Allow me to take you back in time several weeks. Hop aboard.
Sep28
Category Archives: Mrs. Instructor
Aug11
Teaching girls to kick butt and take names
This was my third year teaching a girls’ self defense summer camp. I wore a boot for my not-quite-healed broken foot, but I made it work.
The last day was a flurry of fast-paced review, interrupted briefly by what the girls called “story time” for which they gathered around me in a semi-circle.
I’d already given a speech about situational awareness and how their level of alertness should go up as the comfort of their surroundings goes down. (And for goodness sake, don’t be looking at your phone.) This time I gave them real talk about danger from non-strangers and what to do if a relative, family friend, or future coworker makes them uncomfortable.
At the end, one of them said, “That wasn’t a very fun story.” So I added, “Then you grab their head and smash your knee in their face!”
They all shouted, “Yay!”
Not even kidding. It always amuses me how stiff and quiet they are the first few days. By the end,
Jul6
Writing and Martial Arts
The Writing Part
Anyway, here’s something funny and ironic. How many of you caught the typo in my last post?
“Despite all the work, I know stuff it still going to get missed.”
Wow.
Jun3
I guess it’s time I blogged something.
May7
Things that make me happy
It takes so little sometimes. Stuff that I’ve only seen on TV or in movies but then see in real life generally fits the bill.
For instance, chatting with friends at a restaurant while we waited for our table, I happened to look outside and see two guys greet each other with a multi-part handshake.
Who has seen this in real life???
Seriously, if you have, tell me. I’m not sure I knew fancy handshakes actually happened other than on a screen. It was not super complicated. Maybe five steps. Still. It counts. It was amazing.
Secondly, I sold books at a conference in a Marriott hotel. This dude rolled my boxes in for me. To my knowledge, thanks to TV, those carts are used for the rich and famous. I saw one–in action–for me.
Was I supposed to tip that guy? Shoot. Literally only thinking of this now. I don’t know how to behave like the rich and famous. Pretty sure none of them would snag a pic of this, for starters.
Apr12
Getting razzed in class
My Jiu-Jitsu instructor came over to help when I was attempting to do a move with Hip Rad Heroine (Mark’s HRH guess). Instructor said something then, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”
“What? No!” I said, horrified. “I just looked at her and then back at you.”
“Sheesh. The attitude on this one,” he said with an expression of wild disbelief.
At first I was mortified. Then I realized he was messing with me.
Another time, Instructor was heel hooking my good ankle–the one not wearing a protective sleeve.
Mar16
It was my worst Jiu-Jitsu class ever…
First, I got reprimanded for inadvertently insulting Balloon Man. When I lifted my head to explain, Instructor pushed it back down, silently saying, “Stop talking; do the move.” But at least, from what I glimpsed, Balloon Man did not appear insulted.
Nevertheless, I needed to keep mentally changing the subject afterward because being reprimanded by Instructor, which has happened three times now, makes me want to cry. I hate disappointing him.
Then it was roll time, and Instructor and Balloon Man sat right next to Money and me. I can barely function when I know he’s watching. I even said, “Do you really have to sit right there watching?”
“Just roll,” he said.
Mar12
“Looking blue”
The week’s Jiu-Jitsu focus was heel hook escapes, particularly from 4/11 position. In other words, “How not to get your ankle or knee broken.”
Instructor came over to watch me on my first attempt. There was a lot of, “Freeze. Go back”–my three most-feared words. Once I finally got it, he said, “Great! Look at you! You conquered a 4/11 escape!”
When he walked away, I said to his wife, “Okay, what is this? The kids’ class? I’m not that fragile.” It was practically a head pat and a “Good Ilsa!”
Sadly, I was not given a treat.
Mar2
You should see the other guy
Given that our recent focus in Jiu-Jitsu has been all things lower extremities: heel hooks, ankle locks, knee bars, and now toe holds, I’m not surprised by how colorful my skin has become from the knee down. This adds to the near-omnipresent arm bruises.
But one night before class, I considered how cool it would be to have a black eye. I’m all about new experiences; why not this one? I’ve thought this a handful of times, so the only reason it’s unique now, is that I sort of got my wish.
Feb6
The funny parts
My Jiu-Jitsu Instructor asked if anyone had a question. I raised my hand and asked if you could sneak a choke in from North/South when someone was turtling. (You follow all that?) “Money” was nearest, so Instructor demonstrated on him.
When he asked if there were any more questions, I asked what to do if the person’s turtle is so tight you can’t slip an arm in.
So, Instructor demonstrated with Money again, break dancing on top of him before ultimately sneaking in the choke. Meanwhile, Money’s getting his rear repeatedly handed to him.
“Any other questions?”
“I’m trying to think of one just so I can see you mess with Money some more,” I said.
He laughed. Money looked at me and laughed too. Then Instructor turned to him and said, “Next time I’ll demo with her and let you watch.”
Writing and Martial Arts 