield and so had to google to confirm the others are the “other white meat”. Of course, long pork is also the “other other white meat” so maybe those are an off off off broadway version of ham? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. “I pulled an Ilsa.” I’m loving that. You know you’ve made it when something like that happens.

    My answer: ham. My dad insisted on Smithfield for Easter. I ate Westphalian in England. And a good friend who lived for a while in Spain adores Serrano.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • As I was putting my hair up in front of the mirror this morning, I noticed quite a few arm bruises. So, yep. I’d say you’re correct there. How boring my life will be when I no longer have occasion to be bruised. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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      • Ha! I was at the hair dresser (every three months) and she pointed out a bruise on my forehead. I had no clue where it came from and then remembered the range, the casing that bounced out and against my head. Yeah. Didn’t bother me and as you say, how boring if life didn’t include that.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I love the banter and the nicknames in your group. HRH is a good one! Hope the bruising is not too bad.

    I wear mismatched socks all the time but you took it to the next level. Fitting in just fine at Walmart, indeed! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. Your description of the “royal circular rolling hand wave” was spot-on. I can picture it perfectly in my head. Well done!

    I think your toes look too nice for the true Walmart effect. You’d need chipped nails and scuffed-up polish to truly fit in. But it’s a start!

    Everyone beat me to the ham. Story of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Oh good! Thank you for commenting on the hand wave. I was truly unsure if I was describing that well, so thanks!

      Chipped nails or super long yellowing nails hanging off the edge of the sandals. Ewwww. There’s an image I wish I hadn’t just described.

      Everyone beat you to the ham is the story of your life? Are you stuck with just green beans and mashed potatoes on your plate instead. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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      • What a lovely image. Thank you for that. I’ll never look at a foot the same way again.

        To be fair, mashed potatoes and green beans are pretty good too!

        Like

      • I would’ve thought all of my literal foot images over the years would’ve made you never look at a foot the same way again–and this is with me having spared you the one where my toenail got ripped off.

        Yes, on the spuds and beans, especially the way I make them for holidays. 🙂

        Like

  16. Every once in a while I put on black socks, but then forget and slip on brown clogs to wear to work and I’m always so mortified that someone will notice my accidental color mismatch. If I wore two different colors of shoe, I’d probably be compelled to pretend I just threw up so I could go home!
    Fun prank. I’d be too nervous that the marker wouldn’t wash off. You are brave (and mischievous)! 😉

    Trivia best guess: gumbo?

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Pretend you threw up so you could go home! Ha! Is black with brown really so bad? I would’ve thought that was okay. Shows what I know!
      I made certain the marker wiped off easily before I proceeded.
      Not gumbo! One of these days the answer will be gumbo!

      Liked by 1 person

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  17. Remember the timeless stories about school boys teasing the girls they liked, because they didn’t know how to do anything else? Well, Betsy, boys don’t grow up. I think you’re in good stead, despite the socks!

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