Jan21

Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

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Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu

It was time to roll. Instructor turned on music.

And I started dancing. 

Typically, for this to happen, I have to be very comfortable with the people around me. So me dancing at Jiu-Jitsu… What the heck was that?!

For starters, it was, at best, some weird kick thing reminiscent of Elaine from Seinfeld.

I was her stunt double for this scene.

Instructor managed a straight face. Mrs. Instructor was politely looking away. But then she had no choice but to look as I stood over her, getting ready to pass her guard, meaning I had to get around her legs and on top of the fight.

She merely stared up at me, which must have been a struggle.

“Come on, Mrs. Instructor. Let’s have a dance battle,” I said.

Nary a lip twitch. This chic is goooodddd!*

Instructor said, “Pass her guard like that.”

I paused. “Pass her guard while dancing?” I suppose he meant by stepping in over her legs, but it was too late.

“Never mind,” he said. Maybe he realized it wouldn’t quite work, or the moment had passed.

I, too, was disappointed. Dance Battle Jiu-Jitsu should totally be a thing. Although, I have seen Instructor do Jiu-Jitsu moves that could pass for break dancing. I’ve also seen him rock out a little on the mat.

On one of these nights, I stood dumbfounded as “The Viking,” too, moved his arms and hips in time to the tune.

Finally overcoming my surprise at the two of them breaking it down, I turned to my patiently waiting partner, Combatives Belt Kid, only to find that CBK himself was bopping about!

“Oh. My. Gosh,” I said. “Even you?” So much for teenagers being self-conscious.

The event was a thing of beauty and over far too soon.

* I would like the record to show that Mrs. Instructor has since admitted: “I actually love your dancing.” Come to think of it, she didn’t clarify whether that’s because she deemed it good, as far as dancing goes, or if she loves it because it makes her die of laughter inside.

Probably best I don’t ask for clarification.

Going Viking! (When Vikings would set off on raiding missions, but anyway, nerd…)

I’ve been WAITING for a chance to talk about The Viking. This guy, in his thirties, I imagine, has a long reddish brown beard that he STROKES during instruction time. It’s such a stereotypical “thinking” pose, that even my 14-year-old strokes an imaginary beard to indicate pondering something. The Viking’s slight squint of concentration completes the pose.

He also has long hair, but only on top of his head. The bottom half is cut short. The top half he pulls into a looped ponytail. I also learned he has four daughters ages ten to fourteen, and he’s a salesman for quilting material!

This place is teaching me so much about not judging a book by its cover. Remember Li’l Trejo? And don’t get me started about the sort-of scary looking mohawked Combatives student I spotted wearing a “Jesus and Jiu-Jitsu” sweatshirt. I wouldn’t have guessed that combo for him.

And yet, everyone’s favorite Surfer Dude is someone I would’ve passed on the other side of the street had I not first learned what a puppy dog he is.

Surfer Dude: not a man to be trifled with, but also, let’s not forget…
He’s so frightening with those ice cream sundae Friends socks!

P.S. After I wrote about Surfer Dude and these socks, I pulled up the post to show him and Blue Belt. The post was called, “Rolling with Surfer Dude.”

“Who’s Surfer Dude?” Blue Belt asked.

“That’s me,” SD said with a note of pride in his voice. Then he went on to tell BB that it should be Metal Head now, but Surfer Dude is too entrenched in readers’ minds–referencing a conversation he and I had months ago.

Not only am I impressed he remembered, but, unlike the monsters I created in the past, (Cough, Chex Mix Guy. Cough, Sensei) he seems wholly unconcerned about what I’ve been writing about him. Way to be secure, SD!

It gets even better: The Viking and I had a conversation about energy drinks–varieties, flavors, where to get them at the best price–then he said… Are you guys ready for this? “Better living through chemistry”!

I could not believe he was quoting the answer to a recent trivia question! I don’t know that I’d ever heard anyone say that, yet he pulled it out. Amazing.

Okay, okay, on with it.

Last time: In Stephen King’s Christine, the villain car is a 1957 Fury made by Plymouth. Nice job to those of you who knew that!

New question: In Louisiana, this regional favorite dish is exempt from all sanitation laws. (This question is, understandably, in a section called “Stupid Laws.”)

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55 responses »

  3. “Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
    For tonight, I’m a-gonna see my, my cher au mi-oh”

    Come on, ole Hank wants us out on the dance floor!!!

    “Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-oh
    Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the Bayou”

    and don’t worry, the doctor said as long as I take my pills and don’t try to jump too much, I am allowed to dance … but first I’ll have to buy some fancy socks with pictures of crawfish .. back soon …

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  7. Have you checked out Capoeira? It’s a marshal arts discipline involving elements of dance.

    Good for the unselfconscious one… I’ve read awful “confessions” from people who were raked over the coals for “using” their real life relationships as “content.” What are we supposed to write about? People we don’t know and things which don’t happen to us so we don’t have a real clue about them??

    BTW I’ve found myself writing/posting a couple of times lately with a martial arts theme ~ if you missed (miss) them let me know and I’ll send you links 🙋

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    • I did now! Looks like kick dancing and a lot of fun! There isn’t a school for that near me, but I found a workout based on it. I may try that tomorrow.

      You’re right. We write about what we know. So long as I’m not saying anything negative. I hope I’m not. Am I? Hmm…

      Send me links!

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      • I say it even if it is uncomfortable, though usually without names, and including an affirmative alternative. A poet lives in posterity’s limelight, and if companions on the path of life have trouble owning up to, backing, or changing their behaviors then they need to find companions for themselves who are more comfortable with the wiggle room of gossip behind the hand. God knows they’re thick on the ground.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. You are a born leader! I bet you were the kid who led all the others outdoors when the day care workers were looking the other way. 🙂

    Surfer dude is awesome; love those socks! Now that’s a real man who can rock those.

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  10. “Dance Battle Jiu Jitsu” sounds like that video game from years ago – what was it called? Dance Dance Revolution or something? Maybe you should label your moves “Ji Ji Jigs”. Hey, and it was interesting to read SD knows he’s been nicknamed SD. Is that the exception, or do the several others also know their nicknames? I thought that was a blog-only thing. Trivia: red beans and rice comes to mind but only because I can’t come up with another “regional favorite dish” in LA. I really need to get back to New Orleans one of these days.

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    • Dance Dance Revolution sounds familiar. Never played it, though. Ji Ji Jigs should absolutely be a thing. SD is an exception. Years ago I told him about the blog and his name. He was originally SD1 and his other brother who is now gone, was SD2. Now it’s just SD. He was very proud that he was number 1. Mrs. Instructor is the only one who reads this, and she has complained that her nickname is too boring and obvious. I may have to do something about that, but, again, it’s fairly entrenched now. Trivia: glad to know you’re not a cheater. I trust you’ve seen the correct answer now. 🙂

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  12. I’m guessing crawfish etouffée…or maybe a gator version, LOL. Most of my relatives seem content with their nicknames on my blog. And it’s become a familial status symbol, apparently. Smarter Than Stephen Hawking Niece was all, “OMG, Kick Ass Niece made the blog with her lemon cookies!”

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    • That’s super fun that your people read your blog and love be mentioned. I don’t even know if my own mother reads this anymore. I know she used to, but I hear nothing about it from her now. Mrs. Instructor does, but she must be humble. She generally comments on something I’ve written that isn’t about her. I’m impressed.
      As far as the trivia: close!

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      • At least you’re getting SOME feedback from real life friends/family. It seems 99% of my readers aren’t people I know IRL, unless they’re secretly lurking. Mrs. Instructor had been for months before she fessed up. 😛

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  15. My guess was dirty rice – it’s right there in the name, after all! – but I see from the comments that I’d have been wrong anyway.

    I could get behind Metal Head if you were to update Surfer Dude’s blog name. Actually, this makes me wonder what my nickname would be if I were some unsuspecting schmo not already reading your blog.

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  16. This post reminded me of the walk-off they had in Zoolander. Not quite a dance-off, but it’s nice to be reminded of Zoolander just the same.

    I’ve never been to Louisiana, but I’ll guess etouffee (I can’t be bothered with all the French diacritical marks in that word).

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  17. I love it that your mates are proud of their nicknames. Lol. And they fit perfectly. They’re like characters in Betsy’s jiu-jitsu book. I love the Elaine clip. If you dance like that, you have a future in film. 🙂

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